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Who should be Adequacy's new mascot?
Jennifer Love Hewitt 0%
Sarah Michelle Gellar 0%
Christina Aguilera 0%
Natalie Portman 99%
Number Eighteen 0%
Cassandra from High School 0%

Votes: 1000070

 Miss Adequacy 2002

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Jan 23, 2002


Dear Adequacy Editors,

In a time when the Country is at war with Babylon, I feel that it is the duty of Adequacy to support the American way. I have been informed that Adequacy's mascot stars in many movies that have been created with the illegal hacker operating system, Linux. Surely, Adequacy does not want to be associated with communism. What can Adequacy do to show true Patriotism?


More diaries by MessiahWWKD
Ask Adequacy: What's with two masks?
Microsoft Windows XP Is Truly the Superior OS
Atheism, Crime, and the Connection
A Love Sonnet
Even OSS Prefers Windows XP
Accepting Homosexuals
My Hard Life
Free Escorts
Declaration of War Against Adequacy
Wicca FAQ
Native or Lying?
Capital Punishment
Literature and the Law
I hate the Open Source Community
I Miss Jin :(
Ask Adequacy: Am I a Pedophile?
Seatbelts - Bad Influence
The Perfect Career
End of Open Source

To show true American Patriotism, Adequacy must make Jennifer Love Hewitt the new mascot. Not only is she an All American Girl from the Bronx, but she has only starred in movies that support America. She also does not have the flabby chest Europeans have. Talk about heavyweights!

If Adequacy has not truly sold out, then they will anoint Jennifer Love Hewitt as the new mascot of Adequacy. Otherwise, farewell cruel world.

P.S. It should read "Our Mascot represents everything for which we stand." not "Our Mascot represents everything we stand for." Duh.



Dear Sir, (none / 0) (#1)
by osm on Thu Jan 24th, 2002 at 12:10:34 AM PST
The words "Our Mascot represents everything we stand for" is nowhere to be found on the mascot page in any combination. You are clearly suffering the hallucinatory effects of a certain hacker drug.

This is further proven by your psychotic notion that Jennifer Love Hewitt - or anyone, for that matter - measures up to the impossibly high standard set by Ms. Portman.

Please be sober the next time you post here.

Thank you.

My Apologies (5.00 / 1) (#2)
by MessiahWWKD on Thu Jan 24th, 2002 at 12:22:19 AM PST
I apologize for not clarifying the page on which the quote exists. It is here[].

P.S. I'm not drunk. I can still legally drive.
Guardian angel, heavenly friend, walk with me 'til the journey's end.

bah (5.00 / 1) (#3)
by em on Thu Jan 24th, 2002 at 12:31:10 AM PST
P.S. It should read "Our Mascot represents everything for which we stand." not "Our Mascot represents everything we stand for." Duh.

To repeat a cliche, that is a sort of pedantry up with which we shall not put.
Associate Editor,

Dear MessiahWWKD (5.00 / 1) (#4)
by zikzak on Thu Jan 24th, 2002 at 12:35:26 AM PST
Adequacy is a proud champion of the USian democratic process. As such, we have heard your plea and have decided to allow your poll and the votes it receives to be the final arbitrator in this tricky mascot debate.

Let the will of the people be heard!

I'm confident (5.00 / 1) (#5)
by osm on Thu Jan 24th, 2002 at 12:41:05 AM PST
the massive army of Natalie Portman obsessed Adequacy readers will make their voices heard., Chick Capital of the Internet (5.00 / 1) (#6)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Jan 24th, 2002 at 02:19:35 AM PST
While your dedication to Ms. Love-Hewitt is touching, I really must question the need to go outside the bounds of this site when searching for Ms. Adequacy 2002, when itself is already brimming over with suitable candidates. For example:

Chloedancer: This may or may not be a picture of her, and if it is, that may or may not be her real hair color, and if it is, she's pretty hot. Even that picture isn't her, I'm sure she's still a knockout: would Shoeboy lie to us?.

Poltroon: A talented artist, I have no idea what she looks like, but I'm sure she's real fine, seeing as all female artists are very attractive, as this picture of Frida Kahlo demonstrates.

Luisa: master of the "provocative question" diary format, Luisa may or may not actually be RobotSlave or Legolas, or possibly nathan, or maybe a cleverly written script, but whoever he/she/they is/are, I'm certain he/she/they/it is/are stunningly beautiful/ly coded.

Ana: first off, she's an astrophysicist, and everyone knows all astrophysicists are really hot, a fact proven by these pictures of Jodie Foster, who played an astrophysicist in the movie Contact. Second, She had a girlfriend at one time, and well, girl-girl action: you figure it out.

Jin Wicked: she's either the Claire Danes of Internet Goths or the Scarlet Johansson of K5 trolls, I'm not sure which. At any rate half the schlubs on this site are wildly in love with her, and there are some hot pics of her on her home page somewhere, which I'm too lazy to look for.

Hauntedattics: she's evidently some sort of business consultant, a profession which practically yodels: "hot babe in power suit", although I've never gotten a look at her, I'm sure she probably looks something like HP CEO cutie Carly Fiorina.

Perdida: arch-troll and dirty commie zapatista journalist; all of the freaks over on /. trolltalk are totally crushed out on her. There are a lot of hot commie chicks, such as Mayakovsky paramour Lili Brik, and although I've never seen Perdida, I bet she'd look pretty cute in one of those Red Army sniper outfits.

As you can see, every night is ladies' night at tha AQ. If you're looking for a Ms. Adequacy 2002, a plethora of fine babes is just a mouse-click away. Maybe someone could do a different poll or something.

Translation: (5.00 / 1) (#7)
by osm on Thu Jan 24th, 2002 at 03:09:26 AM PST
Natalie Portman: There Is None Higher.

