I believe that most people will agree with me when I say that murder is wrong. However, few people adhere to this principle. I'm sure it has occurred to you that eating meat is murder, whether you are a vegetarian or not. The idea has probably crossed your mind, as the vegetarians themselves have impressed it upon you. However, nobody ever seems to discuss the plants and bacteria that we slay every day. Truly we cannot allow such a travesty to continue.

Scientists say that plants have no feeling (because they have no "nerves")- so taking a fruit or vegetable off of a plant won't kill them and it will not hurt. However, science has also "proven" that the Earth is round, the planets (including the Earth) revolve around the Sun, and women are equal to men (which will be discussed later). Plants may be able to experience pain- we do not know since we have never been plants ourselves. Although there is doubt, we should err on the side of caution- for plants are creatures of God just like any lifeform. You will burn in Hell if you destroy one of God's creations. If that doesn't scare you, heathen, then think about this. Fruits are a plant's ovaries. How would you like your reproductive organs ripped from your body? Sure- they are unnecessary, but I'm sure you would want them around for your sinful practices. The bottom line is: although you cannot hear them scream, plants could be in pain from the torture that farmers put them through.

But how would we survive without plants and animals to eat? It is really quite simple. There are several food products that are not and have not ever been alive. Although eggs have the potential for life, if they are not fertilized they can be harvested. Dairy products are also available to us, as that would not kill anything in the process. However, we must discontinue the barbaric practice of pasteurization. For every human life it saves, it kills millions of bacteria. The rest of our diet can be covered by synthetic foods (such as anything from Macdonald's) and supplementary vitamins.

And if you are a true "pro-lifer" you should stop bathing. People kill millions of bacteria every day by showering and bathing, and worse yet they use soap. This "soap" is sold as a cleansing liquid, but it does anything but cleanse. It causes the wholesale slaughter of bacteria by the millions each day- per person. Of course, one may argue that a foul odor would result if we were to stop bathing. And it is true that the odor would become quite unbearable, but after a period of time you would not even notice the foul smell. And while we are on the subject, we can forget brushing teeth as well. Besides, with the advent of dentures tooth brushing has become all but obsolete.

And as much as we want to, we cannot kill those household "pests." God put them here for a reason- to test mankind. They are God's reminders that all living things deserve to live, no matter how humble. Cockroaches and mosquitoes were put on Earth before mankind. If anything, they should be killing us for taking over their land. But they have been patient, and even though they could overwhelm us in numbers they have not done so yet.

Of course, the next logical step in all of this is to make abortion illegal. It is clearly murder at no matter what stage, as a fertilized egg is a life. Now, many people who don't believe in abortion believe that it still should be a woman's choice. But this notion is so outrageous it makes me burst into tears laughing. Women have enough to worry about taking care of the house and their children. Their brains would overheat from such a complicated issue as abortion. Their emotions would take over, since there is little actual intelligence in the female mind, and they would probably opt for murder because their primitive minds just don't know any better.

Some people believe that abortions should be allowed if the mother will die without one. Having an abortion to save your own life is like making a pact with the Devil. In fact, if you have an abortion you are sacrificing the child to Satan damning both you and the child to eternal Hellfire. But if you pass up on the abortion, and you have been a good Christian, you will walk with God in the Kingdom of Heaven alongside your child. "Do nothing out of selfishness or out of vainglory; rather, humbly regard others as more important than yourself (Philippians 2, 7-10)."

Lastly, all antibiotics, soaps and salves shall not be used. God made bacteria to help mankind. Is it a coincidence that overpopulation of the world occurred as soon as we started slaying bacteria? Disease is meant to keep mankind in check. The world can only hold so many people, and we cannot hope to save all of them. We should let God decide who must stay and who must go, and so the only healing that should be allowed is prayer. That is the only true healing. Since we have made abortion illegal, all of the fatalities that result will be replaced.

Perhaps if we all followed my ideal mankind could be saved. However, at the current rate we are going the entire world is going to Hell in a handbasket. I implore you to write to your local Congressperson and get laws such as these approved. In fact, I sent a letter, myself. I have also suggested, and rightfully so, that anyone who breaches these laws shall be put to death. As that is what God would want. Amen.