World Cup Update #2

Before I discuss the important events on the pitch, I must first confess that I haven't watched much football over the past couple of days. It's not just that I'm still struggling to get out of bed in time for matches with a 7:30 am kick-off. Instead, I've been busy celebrating Queen Elizabeth II's Golden Jubilee, which has clashed with many World Cup matches. I'm disgusted that FIFA have chosen to organise this global festival of football at a time that conflicts with Her Majesty's Jubilee celebrations.

Although the World Cup is an important event that occurs only once every four years, the importance of the Golden Jubilee, occuring but once in a lifetime, cannot be underestimated. Let's not forget that the Queen is the figurehead of not just Great Britain, but of the 54 Commonwealth nations which account for nearly a third of the world's population. Furthermore, FIFA should remember that The Beautiful Game was born in England. FIFA's decision to host the World Cup in the Jubilee year shows a disgraceful contempt for the Queen and her many subjects worldwide.

Now onto football matters. In another shock result, the United States of America today beat Portugal in a 3-2 scoreline. For the benefit of Adequacy's many American readers, let me state the obvious here and now, before you delude yourselves any further:

The USA will not win the World Cup!

Let's face up to the facts:

Underdogs don't win World Cups. Of all the world's many nations, only seven countries have lifted the Jules Rimet Cup. The USA is not one of these glorious nations. History proves that the USA will not be victorious.
Portugal played badly. Very badly, by Portugese standards. Although the USA played comparatively well, don't forget that an in-form Portugese team would have swept the Americans aside like the amateurs that they are.

Sorry America, but 2002 isn't going to be your year. The best you can hope for is to qualify from the group stages of the tournament, only to be humiliated when you meet a quality side in the knock-out stages.

While I'm busy deflating overblown egos, I think it's about time that someone pointed out that the Brazilian Emperor has no clothes. Despite all the hype about the Brazilians' allegedly superior footballing skills, they have demonstrated themselves to be little more than a team of flagrant cheats. My suspicions were first aroused when Brazil were awarded a dubious penalty. A slow-motion replay of the events leading up to the penalty confirmed my suspicions about the Brazilians' honesty: Luizao's shirt was pulled by a Turkish player well outside the penalty box. However, despite being pulled backwards with such a great force, Luizao bravely managed to run a further two metres (to the edge of the penalty box) before performing an Olympic record winning long jump to place his feet just into the penalty area. I'm not a physicist, but it seems to contradict Newton's Second Law of Motion that being pulled backwards by one's shirt can actually have the effect of propelling one forwards with such great velocity.

Brazil's gamesmanship reached new heights in the final minute of the match when Turkish player Unsal inadvertently caught Rivaldo on the chest while passing him the ball for a corner kick. In a now infamous scene, Rivaldo hit the floor clutching his face as if he'd been punched by Tyson, despite the fact that the ball made contact with his torso. Poor Unsal was shown the red card.

FIFA have today demonstrated that they're going to clamp down on all forms off cheating by sending Rivaldo home in disgrace and banning him from all international matches for the next twelve months. Sorry, my mistake. Rivaldo has been fined approximately £5000 (less than a day's wages), but will not miss any matches. I suppose it was inevitable that FIFA would give a high-profile player in one of the world's most popular teams carte blanche to break the rules of football. After all, satisfying the tournament's sponsors is far more important than maintaining the integrity of the game. I expect to see another display of this variety of "cunning" football when England face Argentina on Friday.

Other results, to help you fill in your World Cup wallcharts:

Group C
Brazil 2 - 1 Turkey
China 0 - 2 Costa Rica

Group D
South Korea 2 - 0 Poland

Group G
Croatia 0 - 1 Mexico
Italy 2 - 0 Ecuador

Group H
Japan 2 - 2 Belgium
Russia 2 - 0 Tunisia

Read the previous installment of World Cup news

	Brazil vs Turkey. (none / 0) (#1)
	by Anonymous Reader on Wed Jun 5th, 2002 at 03:10:38 PM PST

	Might as well have been Brazil vs Germany II as a significant number of Turkish starters were born, bred and recruited in Germany. In fact, the Turkish Football Federation has an office in Dortmund for the purpose of stealing away the German sons of Turkish immigrants. I dont know what is more discouraging, the presence of two German teams or the rise of National Socialism in a traditional Muslim nation. It doesnt matter, this will be the year Italy finally doesnt choke (mainy because they arent expected to win.)

	re: Brazil vs Turkey. (none / 0) (#2)
	by iat on Wed Jun 5th, 2002 at 04:12:45 PM PST

	a significant number of Turkish starters were born, bred and recruited in Germany And don't forget Muzzy Izzet, who was born and raised in the UK. Since the Turks have stolen some of Germany's best players, the Germans have been forced to steal players from Poland such as their star player, Miroslav Klose. this will be the year Italy finally doesnt choke Other than 1934, 1938 and 1982 when Italy won the World Cup? Adequacy.org - love it or leave it.

	four's the charm (none / 0) (#4)
	by Anonymous Reader on Wed Jun 5th, 2002 at 06:51:23 PM PST

	Other than 1934, 1938 and 1982 when Italy won the World Cup? Oh, I wasnt very big on gambling during those wins.

	Let's wave the Stars and Stripes now (none / 0) (#3)
	by Narcissus on Wed Jun 5th, 2002 at 04:50:15 PM PST

	This will be a great year for U.S. soccer. I'm definitely not going to say they will win it all this year but Tuesday's match shows that they are capable of playing with the better teams. If they aren't good enough then why did Portugal need the Americans to score a goal for them to keep it close? -------------------------------- Ok, who picked the flower???

