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 Troubles with Impure Thoughts

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Jul 17, 2001
Recently I have found myself having more lustful thoughts than usual when I am around women. Normally I am able to control these feelings, and cast them into the shadows of my mind to be forgotten.

Now, when I see a pretty lady walk by, or smell the scent of a nice girl in the cricket club, I find I am convulsed with passions I can barely control.


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What can I do about this? I refuse absolutely to live in Sin with any woman, which means that I cannot possibly date secular non-believers.

My relationship with my last girlfriend sadly broke down a couple of months ago. I getting over her now, but I am not yet ready to start another relationship at this time.

Even so, my animal instincts demand to be quenched, and I refuse to sate them.

It is kind of worrying and a great distraction to me, so I have determined to see a doctor to see if he will give me drugs to destroy all my basal urges.

OTOH, I really don't want to mess with my body too much. Does anybody have any experience with this? What can I do to rid myself of these urges? I would ask my priest but it is kind of embarassing, he is ninety-odd years old and very traditional (in Scotland traditional=barbaric, oftentimes), so I doubt he would give the right advice.

Does anyone have any experience with this?


Easy solution (2.00 / 4) (#1)
by SpaceGhoti on Tue Jul 17th, 2001 at 04:59:53 PM PST
Hire the services of a prostitute. That way you can sate your animal lusts without corrupting an innocent woman. If it was good enough for Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggart, it ought to be good enough for you.

A troll's true colors.

Bromide might work. (4.00 / 2) (#2)
by dmg on Tue Jul 17th, 2001 at 05:05:57 PM PST
They used to put it in the NAAFI tea to keep the soldiers from having erections during battle. Or you could try chemical castration which has a whole host of other beneficial side effects, apart from a reduced sex drive.

If you live in Scotland, have you considered going to work on an Oil Rig ? I believe that you would be spending at least 2 weeks at a time out of reach of the opposite sex in the inhospitable environment of the North Sea. This would also give you time to catch up on your reading of the scripture which is surely the root of your problem.

time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration.
-- MC Hawking

Ooops. (5.00 / 1) (#3)
by dmg on Tue Jul 17th, 2001 at 05:07:29 PM PST
The correct link for chemical castration is here

time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration.
-- MC Hawking

Thank you (5.00 / 1) (#4)
by bc on Tue Jul 17th, 2001 at 05:14:24 PM PST
One of the problems with my affliction is the constant demand to commit unnatural acts (masturbation, for example). A chemical solution or drug of some sort would enable me to avoid such unnatural behaviour, this is true.

However, I think that would be the easy road out. You are correct that it is all about my poor study of Scripture, and furthermore my flaking willpower.

Perhaps a job as a councilor on board an oil rig would be a good move, but I would feel awfully cut off and current commitments would be in the way.

I shall read some of more relevant portions of the Old Testament and think hard on how to increase my willpower, and also become more secluded and avoid the weaker sex for a time.

I will also investigate the bromide solution carefully. My mind is not made up on such a course, as I have strong doubts, but it is an intriguing idea.

♥, bc.

have you considered the merits of suicide? (5.00 / 1) (#5)
by motherfuckin spork on Tue Jul 17th, 2001 at 09:08:02 PM PST
many feel that suicide itself is a sin, but I disagree. What is more noble than sparing the rest of human kind from the torment of your defiled being? It is noble to admit that sin has overtaken you, and that there is no way to redeem yourself, other than through the final act of death.

If this seems harsh, perhaps the work of martyred heros like Dr. Kevorkian could be utilized to mee the same end - a noble end to an ignoble life.

There is no fear, there is no sin, just a end, a way out for situations that cannot be overcome.

I am not who you think I am.

under the sun (none / 0) (#6)
by johnny ambiguous on Wed Jul 18th, 2001 at 04:42:38 PM PST
Running away from your problem is not the answer. Going on an oil rig, surrounded by muscular, sweaty, virile working-class men is worse than no answer; it threatens to exchange a dreadful sin for an even worse one. (Yeah, yeah, I stole that link from 70%, like, sue me.)

