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Poll
the bus habit for me:
stink 0%
drool 0%
massage hamburgers 14%
throw up 14%
apply hairspray and nail polish 0%
carve initials 14%
lose gum in seatmate's crotch 14%
solicit for greenpeace 28%
keep asking why they're laughing at me 14%
knit 0%

Votes: 7

 Am I getting old?

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Feb 05, 2002
 Comments:
I'm sitting quietly on the bus trying to read a single page of my new book of Mark Strand, when an icky boy with a massive backpack boards and rams his rump into the seat next to me. His friend politely notes, "duude, you're squashing her, dude", and he responds something like, "uhhf, duh" and doesn't move, well, except to shift around now and then, doing 180s in his seat, heaving his heap past my face. Then they talk loudly about what a violent day it's been and how they've let out enough violence to last a year. What luck. Meanwhile the people in front of me are licking each other's tonsils. And the guy across the aisle is loudly mentioning every movie he's ever seen Nicole Kidman in, and how transformative her appearance is. He has also seen movies with Tom Hanks and Jack Black. What a curse to be normal! Mabye I could be the stinky one.
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uhhf, duuh (none / 0) (#2)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Feb 5th, 2002 at 01:40:14 AM PST
This is JUST like I said, I get VIOLENCE directed at me everywhere I go! You think I was TRYING to squash you? It's not my fault I gotta carry all those stupid books! THEY want me to learn THEIR HISTORY and THEIR LITERATURE and THEIR TRIGONOMETRY, but what about my generation? How am I supposed to learn with all this VIOLENCE directed at me?!?

It's like I said, everyone's trying to TAKE ME DOWN. You don't understand, because you're probably like TWENTY-TWO years old! You're practically THIRTY! And here I am, minding my own business, and I got people directing their hostility at me! It's like my man Fred Durst says, sometimes I just wanna BREAK STUFF!

OKAY?!? So next time you find yourself directing your VIOLENCE to a member of MY GENERATION, remember that person is a HUMAN too, and probably trying to deal with all the people trying to TAKE HIM DOWN. Let me just leave you with some lyrics from a song by P.O.D.. This song really means a lot to me, and if you read the words, you'll see what I'm talking about:
We are, We are, the youth of the nation
We are, We are, the youth of the nation
We are, We are, the youth of the nation
We are, We are, the youth of the nation
So true.


Quick question: (none / 0) (#3)
by tkatchev on Tue Feb 5th, 2002 at 01:55:33 AM PST
What is "P.O.D."?


--
Peace and much love...




 
Nope, no books. (5.00 / 1) (#13)
by poltroon on Tue Feb 5th, 2002 at 08:26:05 AM PST
You're mistaken. You weren't trudging around with stacks of books. Your backpack was stuffed with soft fluffy things, like all of your clothes because you're aspiring to live under a bridge.


 
Yes you are too old. (none / 0) (#4)
by dmg on Tue Feb 5th, 2002 at 05:22:53 AM PST
To be travelling by bus.

time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration.
-- MC Hawking

At exactly what age (none / 0) (#10)
by chloedancer on Tue Feb 5th, 2002 at 07:43:13 AM PST
is one "too old" to do this? Just curious.


I gave up busses the moment I learned to drive. (none / 0) (#14)
by dmg on Tue Feb 5th, 2002 at 09:26:18 AM PST
When I was 17. A long long time ago.

time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration.
-- MC Hawking

In my town... (5.00 / 1) (#15)
by poltroon on Tue Feb 5th, 2002 at 10:40:41 AM PST
with the traffic being as stagnant and putrid as it is, the act of driving is proof of lunacy. So, at least on the bus there's a small chance of encountering some sane people.


public transportation (none / 0) (#20)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Feb 5th, 2002 at 01:11:04 PM PST
Spoken like a true communist!


 
the act of driving is proof of lunacy. (none / 0) (#21)
by dmg on Tue Feb 5th, 2002 at 02:08:01 PM PST
How so ? The bus travels in the same traffic, so will take the same amount of time. Plus you have to mix with all kinds of undesirable elements from gang-bangers to kids, to homeless people to insane people. The bus likely does not go exactly where you want it to, and probably does not arrive immediately you need to get in.

It does not have luxurious leather seats a 10-speaker bose stereo and do 0-60mph in under 7 seconds.

