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 Good Evening Dear Sirs,

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Mar 27, 2002
It has been a while since my last post to this fine site. I hope this site has not gone to hell without my presence. While the editors are noble, both they and I know that such a site cannot run without smart, rich gentleman such as myself. Because you have been waiting in eager anticipation for my return, allow me to explain.

I have been busy with many great affairs, such as discussing issues with the Academy in regards to the Oscar awards. Belive me, there are much better movies.


More diaries by Martino Cortez PhD
Good Morning Nobile Sirs
Dearest Adequacy Readors
Deor Adequecy Readers
Martin-Cortez Newsletter, Issue 1 v I
Martin-Cortez Newsletter - Issue 2, Vol I
Martin Cortez Newsletter, Issue 3, Vol 1
Martin-Cortez Financial Newsletter Issue 4, Vol 1
Martin-Cortez Financial Newsletter Issue 5, Vol 1
Dear Anonymous Reader Sir,
Help Save Me!!!
Martin Cortez Newsletter, Issue 5, Vol 1.
Dr William King Sir,
Martin Cortez Newsletter
Sir, Wherefore art thou adequate?
Dearest Adequacy Readers,
Dear Sirs,
Mr. Milosovic Sir,
A plea from a busy corporate executive
Dear Sirs,
In case you are wondering, my female typists are all doing well. Well, besides the one that got genital herpies from her boyfriend. Due to my vast riches, I have been given a treatment that renders me harmless to such pathetic illnesses that are only had by the unwashed masses. As for the typist, I had my servants throw her low -class self onto the street in front of the mission, where she belonged.

Please, gentle sirs, I await your discussion.


Pardon me... (none / 0) (#1)
by poltroon on Wed Mar 27th, 2002 at 11:27:59 PM PST
If by not being a sir I have implicitly been disinvited from the conversation, I apologize profusely in advance.

I am curious, esteemed sir, what are your feelings towards postmodernism?

Dear Miss, (5.00 / 1) (#2)
by Martino Cortez PhD on Thu Mar 28th, 2002 at 12:34:43 AM PST
Due to contractual agreements with several up-coming inner-city art companies, I cannot discuss my feelings and views toward postmodernism. What I can tell you is that it is a growing industry, with a staggering 50 percent growthrate.

Last year alone, the postmodern industry's net revenue was well into the tens of billions of dollars. Our top notch analyists are predicting to at least double that.

Thank you for your concern.

Dr Martino Cortez, PhD
CEO - Martin-Cortez Financial Corporation
Copyright © 2002, Martino Cortez.

Thank you, sir (none / 0) (#15)
by poltroon on Thu Mar 28th, 2002 at 07:37:59 PM PST
for your excellent insight.

I am also on the lookout for some more nascent theories to bet on. With my meager income, as I begin to squirrel away a bit for retirement, is postmodernism an industry that I can count on for the next 40 years?

I smell a rat. (none / 0) (#16)
by RobotSlave on Fri Mar 29th, 2002 at 02:29:24 AM PST
The following is the author's opinion only, and should not be taken as investment advice.

We all know that the esteemed Dr. Cortez is a tremendously capable businessman, but is he a reliable investment advisor? For all we know, he's looking to pull some money out of the postmodernism industry so he can put it to use elsewhere.

Think about it. It takes a large institutional concern to paint the tape. A big player. I'm not trying to point any fingers here, but you'd need someone with access to resources on a scale of those of, oh, just as an example, Dr. Martino Cortez. For instance.

And whenever you hear stories of a quick "pump and dump," where does the pumping happen, I ask you? That's right. On internet message boards. Like the Adequacy. For example.

Be careful. Be extremely cautious. Don't do anything foolish. Hedge your bets. Look before you leap.


Full disclosure: RobotSlave maintains a small short position in a diversified portfolio of postmodernism securities

© 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

No way! (none / 0) (#18)
by poltroon on Fri Mar 29th, 2002 at 11:21:00 AM PST
I'm confident that Dr. Cortez is the noblest of men. Pumping and dumping is carried out by teenaged hackers in internet chatrooms of questionable repute. Does that describe Adequacy? Obviously not. Well, granted, the pumping teenagers I speak of are not necessarily "hackers" per se, but their intentions are certainly just as self interested and malicious. Someone like Dr. Cortez has come by his wealth honestly, I'm very sure, and he would only have my best interests at heart when offering his valuable advice. Please don't take the esteemed gentleman's visits here for granted, or say something which may offend him. We are very lucky to have access to his bursts of insight into the world of extreme wealth and refinement...

Kind Sir, (none / 0) (#19)
by jvance on Fri Mar 29th, 2002 at 03:52:41 PM PST
What with your extensive postmodernist investments, I was wondering if you maintained a position in this stock?

Also, esteemed sir, if you could grace us with your opinion of it? Should I consider adding it to my admittedly meagre portfolio?