The problem is secrecy. You say you are "convulsed with passions," but those are literally hidden passions. Hidden, to be unflichingly explicit, by your pants.

I tell you and tell you but you won't listen. If you want to overcome your lustful, furtive weakness, the first thing you must do is bring it out in the open. Yes, bc, your cure is to be found in one of Britain's innumerable nudist camps.

"Sure," you exclaim (what writerly restraint! I was tempted to say "you ejaculate" but hey, stoop to crude double entendre, uh uh, not dis guy!) "I'm going to stroll around under the sun surrounded by dozens of sweet nude lovelies and I'm not going to suffer these prurient and ungodly temptations increased ten-fold?!" Well, I know how you feel! Certainly, to the unexperienced, that seems like the perilous natural consequence.

But the facts are counter-intuitive, quite different. Let a long-time resident of damp but lovely Lutz, Florida, U.S.A. set you straight on a true fact. That fact is this: men, and I'm not just talking about senescent old has-beens but healthy, potent young fellows such as yourself, in the free and candid environment of a nudist camp, virtually never experience uncontrolled erections in their camps's public fora. (After sundown, inside the cabins with curtains drawn, and in the exclusive company of their lawfully wedded spouses, it's quite a different story! But do keep in mind, the Lord himself indeed counsels, no, commands us [Gen. 1:28] to "be fruitful and multiply") No, with all eyes upon them for probably the first time since their preconscious infancy, they naturally and rapidly learn self mastery.

And so can you, bc! Good luck!

Yours Johnny "candid" A.

Getting into my Chevrolet Magic Fire, I drove slowly back to the office. - L. Rosen

Nudist Camp is an idea (5.00 / 1) (#7)
by bc on Wed Jul 18th, 2001 at 05:34:59 PM PST
I would need to find a good Christian nudist camp, one where there is a bountiful supply of fig leaves (no apple trees though thx).

If it is my rampant imagination that is my problem, then being exposed to the realities of feminine flesh and their mysterious bodily functions may well be cathartic.

I am not convinced that a woman being exposed all the way to her bed of scarlet joy would be fitting - nakedness to that extent could provide me with all too much knowledge, I fear. I do not wish to be turned from women for good.

Perhaps a swingers party would do the trick. Being slobbered on by divorcees of a certain age is reputed to be a ghastly experience - I knew a Right Honourable Rev. once with such problems.

Whatever happens, I am sure the Bible (with the possible exception of Solomon's little song) will see me through this.

I am going to try and learn hebrew so I can better understand the Lord's proper intent, and make my own path in this cold but tempting world. Like Jesus in the wilderness, I will take my strength from my father.

I thank you most deeply for your council :)

♥, bc.

*shakes head* (none / 0) (#8)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Jul 20th, 2001 at 02:37:40 AM PST
BC, you're insane, but highly humorous. After having read several of your posts, articles, etc., I can't believe a word you say. However, if by some stretch of the imagination you really are having trouble with "impure thoughts" and wish to be rid of them, here's a very good way to do so.

Envision the following:

Eartha Kitt and Roseanne Barr wrestling naked in a pool full of Jell-O.


Impure Thoughts (none / 0) (#9)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Oct 10th, 2001 at 03:22:58 PM PST
It is very natural to have these thoughts. At some point in everyone's life they just have a total urge to jump in someone's pants and fuck the shit out of them or something of the like. Males and females alike get these feelings. There are several ways to try and solve it. You have to figure out which one works best for you. Masturbation is great, gets rid of all your sexual tension for a time. Ignoring your feelings is another solution, you don't have to act on everything you think and although it may be sinful just ask God for forgiveness. If you truly believe in God and know that he forgives all you should feel better after asking for forgiveness. And of course there is always the solution of acting on your thoughts, not recommended though, women do slap hard...


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