While examining my server logs, I was most alarmed to discover several attempts to attack my innovative (and COMPLETELY NEW) website. Fortunately, I am using quality Microsoft products to deliver this site to the internet (though I had no real choice, since Microsoft products are the only ones offering the modern technologies necessary to handle the cutting-edge content).
Thanks to Microsoft, not only do I have a complete record of these bizarre hacking attempts (using tools with such insidious names as "konqueror" and "mozilla"), but the offending persons (no doubt LSD-crazed antisocial teens) were deflected from even accessing the site at all.
I just wish to publicly thank Mr. Bill Gates and Microsoft for saving my innovative (and COMPLETELY NEW) website from the clutches of these vile criminals.