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A stereotypical and horrendously overgeneralized rant. Written by a girl.
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For my very first diary entry I thought I'd just do some stream of consciousness on why boys are, in general, better than girls. I thought of making this a full-on article, but then realized I'd have to make cogent points, and back them up with research and lots of fancy web links, and all that crap. And to be honest, who has the time, effort and brainpower for that?
OK, some people do. The rest of us have to get back to work soon. Boys are better than girls because they are physically stronger. When I was younger I harbored dreams of being able to beat up all the boys who bothered me, but that only worked until they went through puberty and got bigger. I have now realized that the only way I'll ever be able to beat up boys anymore is to take lots of steroids and become a female body builder. But this also takes time and effort, and I would have to take time off from work. Boys are better than girls because their thought processes are refreshingly direct and simple. If a boy sees an attractive girl, he thinks, "Wow, what a hottie. Wonder if she'll have sex with me?" If a girl sees an attractive boy, she thinks, "Wow, what a hottie. Wonder if he'll treat me well and take me on romantic dates? And look longingly into my eyes and write me poetry? But wait...what if he's a jerk? What if all he wants from me is sex and then he'll tell all his friends and stop returning my calls? Yeah. And then he'll break up with me and say that he just wants to be friends, and..." You get the picture. This difference in thought processes may be inherent or socially engendered, but does it really matter? It's there. Finally, boys are better than girls because they don't have to freeze their butt cheeks off if they have to pee somewhere outside, miles from any bathroom.
Maybe next time I'll write about why dogs are better than cats.
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