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 Thomas Kinkade: Insensitive Capitalist Bastard

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Nov 23, 2001
 Comments:

Two seperate people brought the same hideous Thomas Kinkade print into our shop today. Upon seeing the unwrapped one, I hissed and shrank back, then when I got close enough to actually read the print at the bottom of the piece, I saw his name on it. I didn't recognize it immediately because it wasn't a painting of a Hellfire engorged woodland cottage, but someone I instinctively knew his work was somewhere near me. The hair stood up on the back of my neck. And my intuition was right!

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This one was a sappily and poorly rendered American flag, flapping in the wind, seemingly floating somewhere in that harbour next to New York. I say "floating" because you could see all of New York in the background and it wasn't readily apparent what the flagpole was attached to. The flag looked more like it had been slept in, trampled on, and then covered in lint, than the smooth appearance typically exhibited by taut flags being whipped about. The pathetic eagle atop the flagpole looked like it was made of brown Play-Doh by a five year old, and a chubby Statue of Liberty stood across the water.

I had first cringed at the stupidly patriotic, "inspiring" artwork, but to see Kinkade's name on it -- that was just more than I could stand. One of the other employees picked the damned thing up and chased me around the shop with it because I refused to let it touch my skin (and certainly I wasn't going to frame it.) I figured the butthead just took advantage of current sentiments to release one of his older "patriotic" paintings at an opportune time, but then one of the other employees pointed out that the Twin Towers were missing from the New York skyline. He didn't waste any time with that one! I don't care if there was a Salvation Army logo on the bottom or not, this is just another case of someone using other people's misfortune to get their name out there. And quite frankly, it's a name I'm tired of hearing and seeing. I'm sick of car dealers, furniture stores, department stores and everyone else cramming stars and stripes down our throats and using nationalism and patriotism (which are disgusting enough on their own, especially in the excess we have seen lately) to sell crap and make more money.

Of course, I might be onto something here. Isn't America about rampant capitalism anyway? Maybe it is our patriotic "duty" to spend money. But you could at least waste money on something better than a crappy Kinkade print. If you want to donate to charity, then give them money and buy art that doesn't suck. Sometimes I hate my job.

Mostly I hate Thomas Kinkade, though.



       
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Hold on one moment... (5.00 / 1) (#1)
by legolas on Fri Nov 23rd, 2001 at 08:26:49 PM PST
Are you telling me that your place of business didn't uphold Buy Nothing Day today? I celebrated by buying poutine from Bud the Spud for lunch.

35C493 C4971/175 or something.

-legolas


I didn't buy nothing! (5.00 / 1) (#2)
by jin wicked on Fri Nov 23rd, 2001 at 09:51:14 PM PST
But I did get a CD for the bf after I got off work.


"Ars longa, vita brevis...Art is long, life is short."

Double Negative (5.00 / 1) (#9)
by legolas on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 10:03:02 AM PST
"I didn't buy nothing" seems to indicate that you did buy something.

Regardless, by continuing letting your place of business sell posters (which, in the hunter and gatherer sense, isn't something people need), you were further proving how addicted you are to the consumerism machine that is western society, which is gourging natural resources at an unsustainable rate. In addition, as illustrated by the Ad Busters,...

George W. and Tony Blair say shopping is the best way to protect First World freedoms and support the new war. We say, "Buy Nothing - For Peace!"

So, by not participating, you were also making the political statement that you condone the US's "cowardly" bombing of the 3rd world country of Afghanistan. I hope you can't sleep with yourself at night.

-legolas


If no one buys anything (5.00 / 1) (#11)
by jin wicked on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 11:45:17 AM PST
I'm out of a job and hungry on the street. Is the point of "buy nothing day" to hurt all the minimum wage (or near it) employees working in shopping malls and restaurants? I don't condone bombing in Afghanistan, but I'd also like to still be around to object to it and vote in the next election (in theory).


"Ars longa, vita brevis...Art is long, life is short."

Freeze! (5.00 / 1) (#12)
by RobotSlave on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 11:48:37 AM PST
Put your hands up, and step away from the Ayn Rand novel! Now!


© 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

Damn anarchocapitalist Libertarian twits... (5.00 / 1) (#13)
by jin wicked on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 12:00:17 PM PST
I'm a socialist. Don't insult me like that again!


"Ars longa, vita brevis...Art is long, life is short."