And thats before we've even started on the poor 'dating potential' of using such a plebian mode of transport.

time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration.
-- MC Hawking

actually, (5.00 / 1) (#22)
by poltroon on Tue Feb 5th, 2002 at 03:50:47 PM PST
the bus does go where I want it to and doesn't travel in the same traffic as everyone else. It goes in a tunnel under the city. And by riding the bus there's no parking problem, which would be incredibly annoying and expensive downtown, which is where I go.


Bus / Train confusion ? (none / 0) (#25)
by dmg on Wed Feb 6th, 2002 at 07:31:40 AM PST
the bus does go where I want it to and doesn't travel in the same traffic as everyone else. It goes in a tunnel under the city

Sounds more like a train to me!

time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration.
-- MC Hawking

There is a reason... (none / 0) (#26)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Feb 6th, 2002 at 10:20:49 AM PST
that bus drivers are permitted to fire anti-tank rockets at any cars in bus lanes.

It's because they're bus lanes. They are not, and never will be car lanes. They are there for buses to drive past gridlocked one-person-one-car madness. You might like to asphyxiate yourself with carbon monoxide and low level ozone, but other people don't.

The average speed of road traffic in rush-hour London is 5 mph. You can walk faster than that.


 
Naw, (5.00 / 1) (#27)
by poltroon on Wed Feb 6th, 2002 at 08:24:37 PM PST
In this silly city there is a bus tunnel. There's another tunnel for trains, you're right, but they're the kind you'd have to hop, and you'd just pop out on the other side of the city.


 
The act of driving is proof of lunacy (none / 0) (#28)
by wumingzi on Sat Feb 9th, 2002 at 04:03:06 PM PST
And thats before we've even started on the poor 'dating potential' of using such a plebian mode of transport.

Should I interpret that as "I can't get dates based on looks. I can't get them based on my personality, so I have to fall back on having a bitchen' Hot Wheels car."?

I think I will.

You deserve to have a $50,000 hole carved in your pocket, suckah!

(yes, I own a car. No, it's not the center of my psychosexual persona, thank you very much.)


 
simple (none / 0) (#17)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Feb 5th, 2002 at 11:07:23 AM PST
When the bus driver insists on adult fare, it's time to abandon the Bus, Metro, Walk for a BMW. Of course, it's a free country, you dont have to become a mature respected adult if childish wrinkles and happy poverty suits you.


 
how would you suggest... (5.00 / 1) (#11)
by poltroon on Tue Feb 5th, 2002 at 08:03:08 AM PST
that I travel?
<P>
You think maybe I've graduated to walking or even biking by now?


 
Yes. (none / 0) (#5)
by hauntedattics on Tue Feb 5th, 2002 at 06:14:18 AM PST
Yes, you are getting old, as are we all, second by second, hour by hour, day by day...well, you get the picture.

And someday those icky boys will be insurance executives, or tech helpdesk monitors, or 7-11 clerks, and they'll be stuck on the bus with giant-backpacked kids at least 5 years younger than they are complaining about all the 'old people.'

In the meantime, though, do you wear clunky-heeled boots? Good weapons to 'accidentally' step on that lovely someone's Sketchers...




 
Character studies (none / 0) (#6)
by chloedancer on Tue Feb 5th, 2002 at 07:02:09 AM PST
I've learned to simply watch others, feeling no need to compare my lot in life with what I see by and large. Had an extraordinary people-watching day a while back... my favorites were:

  • the three-year girl who met everyone's gaze with absolutely no fear and genuine curiosity (a marvel in and of itself),

  • a 50ish man with a grin that made my knees weak, clear topaz-blue eyes and irrepressible, unapologetic, long curly silver hair (a magic man, that one, very comfortable with himself and quite sexy, really), and my favorite...

  • a 40-something balding man with glasses (rather average in all discernable respects) carrying a teddy bear as if it were a shield, tucked in the crook of his arm as he made his way resolutely down the street -- the metaphor of protecting one's heart with a stuffed animal has played in my mind ever since.

    The "mores" of what's considered to be at least behavior change around us constantly, 'tis true. I remember, once upon a time, Metro published a cute pamphlet that spelled it all out. My favorite was "K is for... kissing, which is permitted while riding Metro, however, eating, drinking and disturbing other riders are not."

    As to whether or not you're getting old, that I can't answer, but I offer this for consideration instead: you haven't tuned the world out or let it pass you by -- that should count for something, should it not?


  • Gasp. (none / 0) (#7)
    by tkatchev on Tue Feb 5th, 2002 at 07:07:08 AM PST
    Quoth:

    the three-year girl who met everyone's gaze with absolutely no fear and genuine curiosity (a marvel in and of itself)

    Jesus Christ, I'd hate to find out where you live... I feel sorry for you.


