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 We Licke Icke

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Feb 15, 2002
David Icke, the philosopher and journalist, has had a pretty difficult time getting a fair hearing from the crowd of feckless alcoholics, tiresome careerists and second-rate hacks who call themselves the "mainstream media" these days. During the rare moments when the New York Times or the London Guardian can tear themselves away from writing about reality TV shows or Mariah Carey, they've spent the last year telling us that Icke is some kind of "loony" "wacko" or "conspiracy theorist". Of course, the fact that the mainstream press is prepared to condemn somebody out of hand without ever giving specific citations to his work, is exactly the sort of thing that makes us here at think that there might be something to his writings after all. So we did a bit of digging into David's published oeuvre, with our characteristic open mind, and ended up liking what we found.

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Let's get two things straight right from the outset:
  1. David Icke believes that the plant Earth is ruled, for the most part, by Annunaki lizards from the fourth dimension. The most important political and business leaders of the world are either half-breed human lizards, White Martians or full-blooded lizards temporarily living in human form. The lizards have unimaginable occult power compared to us, but are unable to cope with the vibrations of human love. So, as a result, they have attempted to create a world in which humans are brainwashed and trapped into the patterns of negative emotions (chiefly anger and fear) which provide the kind of vibrations that sustain the lizards. It's important at this stage to point out that, so far as we can tell, Icke believes this literally and non-metaphorically. When he talks about lizards, he's referring to Annunaki inhabitants of the fourth dimension, or about other lizard species from nearby dimensions. He's not using "code words" to talk about Jews, freemasons or basically anyone who isn't a lizard or lizard halfbreed.
  2. We, the editorial and executive staff of, do not believe that the earth is ruled by Annunaki lizards from the fourth dimension. We basically don't believe in Annunaki lizards at all. We don't think that the cosmogony described in Icke's books makes sense, we think that his use of the word "dimension" is usually incoherent and self-contradictory, and we think that a few suggestive carvings and pieces of jewellery is damn poor evidence for believing that lizard spaceships landed in the time of Rameses and have dominated the world through the Masons ever since.
Given 1) and 2), we can see how people might be forgiven for asking why, never usually notorious for giving a fair hearing to people who disagree with us, are so keen on David Icke. Well, when you think about it, it's not so unreasonable after all. Because when you read Icke's books (memo to our friends at the Globe and Mail: "read" in this context means "read", not "read a summary of a review of and then proceed to slag off"), there's a lot of good sense in them. Consider, the following:
  • David Icke believes that the former US President George Herschel Walker Bush is a lizard and a drug dealer.
  • The Washington Post believes that former US President George Herschel Walker Bush is not a lizard, and not a drug dealer.
  • believes that former US President George Herschel Walker Bush is not a lizard, but is a drug dealer.
So, it appears that we disagree with Icke on the subject of whether Bush was a lizard, and with the Post on the subject of whether Bush was a heroin pusher. And the fact is that, while it's more or less impossible to prove one way or the other whether Bush is an Annunaki lizard from the fourth dimension, it's very easy indeed to show that Bush was the head of the CIA during the period in which Air America was carrying opium by the ton from Burma and Laos to the heroin labs of Hong Kong and Saigon, from whence it was sold to American GIs. So it appears that David Icke makes a claim that is pretty difficult to believe, with not much evidence in favour of it, while the Washington Post is asking us to believe something in the face of a vast amount of conclusive contradictory evidence. Furthermore, while Icke's organisation is supported almost entirely in the free market by selling books and videos to the public, the Washington Post is bankrolled partly by the CIA, and partly by the Reunification Church of the Reverend Sun Myung Moon, a bona fide cult.