You're a socialist? (none / 0) (#14)
by RobotSlave on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 12:04:07 PM PST
If you're a Communist, why are you prattling on about "jobs" and "wages" and "elections?"


© 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

Possibly because (none / 0) (#15)
by jin wicked on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 12:06:26 PM PST
I am currently living in a capitalist system and I have to survive in order to change it?


"Ars longa, vita brevis...Art is long, life is short."

Don't be silly. (none / 0) (#19)
by RobotSlave on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 12:37:33 PM PST
A Communist does not submit to the shackles of Capitalism. When faced with Capitalism, the True Socialist knows that there is only one option: Revolution.

Hence, if you are not Revolting, then you are not a True Socialist.


© 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

No (5.00 / 1) (#22)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 12:44:38 PM PST
A socialist should be organising and prepearing for revolution. One socialist revolting alone is not a revolution, it is a failure.

Socialists need to organise the proletariat and bring them towards a revolutionary consciousness.

Only when all the masses are united can revolution begin.

In the meantime, we all have to make a living on the side.


Coward. (none / 0) (#23)
by RobotSlave on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 01:03:49 PM PST
Why don't you just concede victory to the Capitalists, then? Just send them a letter explaining your state of non-revolution, and they can laugh and laugh as you wait and wait for "the worker" to get the ball rolling while you... work.

The Revolution can only be started by example. Hop to it! I'm sure there's a Starbucks nearby that you can vandalize.


© 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

No again (5.00 / 1) (#25)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 01:27:58 PM PST
The road to revolution is long and bloody. Premature revolts by small numbers of people won't get us anywhere, and will give the capitalists the excuse to clamp down on revolutionary organisations (cf 9/11 and the destruction of rights thereafter).

The antiglobalisation children (with your 'cf Starbucks' sneer) are a welcome development, but they need to be properly educated both by themselves and by established revolutionaries, to be brought within the fold.

That peoples all over the world are starting to fight against international capitalism is to be welcomed, but only when the world is ready on a global scale can revolution begin.

Until then we must prepare for revolution, so that when it comes the result is inevitable and preordained.

You can try to state we should be haphazard and romantic, but that is just the road to an early grave. Revolting now would mean I will be buried by the capitalist system and the fascist state, not the other way around.

More infos here, please read and be enlightened, approach with an open mind.

--Anonymous Communist


Thank you Comrade! (none / 0) (#28)
by jin wicked on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 01:54:34 PM PST
Though I do not believe the road to socialism to be a bloody one. Once the majority of workers understand how socialism is a better alternative to capitalism, it should be accepted in a peaceful and worldwide revolution, without borders. Education is the only way to acheive socialism successfully and in the long term. It cannot be forced on people who do not understand how it works..


"Ars longa, vita brevis...Art is long, life is short."

Socialism is not a solution for the world. (none / 0) (#32)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 02:29:34 PM PST
Sharing is fine and all that, but in a socialist world, eventually one would run out of stuff to share with all the presumably deserving peons out there. I mean, perhaps you'd like a world full of one-parent families, in which males are entirely marginalised and replaced by the state-as-father-unit. Or a world where labor-saving devices are rejected as being signs of showing off and depriving others of a potential job. Socialism is corrosive. It looks handy on paper and in smallish homogeneous societies, but in the end, it robs humanity of the inventiveness and verve that raised civilisation to a point where one can loudly shriek for such travesties as socialism behind one's cloak of light-skinned American privilege.


 
Tiny flaw in plan (none / 0) (#34)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 02:42:03 PM PST
Education presupposes intelligence. Most people are stupid. Got a workaround for this one?


I do not believe (none / 0) (#36)
by jin wicked on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 03:12:18 PM PST
that most people are stupid. Most people have a government, organized religions, and all other kinds of influences trying to prevent them from thinking for themselves. People have a great potential, it just needs to be realized. Sometimes that happens, sometimes it doesn't.

Better to try to improve the world, than just sit on one's ass and criticize people who at least attempt to make a difference.


"Ars longa, vita brevis...Art is long, life is short."

So what are you doing to save the world again? (none / 0) (#41)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 04:28:16 PM PST
Just curious.


 
I like you better snarky (none / 0) (#49)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Nov 25th, 2001 at 01:43:30 AM PST
Cheap sanctimony clashes with your eye color.


