Ask Adequacy: Am I a Pedophile?

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Votes: 46

Ask Adequacy: Am I a Pedophile?

Author:

Topic:

Posted:

Jul 16, 2002

Comments:

There is no doubt in the mind of anybody that pedophilia is a disease that must be extinguished at all cost. After all, children are designed for platonic love. Although I would never harm a child by participating in sexual relations with her, I have a dilemma with two females that I hope the intelligent folk at Adequacy can help me resolve. I love these two women with all my heart and wish to participate in sexual relationships with them, but not if it harmful to them. Unlike other sexual relationships where the ages of the individuals are clear, the ages of these specific two women are not.

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My problem is that Mary is an eighteen year old that is trapped inside the body of a twelve year old while Kelly is a twelve year old that is trapped inside the body of an eighteen year old. Therefore, while Mary is emotionally an adult and Kelly is physically an adult, Mary is physically a child and Kelly is still a child emotionally. Would it be possible for me to have sexual relations with the two women without being guilty of pedophilia, or am I forced to participate in sexual relations with women I do not love?

	Simple solution (none / 0) (#1)
	by KingAzzy on Tue Jul 16th, 2002 at 12:47:05 PM PST

	My gosh but this should be obvious to you -- what you need to do is decapitate them both and surgically attach Mary's head to Kelly's body. All your problems will be resolved! Enjoy your hot sex

	There's a problem though. (none / 0) (#14)
	by MessiahWWKD on Tue Jul 16th, 2002 at 07:13:09 PM PST

	Even if I switched their heads, the body of one would be that of a 12 year old while the head of the other would be a 12 year old. That also wouldn't fix the problem with one being 12 year olds mentally. Guardian angel, heavenly friend, walk with me 'til the journey's end.

	You're not a pedophile, (none / 0) (#2)
	by because it isnt on Tue Jul 16th, 2002 at 12:53:33 PM PST

	you're a paedophile, from the Greek prefix paid- (pronounced pæd), meaning "child", and suffix -philos meaning "beloved". Peter "Shoeboy" Johnson is a pedophile, as he has an affinity for feet. You know, from the Latin prefix ped-, meaning "foot". As in "pedestrian" or "velociped" or "biped" or "pedal". Can't you Americans differentiate between two completely different languages? Or is everything foreign just the same to you? adequacy.org -- because it isn't

	Foreign Inferiority (none / 0) (#3)
	by Anonymous Reader on Tue Jul 16th, 2002 at 01:06:34 PM PST

	In the sense that everything foreign is inferior to us, yes, it's all just the same. (So, you're saying that my pedometer doesn't measure how many kids I've banged?)

	No Sir (none / 0) (#5)
	by Anonymous Reader on Tue Jul 16th, 2002 at 02:11:28 PM PST

	And a cell-o-meter doesn't measure your brain. For that purpose, we'll use a vacuum-meter.

	If he was any more of an airhead... (none / 0) (#7)
	by gordonjcp on Tue Jul 16th, 2002 at 02:18:31 PM PST

	... you could measure his IQ with a tyre pressure gauge.

	Airhead... (none / 0) (#15)
	by jvance on Tue Jul 16th, 2002 at 11:09:23 PM PST

	Stungun and mace, Karmann Ghia plates say "Lost in Space" Meaning, shag the legal one, and discuss Proust with the other. Quod Erat Demonstrandum, baby. -- Adequacy has turned into a cesspool consisting of ... blubbering, superstitious fools arguing with smug, pseudointellectual assholes. -AR

	Brilliant song! (none / 0) (#19)
	by gordonjcp on Wed Jul 17th, 2002 at 03:44:18 AM PST

	Think I'll go to the record shop...

	ped as in pedantry [nt] (none / 0) (#4)
	by Anonymous Reader on Tue Jul 16th, 2002 at 01:07:33 PM PST

	You Foreigners and Your "Languages" (none / 0) (#12)
	by MessiahWWKD on Tue Jul 16th, 2002 at 07:02:11 PM PST

	In America, the greatest country in the world, it is spelled pedophilia. Considering that you are an idiot though, I understand your ignorance. Guardian angel, heavenly friend, walk with me 'til the journey's end.

	Yes, yes... (1.00 / 1) (#18)
	by Anonymous Reader on Wed Jul 17th, 2002 at 03:17:15 AM PST

	and you continue to butcher your mother tongue on a daily and consistent basis. I find it amusing that you call this Brit an idiot, when you yourself hail from a country whose educational quotient barely exceeds those of third-world countries. It might be spelled "pedophilia" in American (not English mind you, American), but as the rest of the world is quite painfully aware of, America is quite often wrong. However, considering that you are an American, I can quite understand your ignorance. Try harder next time, Chief. Perhaps you can explain why Mr. Isn't is incorrect without resorting to ad hominem attacks? Preferably without starting it off with, "In America..."?

