Before I continue my essay, in the interest of full disclosure, my company is attempting to establish a new skinning factory located in Cambodia.  As you can imagine, the fussy, communist environmentalists are once again dragging another hard working CEO out of the office chair and into the courtroom.

Unlike other baby seal skinning factories, our baby seals will be harvested from the costal regions of Africa, and flown still live to the skinning factory where they will be skinned alive.  Their skin will be used to make many important upper class women's accessories such as purses, shoes, and wallets.  Because we only skin our seals live, we can sell the meat.  Our consumer research has shown that Americans prefer non bile tainted seal meat in their tuna.  Not only that, but the bile has proven to cause cancer in chimpanzees.  All other parts of the young animal will be discarded, and burnt in an open pit.

Our architects have designed our factory with cost saving measure in mind.  For example, due to the extraordinarily low cost of labor in Cambodia, we will not need machines to carry around the carcasses.  We will line up the workers, and in a bucket brigade style, our employees will hand off the seal to the next station.  When you take in to consideration that if we used a mechanical assembly line, we would have to pay well over $1,000,000 plus annual maintenance.  With the going rate of labor, we can implement our human assembly line for a measly sum of $10 a day!  Over the lifetime of the plant, the savings to add up to billions.  Our research has also shown due to the low fat, low water diets of many lower income Africans eat, they there fore to not defecate or urinate as much.  This will result in huge financial savings as they only need to use our restrooms once, perhaps twice a day.

As you can imagine, a baby seal skinning factory produces a lot of liquid waste.  When the seals are cut open, their hearts still beat their blood from their bodies.  This blood, mixed with the beasts urine, and fecal mater is drained onto the floor where gravity feeds it into small ruts dug on the sides of the factory. Due to cost reasons, rather than implement a full sewage system for the village, we have decided to drain this waste into the existing sewage rut carved by the citizens some months ago.

But enough about them, let me tell your the benefits that will be gained here, on our soil.  As I have mentioned previously, baby seal skin is used to create shoes, purses and wallets for the wealthy.  The average consumer cost of any of these devices can range in the mid thousands.  But it does not have to be that way.  Thanks to these communists, companies, such as the one for which I am the CEO of, cannot fill the growing demand for baby seal skin.  Our research has shown that if we can bring the price of baby seal skin down to the tens of dollars instead of thousands, thanks to a thousand fold increase in demand, we can grow our revenue base over %100!  Getting the price of baby seal skin down is easy, loosed environmental, and trade regulations so that I can build my factory!  The only thing that keeps baby seal skin purses, wallets, shoes, and perhaps even such items as house wrap, and car seat covers out of your, Joe Sixpack's hand, is the oppressive environmentalists.

So please, call your local representative and tell them to tell the environmentalists to back off.  Tell your representative that you want, no demand a low cost supply of baby seal skin.

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Dr. Martin Cortez, PhD