 
Damn, you're good. (none / 0) (#35)
by RobotSlave on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 03:02:02 PM PST
Most of the Communist Sympathizers that I know have dropped Marx's revolutionary rhetoric and invoke him only for his historical analysis of Capitalism.

A fire-breathing Revolutionary is a real treat in this day and age. If only you were such a creature.

This rickety old attitude of "sit back and wait for the proletariat to turn off the TV, go to the gym, and start reading philosophy" has essentially destroyed the Left. Not just socialism, mind you, but the entire progressive spectrum. The conflation of a rather insightful critique of Industrial Capitalism with a proposition for societal change that flies in the face of human nature has done more harm to the world than its Soviet adoption ever did. The mistake has been repeated by one scholar after another. Even the better ones, like Erich Fromm, propose institutional rather than interpersonal solutions. This is the victory of Capitalism: any two people can implement it.

The drunkard who doesn't bother to pay his credit card bills on time is doing more to destroy Capitalism than any overeducated fool with good intentions who goes around talking down to people and telling them that they should start waiting for Marx's revolution. That drunkard is better prepared for Revolution than any self-styled Marxist will ever be. That drunkard will not be put to the wall if anything resembling Revolution does come along, but there is a good chance that the Marxist might be.

Before a student reads Marx, it is essential to have a grounding in Aesop. The Marxist Revolution will only be credible once those mice get around to putting a bell on that cat.


© 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

No I'm not. You are, though. (5.00 / 1) (#39)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 03:38:43 PM PST
This rickety old attitude of "sit back and wait for the proletariat to turn off the TV, go to the gym, and start reading philosophy" has essentially destroyed the Left.

Not really, it can and does happen, just not very often. Essentially these sentiments of yours echo those of Marie Antionette - how could the people ever revolt? And yet they do! The French Revolution, the Russian Revolution, the American Revolution. It does happen, you know?

I think you aren't thinking on a large enough timescale. Capitalism was invented in the 1400's as a modern philosophy, in the mercantile city states of Italy, but it still took many hundreds of years for it to become widespread, and it only occured after suitable societal revolutions in each of the countries where it took root (such as Cromwell in England, where the bourgeous revolted against the yokes of the landowning aristocracy).

Communism is still a young creed, to be sure, and it is my opinion that it can only succeed in a country that is very technologically advanced indeed. One with a full IT infrastructure and industries. The point is that revolution of this sort is inevitable. All the time, not just globally, but in the West itself, conditions get worse for those at the bottom and better for those at the top. Capitalism is fundamentally unfair, and is getting worse all the time. Given enough time, the fundamental and inherent contradictions of capitalism will lead to revolution.

I also think you have an insulting opinion of the masses in general. If you go to a third world nation and ask random people about such things as the IMF, the WTC, etc etc, you will recieve opinionated and definite responses from everyone. What determines the politicisation of the masses is need. If they have a job and food in their belly, thay are unwilling to rock the boat. The West buys contentment for its people for the price of discontent and material starvation among the other 80% of the world. However, this cannot hold forever, the nature of capitalism - its own fundamental and internal contradictions - mean that a great reckoning is nothing if not inevitable.

Just think with a grand, sweeping perspective. Think of the new technologies under development (nanotechnology, Genetic Engineering) and how these will allow the means of production to be commonly owned with great ease, and yet the bourgeouis will fight to retain control. I don't expect to see communism within 50 years, but I expect it to become a theoretical possibility, and to become more likely.

Realism is important, too.


Oh, well. (none / 0) (#42)
by RobotSlave on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 05:07:42 PM PST
I see you've gone and backed away from the rhetoric of Revolution, too.

This would be more fun if you were one of the old guard fist-in-the-air Marxists.

If you go back and read carefully, you'll see that I didn't offer you my opinion of the proletariat, apart from praise for a drunkard; instead, I suggested that the intellectual torchbearers of Marxism have a particular attitude toward the masses, and that this attitude is harmful. With that said, I think that while you're on your third-world field trip (to, for instance, Los Angeles), you're likely to encounter many people who can't read (or don't care to) and want your shoes or your extra sandwich (or your credit cards) in between your discussions of international monetary policy. You are unlikely to remember these people, because your interaction with them consists of avoiding them. These people are part of your masses, too, and you're going to have to find a place for them in your utopia.

When you say that Communism can only work in a technologically advanced nation, you are effectively saying that Communism can only work in a nation that has prospered at the expense of the peoples of other nations. That doesn't sound very nice to me, but I suppose it's consistent enough with Socialism for you.