	The US will have our year (none / 0) (#5)
	by First Incision on Wed Jun 5th, 2002 at 10:56:39 PM PST

	While I doubt soccer will ever reach large popularity as a spectator sport (we already have one boring sport, baseball and a more exciting sport also called football) I think our teams will keep getting stronger and stronger. Right now, soccer is the most popular youth sport. "Soccer mom" is a term thrown around on a daily basis. Heck, even I played soccer for 3 years in grade school. I know some extremely rabid adult soccer fans. And unlike fans of other American sports, they actually play it. The upshot of this is that the US will be able to pull from a larger and larger pool of athletes. I predict, in 12-16 years, when today's 10-14 year-olds are in their prime, the US will be a contender. _ _ Do you suffer from late-night hacking? Ask your doctor about Protonix.

	This isn't meant to be inflammatory... (none / 0) (#7)
	by budlite on Thu Jun 6th, 2002 at 07:09:40 AM PST

	...but why is US football actually CALLED football? As far as I can tell the ball rarely touches a person's foot.... As I said, this isn't a dig at the US, just idle curiosity.

	Obviously (none / 0) (#8)
	by walwyn on Thu Jun 6th, 2002 at 08:02:29 AM PST

	as it developed from Rugby Football, American tweeness didn't want their kids playing something called Rugger.

	I see now (none / 0) (#9)
	by budlite on Thu Jun 6th, 2002 at 08:48:03 AM PST

	I half-had that idea in my mind just after that post anyway, as soon as I remembered the origins of Rugby football - some guy decided to pick up the ball during a soccer game and run with it, and it developed from there. I can't remember the origin of the flattened-out shape of the ball though,

	Ellis Webb (none / 0) (#10)
	by walwyn on Thu Jun 6th, 2002 at 08:56:57 AM PST

	As for ball shape you have to consider Public Schools and whether the participants would be more able to handle something shaped like a cucumber, or a melon.

	Handball (none / 0) (#11)
	by iat on Thu Jun 6th, 2002 at 09:14:59 AM PST

	some guy decided to pick up the ball during a soccer game and run with it I'm sure that FIFA would still condone such blatant cheating, providing the guy was Brazilian. Adequacy.org - love it or leave it.

	a pedant writes: (none / 0) (#6)
	by Anonymous Reader on Thu Jun 6th, 2002 at 06:00:09 AM PST

	I'm sure old queeny is only head of state for about 18 nations, still quite a lot mind. & here's a warm hearted cheer for the US team too. Come on, you know soccer is better than that silly version of Rugby you play in Mech suits! Come join the rest of the world in rejoicing in the one true football! & come on England! best of luck on Friday

	England. (none / 0) (#14)
	by dmg on Thu Jun 6th, 2002 at 11:22:07 AM PST

	I was reading somewhere that England are quaking in their boots at the thought of facing Argentina in the so-called group of death. One wonders how much attention England should pay to this coke-snorting tax-dodging cheat... Revenge will be sweet tomorrow. (for the British). time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration. -- MC Hawking

	I told you so. (none / 0) (#17)
	by dmg on Fri Jun 7th, 2002 at 07:00:45 AM PST

	England scored a magnificent victory against the Argentinans. 1-0 time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration. -- MC Hawking

	Just if you missed it... (none / 0) (#16)
	by FifthChild on Fri Jun 7th, 2002 at 03:36:35 AM PST

	Noteworthy occurences other than the Brazillian inspired cheat fest (I've not missed a minute so far): The sheer pressure and skill shown by the host nations Japan and South Korea- Japan were good and unlucky to have their third (legitimate) goal denied by an obviously bitter referee, but the Koreans played like tigers. Every Polish player was marked every second of the game. Every lose ball ended up with at Korean feet. They never gave the Poles a chance. The sight of 56,000 screaming fans must have left the Poles feeling the lonliest men in Korea. But neither host nation is likely to get past the round of sixteen; still it will be valuable intrnational experience for them both. And you better mention the Senegalese goal against Denmark in your next update. Goal of the tournament so far. Let's Napalm George W. Bush

	Rulz (none / 0) (#15)
	by First Incision on Thu Jun 6th, 2002 at 05:22:00 PM PST

	The history of American Football is quite interesting. Like Baseball, it developed from an English sport, but nobody on this continent could quite remember what the rules were. American football's rules developed very gradually. That's why the game is so complicated. One of the more famous examples is the forward pass. It was very <a href="http://www.adequacy.org/">controversial</a> around the turn of the century, and even the <a href="http://home.no.net/birgerro/fwpassh.htm">president</a> got in on the debate. _ _ Do you suffer from late-night hacking? Ask your doctor about Protonix.

	A pedant replies (none / 0) (#12)
	by iat on Thu Jun 6th, 2002 at 09:20:13 AM PST

	I'm sure old queeny is only head of state for about 18 nations, still quite a lot mind. It's just as well that I said that the Queen is the figurehead for the 54 Commonwealth nations isn't it? Adequacy.org - love it or leave it.

	Maybe Not (none / 0) (#13)
	by doofus on Thu Jun 6th, 2002 at 10:41:27 AM PST

	I'm 41 years old. AYSO was HUGE where I lived as a teen, and was huge lots of other places, too. Those kids were supposed to grow up and remain soccer fans as adults, spawning initial US World Cup soccer teams and having kids who would grow up to be the next generation of US World Cup teams and eventually win one. That plan came true for the women, but not for the men.