    --
    Peace and much love...




    Welcome to the Emerald City (none / 0) (#9)
    by chloedancer on Tue Feb 5th, 2002 at 07:30:10 AM PST
    There causal factor for the negatives in what I'd described isn't the social climate in this neck of the woods creating conditions one might fear; instead, it's the way I see most children being raised around me (to believe that the world is dangerous, that everyone else is suspect, that the perfect child is a minature version of a "proper" adult, etc.). Even the adults around here rarely meet each other's gaze in the street or smile at one another without feeling an awkward twinge, by my observation. Such parents would have, undoubtedly, scolded the child in question for not minding her own business or for drawing attention to herself.

    The damage is more wide-spread than I'd alluded to, tkatchev. I'm fortunate enough to be immune, as Shoeboy can bear witness (he watches me regularly connect with strangers in a way that has given him cause to marvel). But you're right, it is sad -- regardless of whatever reason. And I stay where I am to play a part in the antidote, with any luck.


     
    The other day... (5.00 / 1) (#12)
    by poltroon on Tue Feb 5th, 2002 at 08:18:33 AM PST
    I heard a voice: "what's so FUNNY??", and then realized some girls were giggling somewhere behind me. So I connected these, assumed a teenaged boy must be sitting near them. Maybe they really were giggling at him. He kept asking and then claiming "fine, laugh. see if I care!" Then after several minutes I realized he was the blind man with the cowering, grey poodle at the front of the bus, talking out into space, looking pissed off, and the girls hadn't noticed him.


     
    bad bus (none / 0) (#8)
    by PotatoError on Tue Feb 5th, 2002 at 07:16:22 AM PST
    next time strap up with C4 and then watch how much respect you'll suddenly get from your fellow passengers.
    <<JUMP! POGO POGO POGO BOUNCE! POGO POGO POGO>>

     
    The Bus (none / 0) (#16)
    by First Incision on Tue Feb 5th, 2002 at 10:59:42 AM PST
    I always read people's descriptions of interesting people on public transportation. Maybe I have only ridden in the wrong city. I ride only rarely (when there's somewhere I need to go farther into town, or I'm having car trouble) but most of the people I have seen are much less interesting than those you would see in KMart or at McDonalds.
    _
    _
    Do you suffer from late-night hacking? Ask your doctor about Protonix.

    Freaky bus rides. (5.00 / 1) (#18)
    by poltroon on Tue Feb 5th, 2002 at 11:54:25 AM PST
    It's all about finding the right slice of the city to ride through, or you could just ride greyhound, which is always sure to be full of freaks. As you've apparently discovered, on most buses people are catatonic, as they should be - they're on their way to visit a computer in a padded box. Any buses which intersect the gay district are the best bet for freak encounters.


    Innocent question. (none / 0) (#19)
    by tkatchev on Tue Feb 5th, 2002 at 12:57:14 PM PST
    Where do you live?


    --
    Peace and much love...




     
    Pizza! (5.00 / 2) (#23)
    by First Incision on Tue Feb 5th, 2002 at 10:10:14 PM PST
    This "slice of the city" was right under my nose. I don't know why I didn't think of it. This thread even inspired me to go there tonight.

    CiCi's Pizza This cheap, efficient, tasty all-you-can-eat feeding trough brings in all sorts of people. My favorite examples:

    A bunch Democrats on election day, wearing Gore/Liberman shirts, eating dinner after the polls closed.

    Various youth sports teams

    Hindus taking the meat pizza off of their children's plates

    Fraternity brothers with pizza stacked one foot high.

    Street gangs with pizza stacked one foot high.

    That Mexican dad, who ate too much and threw up outside, much to the amusement of his children. (I have come close to this point myself)

    Culinary students in chef's outfits

    Today, I saw something different. A surly teenager was talking back to his blind dad. You are so used to people showing the utmost kindness to the disabled, that it seemed a bit odd.

    Anyway, I like CiCi's. At about 7pm, you will see about 5 ethnic groups, and probably hear about 3 or 4 languages. It makes me feel so American. United We Stand around cheap all-you-can-eat pizza, or something to that effect.
    _
    _
    Do you suffer from late-night hacking? Ask your doctor about Protonix.

     
    The River (none / 0) (#24)
    by Orinoco on Tue Feb 5th, 2002 at 10:46:29 PM PST
    Pol, you are not too old. You are the perfect age.


     

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