The Stupidity of Environmental Liberalism

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The Stupidity of Environmental Liberalism

Author:

turmeric

Topic:

Technology

Posted:

Mar 14, 2002

Comments:

I have become quite weary of these liberals who want to experiment with dangerous new lifestyle choices. The old ways are not good enough for them, and in some constant search for a few more 'highs' they strike out in whatever direction seems new or unusual. Perhaps the worst examples of the consequences of this morally loose action can be found in stories such as this one, about the effects of the dangerous new wood treatment called CCA.

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CCA, or copper chromium arsenate, is used on everything from decking to fencing to children's swingsets, to preserve the wood for a few more years than is 'natural'. In their supreme laziness, these liberals have decided that its more important to save a little 'hassle' with replacing wood than it is if we all start bleeding and losing our hair.

Here is the tragic story of one family affected by this dangerous left-wing experimentalist attitude:

The family suffered arsenic poisoning by inhaling poisoned dust, by skin contact with the wood ash, and by ingesting the ash," and they suffered blackouts, seizures, hair loss, nosebleeds, skin rashes, and extreme fatigue. The youngest children, who played on the floor, had the most severe problems.

Young people go to CCA-wood 'parties' at 'home improvement' centers, where they listen to loud repetitive music blasting from huge speakers, surrounded by unisex clothed 'associates' in brightly colored uniforms. They may spend upwards of several hundred dollars on their addiction, purchasing CCA wood decking, CCA garden sheds, CCA toilet seats, etc.

Witness the story of farmer john, who lost over 20 cows to this 'experimentation'. John was once a promising farmer. However he got hooked on CCA by a friend of his back from the South, a hotbed of environmental liberalism. He started using CCA for everything from door frames to sex toys. He was the president of the local CCA-wood chapter, and he and his wife went to a CCA-wood treatment plant on their honeymoon. Even the death of 20 cattle did not deter his use. "I just figured that it didn't matter anyway, I was having such a good time using CCA."

But one day he "hit bottom". "I realized I was using CCA in my baby's crib. I just knew then that something was wrong with me, and I had to stop."

Farmer John quit 'cold turkey' with the help of the local Conservative Action Committee, which payed him to haul off all the CCA treated wood on his homestead. "I was so relieved when it was all gone. The temptation was gone. I still get the itch when I see a home improvement center, but you know, its like they say, it takes one day at a time to recover." Farmer John now travels around the country, talking to schools and churches about the years lost to his addiction.

"CCA almost ruined my life, but I got out of it in time. You can too"

For even the most hardened of liberals like John, there is hope. Please call or write to your local conservative action center today, to find out more information about how you can help fight the dangers of environmental liberalism.

	first to post (5.00 / 1) (#5)
	by astrix on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 09:09:30 AM PST

	Let me be the first to toast to the brilliance of this article. Capitol article turmeric! CCA is a dangerous new drug that needs to be snuffed before all out national abuse ensues. I propose national ad campaigns, run during the Super Bowel. BUY CCA? YOUR A TERRORIST TO! "Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty" --Thomas Jefferson

	spelling flame (5.00 / 1) (#7)
	by nathan on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 12:33:46 PM PST

	I'm too lazy to do it, but I request that you flame yourself now. Nathan -- Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

	Re: (none / 0) (#9)
	by tkatchev on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 01:17:16 PM PST

	Preferrably using simple mono-syllable grunts, so that this time around you'll be sure to be error-free. -- Peace and much love...

	:grunt: (none / 0) (#30)
	by astrix on Mon Mar 18th, 2002 at 10:57:25 AM PST

	you're all a bunch of flaming homo's. i snub thee austrolopeithicus! after all bad grammar is the american way. "Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty" --Thomas Jefferson

	'Bad' grammar may be the American way... (5.00 / 1) (#32)
	by hauntedattics on Tue Mar 19th, 2002 at 06:36:35 AM PST

	but tkatchev is Russian and nathan is Canadian.