Just exactly who's the loony here, mates? The fact is that the mainstream media do this all the time. There are all sorts of people who believe in things far more bizarre than anything David Icke wants to foist on us - Tony Blair believes that the MMR vaccine has no connection with autism, Richard Dawkins believes that everything we do is determined by our DNA, and Ann Coulter believes that George W Bush won the election in Florida. But they don't get pilloried in the newspapers in the way that David Icke does for merely bringing up the possibility that a group of people who act all the time as if they were cold-blooded power-mad reptiles who thrive on creating fear and hostility, might actually be cold-blooded power-mad reptiles who thrive on creating fear and hostility.

So, we're going to try and redress the balance. Over the next few weeks on, we're going to be running a few articles on the subject of David Icke's theories of cosmogony and global politics, plus as many copious plugs for his books and videos as we can. If we can get an interview with him, we'll run it, unedited. Obviously, this isn't quite as good for him as if the New York Times decided to play fair and respect some of its much-vaunted standards of objectivity and fairness in a case when they might actually prove controversial, rather than just using them to blow off following up indymedia tips. But it's a start. The rehabilitation begins here. We Licke Icke.


son of a bitch! (2.50 / 2) (#5)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Feb 15th, 2002 at 01:45:13 PM PST
Kill my post, would you? I smite thee.

Sorry, sir, (none / 0) (#22)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Feb 18th, 2002 at 05:41:25 AM PST
on this site, cries of censorship are only permitted from freethinkers trying to expose the Illuminati conspiracy. Everyone else better get used to being brutally oppressed.

MMR (none / 0) (#6)
by walwyn on Fri Feb 15th, 2002 at 02:23:43 PM PST
Would that be Measles, Mumps, and Rubella.

MMR isnt linked to autism at all (none / 0) (#11)
by PotatoError on Fri Feb 15th, 2002 at 09:31:56 PM PST
The statistics show that it isnt linked.

All children diagnosed with autism are diagnosed at around the same age regardless of whether they have had the vacination. Unfortunately MMR vacinations seem to be done just before average diagnosis time and therefore it is easy to wrongfully link autism to MMR vacinations.

Read this for the scientific fact

Some have doubts (none / 0) (#14)
by walwyn on Sat Feb 16th, 2002 at 11:48:28 AM PST
However, the National Autism Society says jab away.

NO. (none / 0) (#26)
by derek3000 on Tue Feb 19th, 2002 at 08:57:42 AM PST
MMR means more rock. 93.3 WMMR, Philadelphia's classic rock station.

"Feel me when I bring it!" --Gay Jamie

Leave Ann Coulter out of this (5.00 / 2) (#7)
by donkpunch on Fri Feb 15th, 2002 at 02:29:00 PM PST
I realize the Adequacy staff is above-average in attractiveness and at least a dozen am-i-hot-or-not points ahead of any other discussion community.

But Ann Coulter could out-gorgeous any three of you with both arms tied to the headboard. Come to think of it, tying both her arms to the headboard would pretty much whip the whole staff.

And, speaking of whips... oh, never mind.

You rang? (none / 0) (#10)
by RobotSlave on Fri Feb 15th, 2002 at 07:16:40 PM PST
I don't believe we had an appointment. May I help you?

© 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

Guys: (5.00 / 3) (#9)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Feb 15th, 2002 at 06:41:25 PM PST
I am so glad you posted this article, just in time too.

I was reading here and I got the answer to a question that had been bugging me for a while. Last week I was eating a bowl of Fruit Loops. I'm sitting there, eating, and my dog looks up at me and, I swear, says "brightest beacon". Plain as day! At the time I though to myself, "What did you pour on these Fruit Loops?", or maybe I thought about the mushrooms I had eaten the night before, I don't really remember.

Anyway, now I know the scoop. Before this I had no idea that my dog was really a lizard man from outer space who was participating in a global conspiracy to control the world (for no aparrent reason). Don't worry though, I bashed the fuckers head in with an aluminum baseball bat, then microwaved the corpse on High for about 12 minutes. I don't think even a lizard dog could survive that one.

