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Firstly, yes, I'm still leaving adequacy forever and I stand by my word that my last post was my last one.
Now then, things have taken a turn for the worse and I fear my job at the nuclear rocket science lab is in jeapordy, and I fear I may in some trouble with the long arm of the law. Thus, against my better judgement, I am asking you to help me. It will certainly be worth your while, I give you my personal guarantee on that. Now then. |
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It all happened so fast and it's really just a big misunderstanding, but alas I'm in a fair bit of hot water at the moment. Ahem.
I had gotten into the office a little late and after I unlocked the door to my spacious office I felt the need to throwup. I must have had some bad vodka for breakfast, or something, as usually I don't puke until afternoon. Well anyways, I rushed off to the public restrooms where I normally don't go, and as my vision was slightly blurred, I stumbled into the ladies room, purely per chance. Well, it was an emergency and all, so that alone should not be a real big deal. Except, I rushed to the first stall and just as I opened the door I started to propel vomit at a high rate of speed, aimed directly towads the toilet. This is the start of my real problems. The stall wasn't empty. Yep. Honest error, to be sure, but the young lass didn't seem to care. She went running out, along with three other ladies who happened to be washing up at the time. Again, just bad luck on my part. Well, it turns out that after I was done throwing up and cleaning up, I tried to leave the lavoratory, and the door was locked from the outside. Yep, someone had locked me in. I knew then that things weren't going my way. About 10 minuites later a group of rather unfriendly police type chaps burst into the room and started asking me questions about what I was doing in the ladies room and they wanted to know about the large stash of drugs in my desk. It turns out after the police figured out who I was they searched my office. Standard proceudre I suppose. Heh. I always keep a jar of speed in one of my desk drawers and I had just gotten in a shipment of pure 100% white jackal from Istanbul, so I had a fresh supply. Again, just bad luck on my part. Well, they thought I must be dealing the drugs since it was a rather large supply and wouldn't listen to the fact that I just like to eat a lot of speed. How the fuck do they think I get through the day? Morons. So, to make a long story short, I'm on forced leave from work and I'm looking at a possible financial strain on my funds. What with legal bills and possible fines and the like. Thus, I need your help. For some time now I've been mailing home to myself, one piece at a time, parts from the new SS20SQL MeteorXL rocket that we just finished up. Thus, I have a fully functional rocket in my basement which I am selling on ebay for 10,000,000 as we speak. I already have three bids on it from Ivan Thacheskvi so it looks like it will sell with no problems. The problem I have is that the feds have frozen my bank funds so I can't transfer the money into my account. So, I am offering anyone who will help me, a sum of 2,000,000, if you will simply provide me with your bank account number and any bank routing information, so that I may use your account as a temporary holding place for my funds. Please, I ask you this favor in the strictest of confidence. Plese simply email your bank information to sylvester_mcnamera@rocketscientists.org and I will have the 2 million dollars routed, anonymously of course, directly into your account at the end of the ebay auction. Thank you for your help. |