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For too many people, "sex" is synonymous with "intercourse". Though intercourse is a popular and perhaps archetypal form of sex, it is inappropriate and potentially harmful to overlook the numerous sexual alternatives to intercourse and to its risks of STDs and pregnancy.
Good sex is about more than intercourse; it's about passion and pleasure. And though "orgasm" is no more synonymous with "good sex" than is "intercourse" with "sex", it is worth noting that a significant percentage of people can only achieve orgasm through non-intercourse sex. This is why it is important to learn about these alternative methods and about manual sex in particular. |
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Manual sex can take numerous forms, ranging from solo masturbation to mutual masturbation and fisting. Each of these carries its own benefits and associated risks, so it is worth exploring them one at a time.
Solo MasturbationIf you possess a functional set of genitalia, as most people do, then you probably already know about and have experienced solo masturbation. It's about as ordinary as picking your nose; the body part is there, and you're prone to fiddle with it. Masturbation provides a good opportunity for self discovery, and the knowledge of one's own sexual anatomy and pleasures gleaned from masturbation can be directly applied towards successful sex with one's partner.
Mutual MasturbationMutual masturbation is slightly more complicated than solo masturbation, because of two considerations: the simultaneous coordination of two individuals manipulating each other's bodies and the novelty of manipulating what is (for heterosexual couples) comparatively unfamiliar body parts. Inexperienced men, for example, might not immediately comprehend how to stimulate female genitalia, because such an act is qualitatively different from stimulating one's own penis; instead of wrapping one's hands around a shaft, the appropriate course of action typically involving insertion of one's fingers into the vaginal orifice.In order to get an advanced sense of how the act properly proceeds, you can perform a small experiment for yourself: insert your index finger into one of the nostrils of your nose. Move it around gently and explore. The warmth and moisture of your nose approximate the ambient conditions of a typical vagina, and the distribution of nerve endings is sufficiently similar that you can practice appropriate manual technique with an awareness of any adverse sensations your partner might experience because of improper technique. Slowly move your finger in and out of your nose in a slow but deliberate rhythmic fashion; proper rhythm is the secret to good manual sex.
FistingFisting is an extreme but rewarding form of manual sex -- whereas simple masturbation might involve the external stimulation of genitalia or the minor insertion of individual fingers, fisting consists of the insertion of an entire hand into the vagina or anus. Because this is a non-trivial physical act, special precautions should be taken to ensure safety and success.Proper and copious lubricant is a must, because improper or insufficient lubricant might result in the tearing or rupturing of sensitive genital tissues and organs. Without appropriate preparation, an unpleasant experience is all but guaranteed. To illustrate and clarify some of the issues involved, try an experiment: take your index and middle fingers, hold them pressed against each other, and insert them both into one of the nostrils of your nose. Because they are unlubricated and therefore dry, you should experience considerable difficulty and much discomfort; this is the result of using no lubrication at all. Next, remove the fingers, insert them into your mouth in order to wet them with saliva, and then reinsert them into your nose. Because they are somewhat lubricated but because saliva is an inadequate lubricant, your nose should again experience discomfort but not as much as before. Finally, dip your fingers into an appropriate lubricant such as Vaseline or vegetable shortening and reinsert them into your nose; the result should be a pleasant and painless insertion, allowing you finally to turn your attention to the separate but related issue of distending a small orifice with such a large object. Again, you'll find that your nose and your partner's genitals will thank you for proceeding slowly and cautiously, making no sudden movements and maintaining constant communication and trust.
ConclusionManual sex can be an exciting and satisfying addition to any couple's sexual repertoire. Though your partner might at first feel reluctant, explain the benefits and mechanics, including the above nasal exercises. With proper technique and a strong emotional grounding, your sexual experiences should rise to new heights and attain new dimensions. |