Capitalism has been expanding since the day it was described to the rather ugly system we see today, whereas communism has been attempted and failed on almost every scale imaginable. The people have been ready for it. The people have organized and revolted to achieve it. And it has collapsed more often than not.

As to your "large timescale," I think I've had enough of your obsession with waiting. This is the epitome of Victimist, passive-agressive thinking, no different from the Puritan insistence on suffering through life, awaiting Heaven. As long as your theory offers you nothing that you can do now to achieve its goals, insists that others achieve those goals for you, and gives you license to complain about the absence of those goals, then you are doomed to an unhappy life.

You say Realism is important, and I agree, with the caveat that Realism seems to be an utterly subjective matter.

I don't question Communism's good intentions, but it ignores human nature, and crushes the souls of people who long for it's particular implementation of Heaven.

There will be change, but it will not take the form of Communism, and it probably won't involve anything as grand and exciting as a Revolution.

Listen to me. I will show you How to Smash Capitalist Oppression Without Leaving Your Bar-Stool.


© 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

Reply (none / 0) (#43)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 05:48:43 PM PST
I see you've gone and backed away from the rhetoric of Revolution, too

No, I just don't expect revolution to happen next week. Who knows what change ten years can bring, though? The inherent contradictions of capaitalism make our job easier by the day, and bring revolution closer at every step.

If you go back and read carefully, you'll see that I didn't offer you my opinion of the proletariat, apart from praise for a drunkard

Point taken.

With that said, I think that while you're on your third-world field trip (to, for instance, Los Angeles), you're likely to encounter many people who can't read (or don't care to) and want your shoes or your extra sandwich (or your credit cards) in between your discussions of international monetary policy.

Here you put words into my mouth - you know nothing of my attitudes or behaviour towards such people. You also assume I am not one of these people myself - putting me in some rich, travelling bracket, which I could only dream for :P

But that is mostly irrelevant. Yes, such people have to be taken care of in a communist society, and they are easily the biggest losers under a caitalist system. It is people such as those who, if anything, motivate the entire revolutionary communist movement. I myself have been homeless in the past, it sure isn't fun, but my present slightly better off situation does not render me some sort of hypocrite, as you seem to be implying. Those people are very symbolic of the human costs of capitalism.

When you say that Communism can only work in a technologically advanced nation, you are effectively saying that Communism can only work in a nation that has prospered at the expense of the peoples of other nations.

That is correct. It is these past and present wrongs which must be righted. And you have forgotten my other caveat - communism should occur on a global scale. Such concepts as 'nations' are really irrelevant. And the past injustices merely motivate us to do better. Are you saying communism should only seek to prosper in nations that have never ever profited from another? No such nation exists.

Capitalism has been expanding since the day it was described to the rather ugly system we see today, whereas communism has been attempted and failed on almost every scale imaginable. The people have been ready for it. The people have organized and revolted to achieve it. And it has collapsed more often than not.

Lets see. It was attempted in Russia in 1917. It did rather well at first, but being blasted by all the foreign powers and the armies of foreign occupation, and the fact that it started in a backward nation on the edge of Europe ruined by the First World War, really doomed it from the start. No government system could have survived such a state without becoming deformed by a figure such as Stalin.

Other than that, I can't think of anywhere where communism has been attempted. The Soviet machine and insurgency methods, and a gaggle of dictators happily using the name 'communism' for legitimacy, have ensured that it has never been tried anywhere else. Unless you are going to start callin Cuba, China et all Communist? But that would be wrong.

As to your "large timescale," I think I've had enough of your obsession with waiting. This is the epitome of Victimist, passive-agressive thinking, no different from the Puritan insistence on suffering through life, awaiting Heaven.

I never said I am waiting or doing nothing. It is perfectly possible to raise class consciousness of Communism and prepare the road to successful revolution, even when one does not think that revolution is going to happen next week. What's with your obsession with instantaneous revolution? Surely you must realise this is not likely, and would be futile. The few thousand we could muster in each city and town would just be thrown in jail :-)

As long as your theory offers you nothing that you can do now to achieve its goals, insists that others achieve those goals for you, and gives you license to complain about the absence of those goals, then you are doomed to an unhappy life.

But it does offer things I can do now to acheive its goals. You are wrong. We don;t just sit around passively watching the news, you know?

