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hey listen up you, don't be a goddamned fool. you have got to get your money's worth here. this bitch caused you some serious pain, 55 fuckin pounds worth. she had you running up and down the street like a goddamned monkey for months on end. she's given you a borderline eating disorder, and reduced you from a fun-loving man's man to a sweater-obsessed teetotaller.
it's time for torture. here's what I'd do:
start a romance and do all that you can to accelerate it. be everything she's ever wished for in a man. you want her to feel comfortable and secure in the fact that she has found her soulmate. tell her you see your unborn children in her eyes, shit like that.
now if you succeed in making her love you enough, you should be able to push her sexually as hard as you can. push the envelope, always seeking more and greater experiences. wheedle and beg, but be subtle. if she lets you go all the way, push for further. if you can get her to bark like a dog while you're doing it, get a real dog in there. share her with your friends, share her with strangers (just make sure you wear a condom to spare yourself), but always push for more, never resting, the dirtier the better.
and while that will be fun, it won't be enough. simultaneously you must also do everything in your power to make her gain weight!
take her out to dinner, order for her, always produce fatty snacks & sweets for her to eat. whenever you can, increase the fat and calorie content of her food. eat more if you must to keep the game going, but you'll have to increase your workouts, because it's crucial that you don't gain a pound. in fact, ideally you will lose a few pounds.
with enough effort on your part, you should easily be able to add a good thirty pounds onto that bitch and knock that 7 or 8 ass down to a nauseating lumpy 4.
so then there you are with a dirty overweight girlfriend, so what do you do?
why, you laugh, you point, you call her fat, you call her dirty, and you dump her. then you strut away into the sunset, happy in the knowledge that you have ruined an her.
now go get er, cowboy
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