	And next week... (none / 0) (#6)
	by because it isnt on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 09:11:14 AM PST

	The Hidden Dangers Of Lawn Ornaments: What Every Liberalist Ought To Know adequacy.org -- because it isn't

	Your link is broken (none / 0) (#8)
	by Anonymous Reader on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 12:59:14 PM PST

	It seems to be a self-referential link.

	got wood? (none / 0) (#10)
	by carrotrope2002 on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 01:56:58 PM PST

	It's not just homeowners anymore, folks. Apparently this scourge of the suburbs has been spreading to the inner city. CCA can be condensed through a boiling process using baking soda and Ty-D-Bowl to create a super-concentrated, crystalline form known on the streets as "wood". "Woodsheds" have been springing up left and right as self-proclaimed "logheads" seek out places to smoke the nefarious substance in safety.

	heh heh heh (5.00 / 1) (#11)
	by jvance on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 06:37:37 PM PST

	He said "wood." -- Adequacy has turned into a cesspool consisting of ... blubbering, superstitious fools arguing with smug, pseudointellectual assholes. -AR

	regulatory strangulation is never the answer (none / 0) (#12)
	by foon on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 07:24:50 PM PST

	The depraved behavior of some of these liberalists is something that obviously should not be tolerated by an right-thinking american. But as you should all know, in America we have a free-market economy, and the natural action of supply and demand determines which products succeed or fail on the market. The fact is, if these products are popular, it is an indication that they offer advantages to the consumer such that they are willing to pay the price premium for CCA-treated wood, and the producers are able to achieve higher profits and increase shareholder value as a result of selling them. As with any popular commodity, such as quality Microsoft software and Philip Morris tobacco products, their popularity is only an indication of the needs of the consumer. Attempts by the government to regulate such products only results in decreased innovation and economic vitality, and in the case of such attempts as prohibition of alcoholic beverages, can actually lead to an inrease in their popularity. If you, as a consumer, do not feel that CCA-treated wood products meet your needs, then by all means do not buy them. If consumers indicate a preference for untreated wood, the added cost of CCA treatment will no longer be justified and these products will not be available. And furthermore, a faith-based approach to prevent abuse of these products is needed in any case. But what everyone should realize we don't need is burdensome restriction on the entrepreneurs themselves, who are only doing their patriotic duty by maxmizing profit.

	You don't fool me (5.00 / 1) (#13)
	by Anonymous Reader on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 10:08:19 PM PST

	Behind all your clever words your ulterior motive shines through. You are an abuser of CCA yourself and couldn't give a damn about the damage you and your kind are causing to American youth. Simply because in some deviot circles currency can be exchanged for CCA, does not in any way make this garbage comparible with legitimate and necesary consumer goods such as tobacco or properly manufactured software. The salient point that you have missed with the "free market" suggestion for controlling CCA is that the vast majority of Americans are trusting, generous people who cannot be expected to maintain continual vigilence against the criminals who bring this stuff into the country. The obvious solution to this problem is to deploy the same tried and tested tactics that have kept our country practically drug-free for years (in comparison to less civilised parts of the world such as England). Good luck with battling your addiction.

	"deviot" ?! (none / 0) (#14)
	by nathan on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 05:53:30 AM PST

	I do not approve of this. Nathan -- Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

	Crikey! (none / 0) (#15)
	by because it isnt on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 06:27:20 AM PST

	Imagine how upset you'd be if you'd spotted "vigilence" as well! adequacy.org -- because it isn't

	I quit reading after "deviot." n/t (none / 0) (#16)
	by nathan on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 07:27:29 AM PST

	-- Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

	Deviot (5.00 / 1) (#21)
	by jvance on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 12:22:39 PM PST

	Main Entry: de·vi·ot Pronunciation: -&t Function: noun Date: 21st century : Deviant idiot: FUCKTARD -- Adequacy has turned into a cesspool consisting of ... blubbering, superstitious fools arguing with smug, pseudointellectual assholes. -AR

	Erm (none / 0) (#17)
	by budlite on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 08:18:49 AM PST

	Have you ever BEEN to England? I think not. In England people who listen to heavy metal don't go round schools with a gun and shoot their classmates. The less habitable suburbs of our cities aren't bristling with crackhouses. Our University students seem to be a LOT less rowdy and idiotic than US college students. Gun misuse is almost non-existent compared to what you hear about in the US. True, England has its negative aspects (football hooligans, "townies" beating up moshers, not the other way round), but other than that the impression I get is that the US is a lot less civilised than England and the rest of the UK.