I don't question Communism's good intentions, but it ignores human nature, and crushes the souls of people who long for it's particular implementation of Heaven.

Why do you say it ignores human nature? How do 'natural' people live? Alone, or in communities? With private property and ownership, or with communal ownership? You tell me :-)

Listen to me. I will show you How to Smash Capitalist Oppression Without Leaving Your Bar-Stool.

Nice quip, but I'd rather go out and do the work.


 
Head for the hills (none / 0) (#26)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 01:44:50 PM PST
Why don't you and your progressive socialist pals band together and form a utopian community like they used to in the 1700s? There's plenty of cheap real estate and natural resources in the northwestern US.

I'm sure once the rest of humanity sees what a happy, healthy, friction-free, egalitarian society you are able to create, they will be delighted to follow your example.


That would be a cop out (5.00 / 1) (#30)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 02:00:00 PM PST
And a renunciation of our responsibilities.

Also, socialism must happen globally, little communities encaged and entombed by the capitalist system all around won't get anywhere.

The lowest level of socialism requires a society at the highest level of capitalism as its launching pad, part of a great soaring flight towards a new dawn for all Mankind.

Keep your seperatist, elitist nonsense.


 
I see. (4.00 / 1) (#16)
by legolas on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 12:25:02 PM PST
Well, in your fit of insensitive self-rightiousness, I think you have forgotten that this Thomas Kinkade fellow is a human too, and like yourself, he also has to eat. I find it difficult that you feel yourself rightious enough to berate him for his opportunism in the face of goings on in New York (and in Washington, DC, as most people seem to forget), and in the same breath enourage George W. Bush's call for increased consumer spending to support the War on Terrorism.

I really don't mind if you consider yourself a Socialist or a Capitalist. Only, please pick one and stick with it. Your history of changing your viewpoint based on your convenience has serious implications on your creditability, as well as questioning your responsibility as a member of society.

-legolas


There are ways to make money (none / 0) (#17)
by jin wicked on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 12:29:08 PM PST
without exploiting unfortunate situations. He chose to make that particular image. He could have very well painted something else and sold that. I can't fault him for wanting to make money, but I can fault him for having no conscience and being a crappy painter.


"Ars longa, vita brevis...Art is long, life is short."

So, really, (4.00 / 1) (#20)
by legolas on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 12:37:50 PM PST
you aren't that different from him at all. More then anybody, as a strugling artist, you should be able to empathize with his situation. However, that doesn't give you any moral justification to fund GWB's so-called "War on Terrorism" - you should be setting an example, and not hiding behind the justification of "Well, it's what everyone else is doing." I'm sorry, but the ends do not justify the means, and believing otherwise is a daft lie.

-legolas


Thomas Kinkade (none / 0) (#31)
by jin wicked on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 02:05:03 PM PST
is far from a struggling artist.


"Ars longa, vita brevis...Art is long, life is short."

Green eyed monster (3.00 / 1) (#33)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 02:39:43 PM PST
Oh, so that's what this is about: you're jealous. Look, just hang in there, you'll become popular too one day. Then bitter "socialists" on the internet will post messages about how much they hate you.


Yes, very jealous (none / 0) (#37)
by jin wicked on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 03:13:48 PM PST
some day I want my own army of loyal, rabid housewife zombies, too.


"Ars longa, vita brevis...Art is long, life is short."

Army of loyal, rabid housewife zombies (none / 0) (#38)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 03:33:26 PM PST
I find this idea strangely arousing...

Um, I'll be right back.


Children, behave. (none / 0) (#46)
by legolas on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 09:18:42 PM PST
That's what they say when we're together
And watch how you play
They don't understand
And so we're
Running just as fast as we can
Holdin' onto one another's hand
Tryin' to get away into the night
And then you put your arms around me
And we tumble to the ground
And then you say

I think we're alone now
There doesn't seem to be anyone around
I think we're alone now
The beating of our hearts is the only sound


-legolas


 
Speaking of people who can't paint.. (none / 0) (#24)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 01:05:28 PM PST
Have a look at this monstrosty! Is that supposed to be a train? What a mess. It looks like it was fingerpained painted by a spastic five-year-old!

Now Alex Ross: I think we can all agree that he's a real artist!


that painting is not too bad... (none / 0) (#47)
by error27 on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 09:36:29 PM PST
He probably should have used brighter, more glorious colors like Thomas Kinkade.