Attn: Agent Cheney (none / 0) (#16)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Feb 16th, 2002 at 10:41:53 PM PST
Agent Raymond assures me that his sophisticated Lu-nix computational device operating system will steganographically encrypt this message so that it will appear as nothing more than an inoccuous rant to anyone other than you or I. I have no patience for the workings of computational devices and so am taking him at his word, nothwithstanding his many past failures.

To the matter at hand: I call your attention to the above post. It seems our suspicions have been confirmed, and the recent death of one of ourmost valued dog-agents was indeed a result of the humans having discovered his true nature. It seems the human who terminated Agent Kibbles was able to discern his true identity through the use of psychedelic mushrooms.

This in turn gives you additional basis for going ahead with your plans to step up the "war on drugs" program in the United States human federal government. I have every confidence in your strategy to associate the war on drugs with the present "war on terrorism" which I and my cell appear to have effectively touched off (excuse my self-congratulation, it is cold in this cave, and I need a little cheer). I await your reply.

-All our love and breath for Annunaki-
-Agent Omar

Not just harmless fun (3.33 / 3) (#12)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Feb 16th, 2002 at 12:10:55 AM PST
Conspiracy theorists are not just harmless weirdos who exist for the amusement of oh-so-sophisticated weblog junkies. The need to find the hidden order to everything is a symptom of a legitimate personality disorder. Individuals like David Ickes need therapy and counseling in order to live lives that are not bizarre, stunted parodies of a developed, fulfilling human existence.

It is not enough simply to say that Ickes' beliefs vaguely resemble a realistic viewpoint. A person who sees 4th dimensional lizards as the sinister force controlling world events is in thrall to his own delusions. Such a person is incapable of making rational decisions based on facts, and is therefore not in any way qualified to weigh in on matters of any import, however much the phantasia of his nightmares may be interpreted into politically correct truths.

The mentally infirm are not oracles tapped into some deeper human wisdom, nor are they cavorting sideshow geeks who exist to entertain. They are suffering human beings. One of the most damaging "free market" reforms of the Reagan era was the releasing of thousands of previously institutionalized mental patients in a "laissez-faire" effort to obtain cheap labor for fast-food and custodial work: a disastrous move that resulted in an epidemic of homelessness. Today it is almost impossible to have someone, even a person as far gone as David Ickes forcibly confined to a mental hospital, even if it is plain that the individual desperately needs help. I urge those reading this to support all legislation Lo, Venus rides high on the green evening sky: th'worms in it's third instar, eh? Soon, *SOON* she'll crack the skin and come craaaaaaaawwwwllling MABEL!!!! DADDY NEEDS HIS VITAMIN C SHOT! Its the vitamin C you see, keeps the Sasquatch (really telepathic Neanderthal men, trooly) from controlling my mitochondriaaaaa 2[]$9838 84*)9409 5jtir ef 9ur~94jf9 ej^hf94ut94

Remember, consider the source. (5.00 / 1) (#13)
by dmg on Sat Feb 16th, 2002 at 10:09:39 AM PST
Please consider the source when you read any comments which appear critical of David Icke. It may well be that there are forces out there who wish to silence him, or ridicule him in order to prevent his version of the Truth from gaining wider credibility.

Remember, not everything is as it appears.

time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration.
-- MC Hawking

Interestingly enough... (none / 0) (#21)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Feb 18th, 2002 at 04:17:17 AM PST
most of the comments I read that are supportive of David Icke's views, come from David Icke himself, in his books. Now there's a conspiracy.

Read between the lines. (5.00 / 1) (#25)
by dmg on Mon Feb 18th, 2002 at 11:34:13 AM PST
Icke is putting forward some pretty out-there ideas. Indeed, some have compared him to Noam Chomsky. The old adage 'there's no smoke without fire' was never more appropriate.

You would have to be living in a cave in the desert not to realise that there is something strange going on in the world today. Recent developments in M-theory lend credence to the idea of extra-dimensional reptiles (at least as a possiblilty).