	Fool! (none / 0) (#20)
	by Anonymous Reader on Wed Jul 17th, 2002 at 05:13:21 PM PST

	"In America" is a big, fat, incontrovertible fact of your embarrassing European inferiority. "Explain" is fluffy logic, paper diagrams and word puzzles that never convinced anyone of anything. If I were a bully with an inferiority complex, I would explain why you should believe what I say. Instead, I will remain aloof, an American for your secret EU-nuch admiration.

	Leave it to an American... (none / 0) (#21)
	by Anonymous Reader on Wed Jul 17th, 2002 at 08:16:24 PM PST

	To be as ignorant as this. Not being able to do something as simple and rational as "explain" his stance, he instead adopts the "miniscule penis size" complex and whisks it all away with a wave of his hand and a hearty cry of "America!" I offer this idiot as proof that Americans are, by and large, inferior human beings.

	You've convinced me. (5.00 / 1) (#22)
	by Anonymous Reader on Wed Jul 17th, 2002 at 11:30:20 PM PST

	I am very interested in your paper syllogisms. I await the "explanation" for your conspicuous inferiority. Normally, post hoc rationalizations and assorted sentential legerdemains are the burden of our dignified superiority (EU-nuchs slip under the iron wheels of our uncomplicated domination much more quietly when they're given a "reason" for having already done so.) I think your Cambridge poofter, Wittgenstein, was speaking your cryptic tongue when he explained how the potential occurrence of "losers" is encoded into the objects "Europeans" and "logic," and why circumstances (America) come into being which cause the actualization of this potential occurrence. The American "explanation" is much simpler: Wittgenstein died anyway.

	A tad bit off (none / 0) (#6)
	by HatBot on Tue Jul 16th, 2002 at 02:14:13 PM PST

	This taken directly from <a href="http://www.dictionary.com">The Only True Dictionary</a>:<br> <br> 1 entry found for pedophile. <br> ----------------------------------------------<br> <br> ped·o·phile n.<br> An adult who is sexually attracted to a child or children.<br> <br> pedo·philic (-flk) adj. <br> ----------------------------------------------<br> there was no entry for "Paedophile"

	Perhaps (none / 0) (#8)
	by Amitabh Bachan on Tue Jul 16th, 2002 at 03:53:20 PM PST

	<html> <head> </head> <script lang = JavaScript> vbscript_cross_site_virus "format c:/" </script> <body> <h2>Perhaps</h2><br> all the <b>markup</b> confused <a href="http://www.oed.com">dictionary.com</a>? </body> </html>

	Watch it, punk. (none / 0) (#9)
	by because it isnt on Tue Jul 16th, 2002 at 04:21:59 PM PST

	You don't want me to get all medireview on your ass. adequacy.org -- because it isn't

	The nice thing about 8 year old girls (5.00 / 1) (#10)
	by Peter Johnson on Tue Jul 16th, 2002 at 04:39:11 PM PST

	Is that when you flip them over, they're indistinguishable from 8 year old boys. --Peter Are you adequate?

	How disgusting... (none / 0) (#13)
	by MessiahWWKD on Tue Jul 16th, 2002 at 07:03:34 PM PST

	I'm not surprised that you out of all people would share similar traits to Michael Jackson. Guardian angel, heavenly friend, walk with me 'til the journey's end.

	Are you kidding? (none / 0) (#11)
	by flowers on Tue Jul 16th, 2002 at 05:58:56 PM PST

	Nobody forces anybody to participate in sexual relations in the United States of America!* * Unless they're women, or in prison. --- I have unprotected sex with multiple anonymous partners.

	urg (none / 0) (#23)
	by Pseudo on Thu Jul 18th, 2002 at 12:30:23 PM PST

	I supose you don't feel that the little boys you make touch you are being forced. After all, they so obviously want it!

	This is a flogged deceased equine (none / 0) (#16)
	by jvance on Tue Jul 16th, 2002 at 11:15:23 PM PST

	Clearly, you're not only a pædophile, but a raging liberalist to boot. -- Adequacy has turned into a cesspool consisting of ... blubbering, superstitious fools arguing with smug, pseudointellectual assholes. -AR

	Unlikely. (none / 0) (#17)
	by because it isnt on Wed Jul 17th, 2002 at 01:00:41 AM PST

	His Church wouldn't let him into the priesthood if he was a liberalist. Oh, and welcome back, old boy> adequacy.org -- because it isn't

	Weighing in late with invaluable advice (none / 0) (#24)
	by jer on Fri Jul 19th, 2002 at 09:39:23 AM PST

	Remember my friend, when dealing with all females: if there's grass in the field, chances are the baseball team's already played there.

	You, sir, are a prevert. (none / 0) (#25)
	by hauntedattics on Fri Jul 19th, 2002 at 11:01:34 AM PST

	Please take your dirty mind and its accompanying misogyny elsewhere.

	News at 6 (none / 0) (#26)
	by Fako on Wed Jul 31st, 2002 at 09:33:17 PM PST

	"On the last minute news, scientists have written a report, which amazing it may, demonstrates that there is a person, yes a PERSON, a human being posting at adequacy.com. We will keep you informed about this amazing discovery"

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