But I would say that it was a pretty good drawing of a train station.

You can't really see the peoples faces either. That would have helped--if you could see that all the people were happy to be going home for Christmas or excited to be travelling to another town or whatever.

But not everyone can be a great artist. The painter tried his best and that's what counts.




 
In Okemos, Michigan (5.00 / 1) (#3)
by alprazolam on Fri Nov 23rd, 2001 at 10:31:28 PM PST
There's a house facing a fairly busy street. The guy that lives there, apparently a 40 year old ex punk rocker, put banners all over the front of it. "Bin Laden is God" I think was one of them, my personal favorite is "Honk if you're a moron". Basically a wide variety of anti American stuff, really as reactionary as Thomas Kinkade flag paintings. I got a big kick out of it anyway, so maybe it will cheer you up too.


I don't get it. (5.00 / 2) (#4)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Nov 23rd, 2001 at 10:39:05 PM PST
So, he just sits in his car and honks his horn all day?


 
I don't know... (5.00 / 1) (#5)
by jin wicked on Fri Nov 23rd, 2001 at 10:43:52 PM PST
I was fairly annoyed with the whole thing. I'm tired of getting caught up in the centre of other people's arguments over who has the better invisible friend. But even patriotic people have to admit that the flag-waving is getting seriously disturbing and out of hand.

I've pretty much dismissed Kinkade as a goober as far as his personality is concerned. (Read his website for ten or fifteen minutes...) The picture was probably made for his thousands of grieving old lady and house-wife groupies. Just another way to get them to frame one of his sappy pictures in their living rooms, and make their poor husbands look at the crap.

Though I guess it's possible that "God" inspired him. The artwork did have some kind of title like "The Light of Freedom" and had Godly clouds in the background behind the flag. Bah humbug.


"Ars longa, vita brevis...Art is long, life is short."

 
personally I find his work charming... (5.00 / 1) (#6)
by error27 on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 12:13:04 AM PST
All you have to do is look at this picture to know that Thomas "Painter of Light" Kinkade is one of the great artists of all time.

The painting is titled "It doesn't get much better than this" and looking at the painting it is obvious that no it doesn't get much better than that. Look at all the colors! Look at the light beams shining down from the top left. (That's a trade mark Kinkade flourish btw). Also the man in the picture is fishing and that is traditionally a very fun thing to do!

Perhaps you would prefer to hang a stupid picture that looks like it was drawn by a trained ape in your living room. But I'll take the Kinkade, thank you very much.

Kinkade's paintings are really spiritual too because they send the message that if we all love each other and try to get along then that's the only way to have world peace!




The wisdom of Kinkade (5.00 / 1) (#7)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 12:36:47 AM PST
Please note the title of the painitng: "It Doesn't Get Much Better Than This". Kinkade is implying that fishing in a clear forest stream surrounded by lovingly rendered dayglo vegetation may be the best way to spend one's time, thus leaving the question open for those who disagree. This sort of polite open-mindedness is part of what makes Kinkade America's most popular artist.


Especially when "much better" (none / 0) (#29)
by jin wicked on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 01:59:51 PM PST
involves gouging your eyes out with meathooks and filling the subsequent bloody craters with salt and ground up glass, then sitting through ten consecutive viewings of Battlefield Earth.


"Ars longa, vita brevis...Art is long, life is short."

Ahem (none / 0) (#48)
by moriveth on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 10:58:36 PM PST
I liked Battlefield Earth.


 
*Ahem* (5.00 / 1) (#8)
by zikzak on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 01:53:32 AM PST
You are treading on very thin ice here, young lady!


Zikzak... (5.00 / 2) (#10)
by jin wicked on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 11:40:50 AM PST
I understand that you have difficulties dealing with me because you still insist on repressing the pent-up attraction you have towards me. Therefore, I'm going to try to be much more sensitive and considerate when interacting with you in the future, because I don't want to hurt your feelings or anything.

But you know, this like you have for Thomas Kinkade... this farce has to stop. You know you hate him. You hate Thomas Kinkade. I know the truth.


"Ars longa, vita brevis...Art is long, life is short."

Look who's talking about farces (4.00 / 1) (#18)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 12:32:23 PM PST
It is a well-known fact around these parts that "jin wicked" is just a front for a group of people all posting comments under the same name. I hardly see how Zikzak could be attracted to "you" when there is no "you" to be attracted to.