Think about it, if the world really is ruled secretly by 12-foot reptiles from the lower fourth dimension, wouldn't they do everything they could to prevent the truth becoming mainstream ? History has taught us that riducule is more effective than oppression when it comes to paradigm-shifting ideas like Icke's.

I think the powers that be have thought very carefully about the issue of Mr Icke, and are taking a calculated risk that the majority of people will find his world view far too outlandish to be credible.

But remember, in the old days we thought the Earth was flat and that the Sun revolved around it.

Being open minded does not mean you accept every piece of political nonsense or junk science that comes your way. However it does mean that you should consider all the evidence and make up your own mind.

time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration.
-- MC Hawking

Who? (none / 0) (#15)
by jvance on Sat Feb 16th, 2002 at 04:27:54 PM PST
Oh, you mean George Marcus Allen Bush.

Adequacy has turned into a cesspool consisting of ... blubbering, superstitious fools arguing with smug, pseudointellectual assholes. -AR

Oh, let the controvesy begin! (none / 0) (#17)
by Wiggy on Sun Feb 17th, 2002 at 09:59:05 AM PST
OK. David Icke. Interesting topic. Below I'm quoting from a piece from the Guardian newspaper reviewing a book written by a guy who follows around extremists (the original piece on Jon Ronson's book can be found here if you are interested but as we're only interested in one part that is why I quote it here).

Ever since he appeared at a press conference in 1991, dressed in a turquoise shell suit announcing that he was on a mission to save the world from destruction, the popular view of David Icke is that he is psychically damaged and needs urgent help - medical help, psychiatric help, home help, any kind of help. After that announcement, as Icke issued more and more apocalyptic warnings, pausing only to inform Terry Wogan and a national television audience that he was indeed 'the son of God', the former BBC sports presenter became the most ridiculed man in the country, a national joke.

Since then Icke has been working restlessly to reinvent himself as a 'New Age' thinker, a fearless pursuer of truth and batty believer that the world is ruled by a global cabal called the 'Illumaniti', descended from extraterrestrials, who long ago assumed human form and infiltrated some of the world's Úlite families, including the Bushes and the Windsors (which perhaps explains the plight of poor old Sophie Wessex).

And that's the point. Icke will never be taken seriously. I remeber the night he appeared on Wogan and proclaimed himself the Son of God. The best part went something like this:

Wogan: Well, this must have come as a bit of a shock to you, at the age of 30 to wake up one morning and suddenly realise you're the Messiah?
Icke: Well, yes it was really...
Audience break up into fits of laughter
Icke: ... quite a shock to say the least

There are several claims in the public domain that the show was edited to make him look insane and that pieces were cut where he talked about us all being the Sons of God (difficult, as I recall Wogan being a live show), and it's true that since then he has desperately tried distancing himself from that interview. I've even seen interviews with him where he admits he wasn't at all "well" on that evening.

As to whether he has anything interesting to say? Well, maybe he does. Of course, the ideas of lizard men coming down to take over the World is completely ridiculous (and strangely rather similar to this summary of the beliefs of the Church of Scientology), but I think most people would argue that his statements around the actions of individuals (including the cited George Bush/CIA/Drugs question) do hold some truth in them. I think if you want to argue that he should be taken seriously, then that's your choice. Personally, I would rather somebody more serious and respected came up with some proof and challenged those concerned in as non-confrontational and balanced manner as possible. Extremeists running around telling people everybody successful is evil gains no credibility for the few facts they have that may be accurate.

But! (none / 0) (#18)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Feb 17th, 2002 at 01:33:35 PM PST
If lizard men do come down and take over the earth, I assume you will apologize to Mr. Ickes?

oh yeh. "reputations" (none / 0) (#19)
by jsm on Sun Feb 17th, 2002 at 05:02:02 PM PST
Personally, I would rather somebody more serious and respected came up with some proof

Well, with respect mate, you'd have been smoking yourself to death between 1930 and 1975, waiting for someone "serious and respected" to let you in on the connection between cigarettes and lung cancer.