	Have YOU ever been to the USA ? (5.00 / 2) (#18)
	by dmg on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 09:58:39 AM PST

	Gun misuse is almost non-existent compared to what you hear about in the US. What kind of $3 crack are you smoking dude ? The less habitable suburbs of our cities aren't bristling with crackhouses. I am afraid I have to correct you yet again Mr Budlite. In England people who listen to heavy metal don't go round schools with a gun and shoot their classmates. Perhaps they don't but it is surely just a matter of time. I suspect that you need to travel a bit mr Budlite, broaden your horizons. Drag your ill-informed ass away from the phosphorescent glow of the computer monitor in your school or college lab. Maybe then you will realise that your complacency and superiority complex about the UK is severely unwarranted. time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration. -- MC Hawking

	Well, well, well. (none / 0) (#29)
	by walwyn on Sun Mar 17th, 2002 at 05:41:28 PM PST

	Whilst the UK imprisons 120 per 100,000 of its inhabitants compared the USA's 700 per 100,000. The USA still leads; the UK has a bit to go. For a population of 600,000 a 400 kilo crack seizure is no mean feat. Sad to say Mr Budlite may have a point concerning the rampant drug use in the USA. The UK also has a bit of catching up on gun related deaths of children.

	Also (none / 0) (#19)
	by Right Hand Man on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 09:58:55 AM PST

	Your government takes advantage of you in all sorts of ways that we in the US wouldn't stand. They feel safe in pushing you around because you allowed them to disarm you, all in the name of 'safety'. ------------------------- "Keep your bible open and your powder dry."

	individual responsibility is the real question (none / 0) (#20)
	by foon on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 11:18:48 AM PST

	Behind all your clever words your ulterior motive shines through. You are an abuser of CCA yourself and couldn't give a damn about the damage you and your kind are causing to American youth. This is pure and utter distortion. I have only used it sporadically, when I was going through a time of great emotional pain. I have never exposed any innocent children to it, and through the strength of my Christian faith and my loving family, I have triumphed over the temptations of this nefarious substance. The salient point that you have missed with the "free market" suggestion for controlling CCA is that the vast majority of Americans are trusting, generous people who cannot be expected to maintain continual vigilence against the criminals who bring this stuff into the country. This is the same argument that is used to advance other unconstitutional regulation of the free market. Its no different than saying that people are "addicted" to tobacco against their will, and don't choose it because of the cool, clean flavor. Its no different than saying that Microsoft software is preferred by customers only because of Microsoft's "monopoly", and "anti-competitive" behavior (which in liberalese means "producing a superior product for a lower price"), and not because of the superior quality and ease of use that one gets with microsoft software. The fact is that the American way of life is based around the concept of individual responsibility, and it is essential that the question of which products are available to individuals are left to individual choice and free markets. This system has worked for 200 years, despite the best efforts of the government to "protect" us.

	I am glad to hear that (none / 0) (#27)
	by Anonymous Reader on Sun Mar 17th, 2002 at 05:24:33 PM PST

	I have never exposed any innocent children to it, and through the strength of my Christian faith and my loving family, I have triumphed over the temptations of this nefarious substance. My apologies, I was not aware that you have already begun the long trek back to decency. Congratulations. I assume that as a Christian you have recognised your societal obligation and assisted the local law enforcement officers in eradicating this threat to our way of life? I realise that CCA is not properly illegal in all states, but I imagine the constabulary will find a way to deal with that. As our government has pointed out, we are essentially dealing with terrorists here. Moving on, of course people are not addicted to tobacco against their will. Tobacco is a legitimate, healthy American product and is also very important to the economy. Similarly, the wonderful software produced by the fine men and woment at Microsoft has been a boon to honest society. CCA, on the other hand, is more akin to a cancer devouring the very principles on which the free market stands. If you developed a cancer would you respect the rights of the cancerous cells to corrupt the remainder of your body? Again, good luck with your re-integration into society.

	bring back bayer heroin (none / 0) (#34)
	by Anonymous Reader on Thu Mar 28th, 2002 at 09:21:06 AM PST

	ya know they used to sell it by brand name

	Its like the supposed "dangers" of MMR v (none / 0) (#22)
	by PotatoError on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 01:17:18 PM PST