I await your response,

J. Vance
Adequacy has turned into a cesspool consisting of ... blubbering, superstitious fools arguing with smug, pseudointellectual assholes. -AR

Tus Nalgas (none / 0) (#3)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Mar 28th, 2002 at 03:08:53 AM PST
Tus nalgas y tu boca tienen el mismo olor. Lamentablemente.

Civilized languages, please (none / 0) (#4)
by T Reginald Gibbons on Thu Mar 28th, 2002 at 04:31:46 AM PST
I understand that there may have been gaps in your education large enough to pass the entire English language through, but could you please try to speak at least some kind of semi-intelligible patois? We aren't as draconian about language as some have claimed. Pidgin English will be accepted if that's all that's going, but when you turn up here yammering in Hindi, we can't help but feel slighted. Since we're all guests of Adequacy's operators, don't you think it would be polite to address them and us in some semblance of a modern tongue?

Besides, there are no web translators for Hindi so whatever it was you were trying to communicate, we'll never know. Are there any fluent speakers of Hindi on the site who can help out this gentleman?

sigh (1.00 / 1) (#7)
by Shinkansen on Thu Mar 28th, 2002 at 05:45:16 AM PST
you jackass, thats spanish

Because 30,000 burning nuns can't be wrong...

also, (none / 0) (#8)
by Shinkansen on Thu Mar 28th, 2002 at 05:47:40 AM PST
it says "Your butt and your mouth smell the same" otherwise knowns as "you have shit-breath"

Because 30,000 burning nuns can't be wrong...

How about..... (none / 0) (#9)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Mar 28th, 2002 at 05:48:51 AM PST
How about something more attuned to your limited focus,sahib?

Ahem. (none / 0) (#14)
by tkatchev on Thu Mar 28th, 2002 at 12:15:38 PM PST

Как говорил великий Пушкин, "...не ебите мне мозги..."

Peace and much love...

'yawn' (none / 0) (#5)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Mar 28th, 2002 at 04:41:56 AM PST
I see your vast wealth hasn't been able to buy you anything interesting, worthwhile or charismatic to say! Or maybe you're just masquerading as a bloated exec, in the dim hope of impressing someone here, who knows, who cares!
This site is becoming increasingly tedious though, in my mind. I'm obviously not rich, arogant & opinionated enough to give a damn about the fevered scribblings posted here.
Can anyone recommend any better websites?

No websites (none / 0) (#6)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Mar 28th, 2002 at 05:03:30 AM PST
But have you considered renting this great movie ?

This Website is the best! (none / 0) (#10)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Mar 28th, 2002 at 08:48:09 AM PST
Why would you want a better website than this one? It's full of self-righteous, egotistical morons that have no clue what they're talking about! It's sure to be amusing more often than not!

In order to communicate with a geek (none / 0) (#20)
by jvance on Fri Mar 29th, 2002 at 04:47:36 PM PST
one must speak like a geek. With that in mind:

You are not ready. You would not ...understand
Listen to the music, not the song
Adequacy has turned into a cesspool consisting of ... blubbering, superstitious fools arguing with smug, pseudointellectual assholes. -AR

Good Afternoon Sir (5.00 / 1) (#11)
by PotatoError on Thu Mar 28th, 2002 at 08:49:20 AM PST
Ive been awaiting your return for a while now.

In between writing pointless diaries and flames, ive been hard at work amongst the thousands of other lower class workers in order to make your world that little bit better. I hope we are achieving to satisify your needs so far.

As humble workers, all we desire to know is that our master is content with our work.
We live to serve and thank that your vast intellect can help control us through the chaos of the outside world.

With thanks,
PotatoError (or Worker #0271)


that's what usually brings me back for more! (none / 0) (#12)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Mar 28th, 2002 at 09:53:50 AM PST
ain't it so!

Welcome Back (none / 0) (#13)
by Yoshi on Thu Mar 28th, 2002 at 10:03:34 AM PST
I'm extremely delighted to see a return of truth to Lately, I'm saddened to say, the influx of new users has brought down the discussion level here at The Most Controversial Site on the Internet quite a bit. There are a few individuals who you should really be weary of. Other than that, welcome back, and I am incredibly delighted at your return.

Can't resist, as usual. (none / 0) (#17)
by hauntedattics on Fri Mar 29th, 2002 at 07:08:37 AM PST
Although the comments of the individuals you list do often make me weary, I think you're advising Dr. Cortez to be wary of them, yes?


you bastard (5.00 / 1) (#21)
by turmeric on Sat Mar 30th, 2002 at 08:33:59 PM PST
first off, let me say this is much funnier
if i read it with christopher walken in mind,
especially his character 'the continental' fromsatuday
night live..

second of all, whtf? you threw someone out
just coz of herpes?!?! you moron!


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