Resistance is futile. (none / 0) (#27)
by jin wicked on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 01:51:08 PM PST



"Ars longa, vita brevis...Art is long, life is short."

 
My dearest Jin (5.00 / 1) (#40)
by zikzak on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 04:12:51 PM PST
I must say I am glad you have finally realized what a perfect specimen of manhood I am. You must be aware that I have extended the deadline for applications to be my spouse, and I will certainly consider you as a potential, no matter how convoluted a manner you offer yourself.

However, we must look closely at some of your shortcomings. For starters, I don't believe you come anywhere near meeting the income requirements. I must know in advance how you plan to make up for this serious lack of such a key qualification.

Now I am a reasonable man, so perhaps we can work something out. I suppose it would be possible for me to support you financially, but there must be reciprocity. If I am to provide you with room and board you will need to earn it.

First is cleaning and cooking. You will be expected to do all of it, and expected to do it well. You will also be responsible for all domestic maintenance. I am a believer in equality of the sexes, so I do expect you to possess at least basic mechanical skills. Plumbing repair, appliance upkeep, and similar will all fall under your purview. Yard tending will be your duty as well, and should I decide at some point to move back to a locale that has seasons, you will also be the person who shovels the walk and driveway.

Finally, while I will supply funds for food and supplies, it will be your job to procure them under my strict instructions as to what is and what isn't acceptable. You will find your own means of getting to and from the retail establishments that sell such things, and if you choose not to walk or take the bus then you must pay for your own car and its upkeep. There will be no allowance for this, nor any other personal items you feel you need like clothing or toiletries, so in addition to your responsibilities for my demesne you will also likely need an outside job as well.

I thank you for taking the time to apply for this position, and I wish you the best of luck. Still, you should be made aware that you will be passed up in favor of anybody who earns a decent income.


Tsk, tsk... (none / 0) (#44)
by jin wicked on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 07:13:43 PM PST
You know very well that I have a boyfriend, zikzak; as a matter of fact, I highly doubt you could ever match him in personality, appearance, intelligence, or virility, not to mention the fact that he has a hat (which I doubt you do). You may be in denial about the fact; I understand that this "application to be your spouse" is just a front so that you can get to me without directly approaching me, since you know I read most of the diaries. You may play hard to get so that when I decline your advances (which you know I will), you can shrug it off with a minimal loss of pride yet still be able to say to yourself "Well, I tried."

Poor, sweet zikzak. Someday you'll be able to get over me, if you keep trying, and you'll find someone right for you. I wish you luck!


"Ars longa, vita brevis...Art is long, life is short."

My goodness (4.00 / 1) (#45)
by zikzak on Sat Nov 24th, 2001 at 08:51:14 PM PST
However do you manage to come up with such Byzantine methods of hiding the fact that it is you who is pursuing me? You needn't play games here. The truth is readily apparent.

All the other women of Adequacy are content fawning over me in my diary entries, but your well-established record of self-hate prohibits you from just coming out and stating how incredibly attractive you find me. Instead you go through this charade, posting vile invective against the most talented of artists, Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Light™, knowing full well that I can not allow such things to stand unchallenged.

You have lured me here under the guise of artistic discussion, but what do you do when I chastise you for your lack of taste? You immediately turn the topic towards carnality, plainly showing that when it comes to me your thoughts are solely confined to the bedroom.

It is ok to find me irresistable. I don't mind. If you would just open yourself to the true passion you feel for me then maybe you will begin to realize how you can better yourself and thereby be better qualified to share my personal space.

But all this schoolyard banter must end. As an adult I insist on straightforward talk. If you find my previous proposal unacceptable then you must get yourself gainfully employed for a substantial salary. Only then will I seriously consider accepting you as my wife.


 
You are only helping Kinkade $ell more $tuff (none / 0) (#50)
by Inden on Mon Nov 26th, 2001 at 08:49:37 AM PST
By publicizing him here you are only bringing more people who otherwise would never have heard of him into consciousness and potential purchasing of Kinkade prints.

Idiot - you are your own worst enemy with your rantings about taste in art. You are more likely to find yourself asked to frame more Kinkade prints as a result of your publicizing this one incident.

If you hate something that is art - ignore it and try not to let anyone else discover it either. That is how art is hurt. Any publicity is good publicity.

Don't make the same mistake next time you hate something.


 

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