	All made-up liberal lies and statistic distortion. <<JUMP! POGO POGO POGO BOUNCE! POGO POGO POGO>>

	Hey Ma, get off the roof! (none / 0) (#24)
	by Anonymous Reader on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 11:29:12 PM PST

	Yeah, things like DDT and aspestos. Perfectly safe! And who cares if there's a little Uranium in the water supply? Evilusion aint true, neither is mutation, so you don't have to worry about being turned into a monkey. And anyways it will all just roll off the edge of the world sooner or later. God will give us new water and new fish! It's not possible to 'overfish'! And when will that faggoty liberal media stop trying to convince us that DDT will turn us into monkeys? Huh? It's laughable! Before you know it Jane Goodall will be showing up on our porches demanding that we bathe and hug trees and set free that 'endangered animal' we're gonna have for dinner tonight! I'm not worried. Spike and bubba will rip her throat out long before she gets near my gun collection. They can smell them liberal queers from a mile off. That's right, MILES not metricals you Europesian devils! My boy come home the other day from a visit to the government supported devil-worshiping atheist school and mentioned something about killing a meteor. Well I tell you I whipped that boy good with the hardest Bible I had for 3 hours yesiree-bob! I'll never let the devil make a monkey outta him! I follow the life of good old great-great-grandpapa Adam.

	You Vegecidal Maniac!!! (5.00 / 1) (#23)
	by Anonymous Reader on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 10:24:13 PM PST

	Why is nobody here brave enough to confront the blatant anti-vegetable bias in liberal environmentalist circles? Many of them are vegetarians. They're not vegetarians because they like animals, they're vegetarians because THEY HATE PLANTS!!! I hear about the deleterious effects of CCA on members of the animal kingdom, but nowhere is the slaughter of innocent plants that is the basis for its very use ever discussed. Also, Microsoft and Blizzard hate plants too. I'm sure of it. In games like Age of Empire 2 and Warcraft 2 your progress actually depends on murduring helpless trees while you are absurdly rewarded for creating armies of predators. Victory hinges on killing off other predators, but it is really the trees who suffer! The winner of battle is usually he who butchers the most autotrophs. The whole enterprise reeks of a heterotrophic conspiracy. Even the fringes of vocal dissent show no qualms about furthering the vile paper trade. WHEN WILL JUSTICE BE DONE?!?!

	Ah hah hah I love this site. (none / 0) (#25)
	by Anonymous Reader on Sun Mar 17th, 2002 at 11:51:53 AM PST

	This site is so hilarious with its articles. Microsoft is quality? Hah hah hah.. that's hilarious. Open Source software is Open Racism. Another hilarious article. I loooooove it.

	I could not agree more... (none / 0) (#26)
	by Anonymous Reader on Sun Mar 17th, 2002 at 12:12:26 PM PST

	This page has lately become the first thing I look at when I log on, since things i read here always make me laugh out loud... We have a saying; "Laughter is half of one's health." If that is true, this page is without doubt responsible for increasing my life-span. Sincere thanks, and keep up the good work! Yours truly, J.R.

	Your ignorance is underwhelming (none / 0) (#28)
	by Anonymous Reader on Sun Mar 17th, 2002 at 05:32:12 PM PST

	Suspend your cynicism and you may learn something here. For example, I recently learned to spell the word cynicism.

	i as well... (none / 0) (#31)
	by astrix on Mon Mar 18th, 2002 at 11:00:27 AM PST

	have learned the true value of proper spelling and grammar. go back to slashdot you insufferable twit. "Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty" --Thomas Jefferson

	Sorry... (none / 0) (#33)
	by Anonymous Reader on Tue Mar 19th, 2002 at 03:32:49 PM PST

	That post was really not meant to offend anyone, that's not my style. But the fact is, that many (I'd like to say most, but I haven't been here long enough...) "articles" on this page are... hilarious... If you want me to argue the point just say, and i'll explain what i meant (won't bother if you're not interested). Expecting your reply. (Didn't know that "cynicism" thing myself... We learn all the time, I guess) And what did you mean by "slashdot"? J.R.

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