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Poll
Given the choice, would you be...
male 22%
female 13%
androgynous 2%
asexual 2%
a force of nature 25%
deified, sanctified and immortalized 33%

Votes: 36

 Why I enjoy being a girl

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Mar 14, 2002
 Comments:
Life has been rather demanding as of late. To amuse myself I've been making lists, essentially counting my blessings. Sure, it's little more than cheap entertainment at best, but hey, anything to get through the grind is good enough for me.
diaries

More diaries by chloedancer
State of mind
It delights yet dishevels me...
Your possible pasts
A troll worthy of muse status, believe it or not...
Hating the idiocy that is my job today...
Paradigm Shift
State of Mind Redux
Divination al? Peanuts
Relational Dissonance
The universe is speaking to me...
Hard Truths
Got my escape route planned...
Impending Career Change
El Dia de Los Muertos
I am so completely enamored
Home for the holidays? No! Send my body home!
Harrison's Last Laugh
Dare ya, osm! Here's your chance to prove your devotion!
My little brother, Jem
A Beautiful Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste
Anthem
Reality Check
  • In circumstances of need, I can use a men's restroom without fear of arrest for indecency or perversion.

  • The "Napoleon Complex" does not apply to petite, strong women.

  • No matter what my HWP status, someone somewhere will find something about my physical appearance to be appealing.

  • I can wear a man's dress shirt anytime or boxer shorts as around-home lounge wear and know that I will be perceived as being "irresistably cute" instead of being labeled as a "cross-dressing deviant."

  • When I decide to go cruisin' to "get lucky," my odds of success are far greater than those of any man I've ever met.

  • I can enjoy multiple orgasms at an interval measured in minutes without being subjected to that pesky "refractory phase" time-out.

    All things considered, life is sweet.

  •        
    Tweet

    I have some other ones for you. (5.00 / 1) (#1)
    by tkatchev on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 08:32:54 AM PST
    How about some more for you:

    1. You'll never get drafted and killed fighting a Country of Evil.
    2. There is a much lower chance of you getting thrown in jail and raped with a broomstick.
    3. You'll live much longer on average -- in some places, as much as 10 or 15 years longer.
    4. Etc, I'm too bored to go on and on...



    --
    Peace and much love...




     
    or how about... (none / 0) (#2)
    by derek3000 on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 08:45:05 AM PST
    how you've managed to avoid the whole "equal rights, equal fights" thing for so long.

    I've never seen a guy slap a girl for saying something obnoxious to him.


    ----------------
    "Feel me when I bring it!" --Gay Jamie

    Equal fights. (none / 0) (#13)
    by hauntedattics on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 02:53:23 PM PST
    I've never seen a guy slap a girl for saying something obnoxious to him.

    No, but some of 'em do knock their chicks around if the bathroom isn't clean, or if they got home late from work, or if they're psychotically possessive.

    On a similar topic, glad to see you are changing your signature. How 'bout something positive?




    yeah but... (none / 0) (#16)
    by nathan on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 04:24:05 PM PST
    Men who hit women, at all, are universally mocked, despised, and denigrated. Women hit men all the time in popular entertainment, and it's OK because a slap is not a beating.

    This is a more nuanced issue than it's been presented as being.

    Nathan
    --
    Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

    You are right. (none / 0) (#18)
    by hauntedattics on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 06:14:44 PM PST
    Double standards abound in our culture, I'm afraid, and I don't think any one sex/ethnic group/etc. can claim a monopoly.



     
    You're both right. (none / 0) (#19)
    by derek3000 on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 06:36:00 PM PST
    "Equal rights, equal fights" was a saying I heard over the weekend that I found kind of funny. But both of you do see my point, even if the saying is oversimplified.


    ----------------
    "Feel me when I bring it!" --Gay Jamie

     
    Yeah... (none / 0) (#26)
    by derek3000 on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 06:39:41 AM PST
    I didn't mean for the "bitches get stitches" thing to come across like that. It's definitely not about women. I thought it was funny because of the macho posturing.