You fool! (none / 0) (#8)
by SpaceGhoti on Thu Jan 24th, 2002 at 03:01:00 PM PST
How could you forget nakedac? I mean, she's a shoo-in. She's naked. What more could you ask for in a mascot?

A troll's true colors.

Chloedancer (none / 0) (#9)
by Peter Johnson on Thu Jan 24th, 2002 at 03:09:28 PM PST
I'm afraid that picture looks nothing like the fair Chloedancer. For one thing, my dearest Chloedancer's hair is naturally curly (and naturally red, the red in the picture you linked to is quite unnatural looking).

Unfortunately there are no pictures on the web I can link to, but the true g**k will appreciate this: Chloedancer modeled for the fire elemental card in Magic: The Gathering of Losers. And yes, her arms and shoulders really are that well defined.

Tragically, she is too active, vocal and independent to serve as a mere mascot.
Are you adequate?

Might I recuse myself, please? (none / 0) (#12)
by chloedancer on Thu Jan 24th, 2002 at 07:24:14 PM PST
I'd like to formally excuse myself from consideration on the grounds that I am personally "involved with" one of the elite editorial staff at this esteemed site, and that's quite enough of a tie-in for me, thank you.

And, quite frankly, having already done my time as the "Queen of the G**ks™" damn near 20 years ago, you couldn't pay me enough to do that again. But thanks much for the consideration, really.

RE: My state of being as a natural redhead... 'Tis true that the cuffs and the collar match, and that I'm in the auburn class instead of the carrot-top variety.

(I'm still wondering why, exactly, Mr. Johnson felt compelled to divulge my tie to the Fire Elemental artwork to the world at large; it's a bit like being the punchline to a bad joke -- You know you've been playing too much Magic the Gathering™ when: " wish you were going out with Fire Elemental!" or " and your friend argue over who is better looking...Serra Angel or Fire Elemental!" He did, however, exaggerate slightly with regard to the muscle definition of my arms/shoulders. It would take me about three weeks' time hitting a gym to get back to that state of being, but it's just not on my list of priorities at the moment.)

As a more accurate representation of my physical countenance these days, I offer the following for consideration: Egon Schiele's Sitting Woman with Legs Drawn Up. Just imagine her eyes as being cornflower blue and the hair a bit darker and it would be a fair likeness. (That we could all go through life as if painted by expressionist artists, right? ;)

Such Arresting Coincidence (none / 0) (#13)
by RobotSlave on Thu Jan 24th, 2002 at 08:34:17 PM PST
The first time I saw Schiele's Sitting Woman With Legs Drawn Up, (Or rather, the version known as The Artists Wife), it was on the wall of the bedroom of the first woman I ever loved (who is now far away, and very married, and pregnant). The painting looked almost exactly like her. The difference again is in the eyes-- hers are instead exactly like mine, and not easily assigned a color.

But I dwell far too much on appearances. I simply wish to mark the coincidence, and note that it, together with the image itself, has touched off an extended reverie. The faraway woman in question owes me a long (and long overdue) letter at the moment, but I fear I may feel compelled to break protocol, and write again, out of turn.

© 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

Say it isn't so! (none / 0) (#15)
by chloedancer on Thu Jan 24th, 2002 at 11:55:16 PM PST
RobotSlave is capable of sentimentalism? Hell seems to be reporting a record number of snowballs in its midst these days.

To be serious for just a moment, however... I'm honored to know that I could return the favor, c'est vrai. It's the exceptional moments that make a life well lived, and given the choice, I'd be willing to bet that you prefer the exceptions to the rules. What is protocol, anyhow? To me, it's always seemed to be just another way to save face, and you strike me as being bolder than one who would easily settle for something so meager.

Tell you what -- if you write her, I'll reply to my music man's missives. Fair enough?

Hrm... (none / 0) (#14)
by Peter Johnson on Thu Jan 24th, 2002 at 08:49:15 PM PST
I'm still wondering why, exactly, Mr. Johnson felt compelled to divulge my tie to the Fire Elemental artwork to the world at large;

If you'll read up the thread, you'll note that someone was speculating that a picture of a far less attractive woman might be you. Clearly I could not allow such slander (albeit unintentional) to pass without correction.

I'll admit though that the Schiele is quit a bit better likeness.

Your very own,
Are you adequate?

No harm, no foul (none / 0) (#16)
by chloedancer on Fri Jan 25th, 2002 at 12:08:43 AM PST
I did not chastise, Peter. It's certainly a slightly more appropriate/accurate representation than your own "Helen of Troy" link/reference a while back, all things considered (me being a force of nature and all). And your lack of reference to the T&A aspects was quite gentlemanly, indeed. It's just not something I've told very many people about due to the, um, odd popularity of that image in the realm of SF fandom. C'est la vie.

Luisa (none / 0) (#17)
by nathan on Fri Jan 25th, 2002 at 09:09:36 AM PST
I deny everything.

Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

picture of perdida (none / 0) (#19)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Jan 25th, 2002 at 02:22:40 PM PST

I am concerned (none / 0) (#11)
by Autobots vs Panopticon on Thu Jan 24th, 2002 at 05:45:55 PM PST
While Jennifer Love Hewitt and Natalie Portman are both lovely Jewesses, they are not the entirety of the field. Not to sound like an anti-Semite, but it is obvious the Zionist control of the media has reached all the way to the foremost informational site on the free web -

Adequacy readers should instead be considering models that every red blooded American boy can look up to, like Erika Yamakawa, Naomi Campbell, and Brad Pitt.

Fight the power!

More than meets the eye!

I feel that I would server as a better mascot (5.00 / 1) (#18)
by Slobodan Milosevic on Fri Jan 25th, 2002 at 12:00:28 PM PST


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