... the worst tempered and least consistent of the editors
... now also Legal department and general counsel,

Indeed. Crackpots should tell us instead. (none / 0) (#20)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Feb 18th, 2002 at 03:45:39 AM PST
Cigarettes, when burned, are taken as a sacrifice by the evil mauve morolian dancers from outer space. By attracting the morolians to your body, they will feast upon it and cause cancer within your lungs.
I am not a crackpot. There is a vendetta against me by members of the liberalist elite.
Please buy my book.

that 's a great book! (none / 0) (#23)
by Mr Somebody on Mon Feb 18th, 2002 at 06:01:47 AM PST
I saw the tv show & read the book, both fantastic!
David Icke's a bit of a national treasure. Of course he's a bit nutty, but he's entertaining! In fact, thinking about it, didn't a certain Jesus mix radial politics with the wacky notion of being the son of god? It's a good trick if you can pull it off. And quite a career jump from being a sports presenter! Maybe in a couple of hundred years we'll all be Ickians. I personally look forward to it, especially that fine Scandinavian styling mmmmm! Those temples will look great.

about aliens and world domination (none / 0) (#24)
by Juan Fernandez on Mon Feb 18th, 2002 at 11:10:35 AM PST
Aliens DO exist. They are indeed trying to dominate the world. These two facts appear to be beyond any reasonable doubt for me. I've seen it with my very own eyes. No mushrooms or LSD.
I'll give you a proof: here in Madrid (Europe, not South America) there use to be lots of restaurants were you could enjoy tasty, healthful, traditional spanish food. Now those places are rare and difficult to find. They have been replaced by awful alien places. In these new and strange restaurants you can easily guess that the staff you can see (those serving you the so-called "food") are a bunch of hollow-skull, abduced poor former human beings. Back in the kitchen you can hear strange sounds and smell even more strange fragances, both of them scary and suspicius. Once you get your meal, it's a mere question of not being blind to realize that the meat is not from this planet. As a rule of thumb, those creepy places try to hide their origin, but i manage to find one of them where the aliens were either bold enough not to be afraid about the human race discovering their invassion or somewhat damaged in their organism by our atmosphere in a way that made them behave forgetting the more basic rules of stealth. In either case the thing is that those crazy aliens were showing the name of their planet in really hugue letters on the front door: "Planet Hollywood"

David Icke says (none / 0) (#27)
by Mr Somebody on Wed Feb 20th, 2002 at 05:19:37 AM PST
that with the rise of republicanism, the lizard men moved into politics, and that all the American president's genetic lineage can be traced back to European aristocrats. Gore lost, apparently, because he had less royal blood coursing through his veins. I think Icke was claiming that Dubya's lineage can be traced back all the way to Emperor Charlemaigne, born 747 AD!
Can this be true? Is Jimmy Carter really the Prince of Peanuts?

Long lineages (none / 0) (#28)
by phenocryst on Fri Mar 8th, 2002 at 06:33:16 PM PST
Yes, it probably is true. Then again, so can mine.

My personal suspicion is this: that, since the ruling families of Europe have thoroughly interbred since at least Charlemagne's time, and since the aristocratic and non-aristocratic classes in Europe have not been kept genetically separate (unlike, say, the castes of India), then everyone in Europe, and therefore the New World, is descended from ancient rulers such as Charlemagne and Alexander the Great.

The result of this is that a) Icke's genealogical charts do not prove a genetic conspiracy, and b) the modern obsession with tracing one's ancestry back in the vain hope of discovering aristocratic blood is rather pointless.

But as I said, this is not a theory, merely a suspicion. I am not an anthropologist. I have not read any papers expounding this idea. I would be interested if someone could direct me to any though.


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