Well, I remember how when I first met her, I thought she was just the cat's meow (for lack of a better term), and I remember shortly after asking her out on a date with me. She said "yes" of course, since no human female can resist my inherent charm and good looks, and she went out to dinner with me a couple times and everything was great. Or so I thought. Little did I know that she was fucking just about every guy that came across her path during this period (everyone except me, I guess). Yea, she was a dirty ol' whore. And my first girlfriend.

Jep, so I suppose y'all can guess how this story ended. We've kinda remained friends over the years, but I don't think I'd ever seriously consider getting into a relationship with her again. If yer reading this Alaina, FUCK YOU, you heartless bitch.

Anyhow, we went out for a snack at a local fast food joint and caught up on a few things (she's dating a 34 year old Canadian now, too, so you just know something's wrong with her little head), and then we went our own ways, making promises to keep in touch (hahaha!).

On another note, I thought it was rather interesting to find out that one of our readers/writers was a musical artist. Good luck with your release, TheReverand! Troublemint sounds like a real winner. (On an extremely unrelated note, hey Sara, when the fuck am I gonna hear some of the music you made? It's pretty hard for me to believe you were in any bands if you have no evidence to back up your statements.)