    ----------------
    "Feel me when I bring it!" --Gay Jamie

     
    I like being a man. (5.00 / 2) (#3)
    by because it isnt on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 08:51:43 AM PST
    Being a woman is pretty damn fine, all things considered, but there are advantages to being a man, too!
    • The joy of simply walking down the street. There are bound to be plenty of good looking women walking down the street as well, and their only purpose is being there for you to stare at. If that's not good enough for you, you can run home and turn on the TV. It's full of pretty little things, too!
    • Breasts! Instead of being either disappointingly small or back-achingly large cancer inducing sacs that inevitably drop below the knees in time, to a man these are permanent sources of joy.
    • Health! You will never get postnatal depression, or PMT, or PMS. It will never be "rag week" for you! You will never be "up the duff" through your careless sexual exploits!
    • The Old Boy Network: it's yours to use. No glass ceilings for you, buddy!
    • You never have to shave your legs, or your armpits, or your groin (unless you really want to). Hours of agonizing pain saved.
    • A haircut costs $10 - $20. Not $60+. Money in your pocket!
    • Similarly, your cosmetics budget is non-existant. Unlike a woman, you will not be laughed and sneered at for not wearing makeup.
    • Perverts! They don't frighten you, because you are one!
    • High heels! Sure, you can't wear them (except at weekends), but that's actually good news. You can walk back home late at night down dark streets, safe in the knowledge that not only will you not be heard a mile away, but if you decide to leg it from danger, you will not fall over and snap your foot off.
    • Electrical appliances! These don't confuse the hell out of you! You can actually fix them if they go wrong!
    • Relationships! Sure, you will be eternally confused as to what's going on in a woman's brain, but you can be happy in the knowledge that you will never actually care!
    So, while being a woman is great and all that, being a man has its good points too.
    adequacy.org -- because it isn't

     
    I'll say it now (2.50 / 4) (#4)
    by Anonymous Reader on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 10:26:14 AM PST
    to nip things in the bud.

    SHUT THE HELL UP.

    It was nice with you not around.


    you asked for it dumbass (-) (none / 0) (#5)
    by tkatchev on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 10:44:51 AM PST
    nt


    --
    Peace and much love...




     
    orgasmatron (none / 0) (#6)
    by nathan on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 12:10:49 PM PST
    Don't be so quick to adopt the prevailing models, chloedancer. "Multiple orgasms" belong in Cosmopolitan, not in any freethinking person's personal models of sexuality.

    All best,
    Nathan
    --
    Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

    Heh. (none / 0) (#7)
    by The Mad Scientist on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 12:49:19 PM PST
    "Multiple orgasms" belong in Cosmopolitan, not in any freethinking person's personal models of sexuality.

    Easy to say, when you can't have any! :)


    nuts to you (none / 0) (#8)
    by nathan on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 01:06:55 PM PST
    Who says I can't?

    Nathan
    --
    Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

    Unusual. (none / 0) (#10)
    by The Mad Scientist on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 01:38:42 PM PST
    Who says I can't?

    For a male, multiple orgasms are unusual thing. There are reportedly some tantric techniques for that, but I lack any experimental data to confirm or deny their usability and reliability.


    hmm. (none / 0) (#11)
    by nathan on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 01:46:56 PM PST
    I lack any experimental data...

    I don't.

    Nathan
    --
    Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

    Just wait until you get older (none / 0) (#12)
    by jvance on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 01:59:51 PM PST
    and you can only manage 2 or 3 orgasms before you lose your erection. Sometimes you wonder if life's still worth living.
    --
    Adequacy has turned into a cesspool consisting of ... blubbering, superstitious fools arguing with smug, pseudointellectual assholes. -AR

     
    They're wasteful in men (none / 0) (#9)
    by Adam Rightmann on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 01:36:01 PM PST
    Sperm cells need time to mature, coitus more frequent than once every other day can even impede fertility.


    A. Rightmann

    Wasteful? (none / 0) (#14)
    by The Mad Scientist on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 03:22:03 PM PST
    If it brings pleasure, can it still be considered wasteful?

    According to what I know, the majority of sexual acts is done with pleasuer in mind, fertility comes (no pun intended) distant second.


     
    Some things never change... (5.00 / 1) (#17)
    by chloedancer on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 06:01:00 PM PST
    Ah, Nathan, in your oh-so-predictable rush to demonstrate your knee-jerk response to my musings, you failed to discern the truly crucial content of that point, which was:
    ...without being subjected to that pesky "refractory phase" time-out
    (and not the phrase "multiple orgasms"). I never inferred that men are incapable of experiencing multiple orgasms, nor did I cite this as the ultimate in sexual models; I merely stated that women aren't bound by the same laws of nature that include a post-orgasm refractory period. Take issue with this all you want; it's of little consequence to me.

    First you accuse me of wasting time watching "Sex in the City"; now you've managed to convince yourself that "Cosmo" is part of my monthly media repertoire... Suffice it to say that neither hold any sway in my self-determination, but I'm beginning to wonder about you, truth be known.


    hey, Chloe... (none / 0) (#20)
    by nathan on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 06:54:50 PM PST
    You are the one who failed to get what I was talking about.

