For centuries, Native Americans have told the world that they are native to the American land, even though scientists have irrefutable evidence that humans originated from the dark jungles of Africa. As any intellectual will tell you, the Americas and Africa are far apart from each other. Therefore, if humans came from Africa, how can Native Americans be native to this golden land of opportunity? Are the Native Americans lying about their nativity? That would be ridiculous to believe, for it would be ignorant and racist for anybody to believe that an entire race of people were lying. Therefore, the only logical conclusion to which an educated man can come is that Native Americans are not human.

It might seem difficult to believe that Native Americans are not humans since they are quite similar to real humans, but baboons, orangutans, and even monkeys have very similar DNA to modern humans. Native Americans are obviously another form of primates, quite possibly descendants of the Neanderthals, once believed to be extinct. It would explain why Native Americans were vulnerable to small pox, polio, and the measles when even the most primitive European man adapted an immunity to the diseases. It would also explain their tendency to identify each other under such savage monikers such as Running Wolf, Rising Eagle, and Thunder Cat.

Native Americans are animals, but enjoy all the privileges once reserved to human beings. They can be employed, obtain a driver's license, be a chef, and even participate in professional sports. This is plainly wrong, as it would be ridiculous for a business to employ a monkey, for a pig to cook one's meals, for a cat to drive a car, or for a dog to play football. They should require a license to own, should not be employed, and certainly it should be a crime to have sexual relations with a Native American, as bestiality is clearly wrong. Until legislation regulates the ownership of Native Americans, they will be allowed to roam our streets like lions, tigers, and bears, making it unsafe for the children.