    Refractory period, my fine ass. It's totally unnecessary for the serious recreational-sex enthusiast.

    Nathan
    --
    Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

    Hey, Nathan... (none / 0) (#28)
    by chloedancer on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 07:18:55 AM PST
    No, darling, I did comprehend what you were implying... it's just that I chose not to believe, considering the source and medical findings to the contrary. C'est la vie.


    c'est la vie? (none / 0) (#29)
    by nathan on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 07:25:13 AM PST
    You call me a liar to my face and then say, "that's life?!"

    Nathan
    --
    Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

    a gift for you nathan, (none / 0) (#32)
    by Anonymous Reader on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 07:43:17 AM PST
    i have solved the problem of having to read this person's pretentious crap, which is always punctuated with chic french phrases. all you need to do is follow these five easy steps:

    1)get a yellow sticky note.

    2)cut it so that it is the same height as a line of text in your browser.

    3)write "pretentious tripe" on the cut-off strip.

    4)any time you see a non-english section of text in a colonicdancer post, affix the sticky note over it.

    5)enjoy!

    hope you find this as useful as i have.


    Steps to success in life. (none / 0) (#33)
    by tkatchev on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 07:46:44 AM PST
    Step one: The word "I" is capitalized.

    Thank you for your consideration.


    --
    Peace and much love...




    i'm sorry, (5.00 / 1) (#36)
    by Anonymous Reader on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 07:53:21 AM PST
    did you say something? i can't read your comment through this yellow sticky note.


    Step two. (none / 0) (#37)
    by tkatchev on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 07:59:19 AM PST
    Step two in success in life is learning to wash yourself. The problem that you can achive step two only after you successfully passed step one, which can be a serious problem for some people.

    Step three is learning to read, though that may be beyound the capabilities and attention spans of some people. Do not despair, though -- with perseverance and good will, even the dumbest retard can reach stage four. (Step four is knowing to keep your mouth shut if you have nothing to contribute.)


    --
    Peace and much love...




    Step Four (none / 0) (#42)
    by Anonymous Reader on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 10:47:21 AM PST
    Yes, and of course being a grammar Nazi (oops, I lose), then proceeding to hurl completely non-sensical insults certainly adds a lot to a conversation.

    -akumu-


    But there is a difference. (5.00 / 1) (#44)
    by tkatchev on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 11:17:07 AM PST
    You see, the difference is that you're a loser, and I'm not.

    Have a nice and productive day. I look forward to engaging in discussion with you again in the future.


    --
    Peace and much love...




    a hit! (none / 0) (#49)
    by Anonymous Reader on Sat Mar 16th, 2002 at 03:30:49 AM PST
    Oh ho, cutting right to the quick, aren't we? A loser? This was the cruelest cut of all!

    Well, actually, no it wasn't. It was in reality rather pathetic. If all the flamers here on Adequacy were such easily brushed-aside pompous jack-asses, things would be a lot more pleasant. So here's to you, tkatchev, you pillar of intellectual debate!

    -akumu-


     
    is that (2.50 / 2) (#43)
    by Anonymous Reader on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 11:07:40 AM PST
    the best you can pull out of your stinking asshole? now, i know why you forgot step 5: acquire a sense of humor.


     
    On the advice of my attourney (none / 0) (#15)
    by Peter Johnson on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 03:39:38 PM PST
    I will not be commenting in this diary.

    That is all.
    --Peter
    Are you adequate?

    I must say I'm disappointed. (none / 0) (#25)
    by because it isnt on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 06:32:19 AM PST
    I was hoping you'd pontificate on the wider and more exciting ranges of footwear that women are entitled to purchase.
    adequacy.org -- because it isn't

     
    Showing my ignorance(?) (none / 0) (#21)
    by Ernest Bludger on Thu Mar 14th, 2002 at 08:26:14 PM PST
    What does someone's "HWP status" refer to? Google went unusually crazy when I tried to check, which was itself interesting. Then laziness kicked in (see my nick). I'm guessing based on context that it's something closer to Height Weight Profile* than how many Hewlett-Packard shares you own.

    * Hey look, two consecutive breaches of the "i before e except after c 'rule'".


    Height (and) Weight Proportionate (none / 0) (#22)
    by Anonymous Reader on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 04:00:42 AM PST
    Next time, try Acronym Finder.


    HWP (none / 0) (#24)
    by hauntedattics on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 05:41:37 AM PST
    Yep, and I'm not sure that Ms. Dancer is right about this point...



    I'm surprised, hauntedattics... (none / 0) (#30)
    by chloedancer on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 07:29:18 AM PST
    Don't you have at least one attractive feature or trait that doesn't change, regardless of your dress size?

    For me, my eyes and my laugh are two such assets that will always be exempt from the HWP yardstick; I'd suspect that your sense of mirth would certainly qualify, based on what little is known via this realm.


    To be sure, (none / 0) (#38)
    by tkatchev on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 08:01:42 AM PST
    once you pass a certain stage in life, dating becomes irrelevant. At least in the sense that most Americans put into the word.

    The point is that once you become old enough to be "unsexy", you simply won't care anymore.


    --
    Peace and much love...




    Well, (none / 0) (#47)
    by hauntedattics on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 02:07:27 PM PST
    given my current marital status, dating is irrelevant for me these days. And even if I got divorced or if (God forbid) something happened to my husband, I doubt that I would 'date' again in the sense that tkatchev is talking about.

    My point about HWP only indicates my own fears of gaining weight and is probably a direct result of my younger days in the ballet world. But I wouldn't doubt that there are others out there who share those feelings, prejudiced and wrong as they may be.



     
    You forgot the rest (none / 0) (#23)
    by Anonymous Reader on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 04:30:47 AM PST
    I before e, except after c
    Or sounding like a as in neighbour or weigh

    -akumu-
    "She wanted equality, I gave her equality" -Ghost Dog


    OK, so... (none / 0) (#35)
    by doofus on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 07:51:51 AM PST
    how does "height" fit into this "rule?"


    Or, in fact, "science" (none / 0) (#39)
    by because it isnt on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 08:02:05 AM PST
    Let's face it, the "i before e except after c" rule is completely useless. Stick with "thirty days hath September" or "every good boy deserves fruit".
    adequacy.org -- because it isn't

    There are weird exceptions [nt] (none / 0) (#40)
    by jvance on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 09:51:44 AM PST

    --
    Adequacy has turned into a cesspool consisting of ... blubbering, superstitious fools arguing with smug, pseudointellectual assholes. -AR

     
    It doesn't (none / 0) (#41)
    by Anonymous Reader on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 10:42:50 AM PST
    But that makes one exception, not two.

    -akumu-


     
    Optimism is fine (5.00 / 2) (#27)
    by Anonymous Reader on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 07:17:20 AM PST
    if you don't mind being a deluded ass. I prefer to look at things realistically:

    The older you get, the more likely it is that others in the restroom are younger than you.

    Petite, strong women will always get hit on by lesbians.

    No matter what your HWP status, scores of people everywhere will look at you and think "She's no Eva Habermann."

    The sight of you running around in boxer shorts or anything else will evoke cries of disgust from tasteful people who aren't in to shriveled, pale and freckled old women.

    Anybody who cruises around dark, heroin-junkie-infested alleys in Seattle would be able to "get lucky" in exchange for a thimble-full of opiates.

    If you had an orgasm within a ten mile radius of me, I would immediately sterilize the area with bleach and, if at all possible, radiation.

    All things considered would make more sense if you took your fucking lithium. -osm (too fucking lazy to login and i don't give a shit anyway. damnit)


    Jesus Christ. (none / 0) (#31)
    by derek3000 on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 07:42:20 AM PST
    Could you find it in your heart to write and equally scathing assesment of me? That was too funny for words.


    ----------------
    "Feel me when I bring it!" --Gay Jamie

    It was? (1.00 / 1) (#34)
    by tkatchev on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 07:48:32 AM PST
    If you say so.


    --
    Peace and much love...




     
    no kidding <> (none / 0) (#48)
    by Anonymous Reader on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 03:42:33 PM PST



     
    Question (none / 0) (#45)
    by jvance on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 11:30:51 AM PST
    According to these "medical experts" is it possible to have a refractory stage without a resolution stage? Because in my younger days, before my life filled with obligations and lovemaking sessions could last the weekend, I regularly went through several hours of fucking and perhaps a half dozen ejaculations without losing my erection.

    The downside to all this was literally rubbing oneself and one's partner raw, after her natural lubrication ran out.
    --
    Adequacy has turned into a cesspool consisting of ... blubbering, superstitious fools arguing with smug, pseudointellectual assholes. -AR

    forget it, j (none / 0) (#46)
    by nathan on Fri Mar 15th, 2002 at 01:49:46 PM PST
    She was just calling bullshit on me without citing sources. It looks as though that Cosmo thing was really not well-taken at all.

    Nathan
    --
    Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

     

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