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Poll
The red paintballs symbolize
Communism 21%
Blood 0%
Menstruation 64%
Death 14%

Votes: 14

 A dream of Communism and porno

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Jul 20, 2002
 Comments:
Lately, disturbing dreams have been rare. But last night, they returned with a vengance.
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In this dream I was a sniper. I was in a cold, snowy Siberian field, sitting behind a bale of hay.

Through the scope of my rifle, I could see a dark-suited, sunglasses-wearing KGB agent. I shot him with my red paintball rifle. I shot him again and again. Soon the Communist was covered in red paint, and was quite annoyed.

Then I returned to the small log cabin base. I got on the computer and began to peruse Playboy.com. There was a large electrical surge, and the computer was fried. Concerned, I asked my commanding officer if there was any way the enemy could retrieve fragments of what I was surfing. He said that the only person who could recover the data (and thus expose me as a pornography user) was Q from Star Trek. I then uttered an expletive.

At this point, I woke up surprised that this had not been a wet dream.

       
Tweet

A typical American Dream. (none / 0) (#1)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Jul 20th, 2002 at 12:30:08 PM PST
Guy fight ennemy vigorously and wins with perseverance.

Guy goes celebrating, feels guilty and is punished.

Only malevolent foreigner will try to know about his weakness and take some advantage.

 
I dreamed... (none / 0) (#2)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Jul 20th, 2002 at 02:03:50 PM PST
...about talking tortoises.

I was holding my desert tortoise and telling her:
"tuguita!, tuguita!, tuga!" (her name) and she answered: "tuguita!, tuguita!, tuga!"

Then a I saw a lot of tortoises talkin and yelling. Pretty wierd dream.

 
A dream of mine (none / 0) (#3)
by eSolutions on Sat Jul 20th, 2002 at 05:53:37 PM PST
I listen to NPR in the mornings, to better know the thinking of the liberal menace. Anyway, they have traffic reports in the morning, and since I usually fall back to sleep after the radio alarm goes off, the traffic report girl keeps entering into my dreams.

In one dream, for example, I was living in an old house with my ex-girlfriend. Someone kept stealing paintings from me, for whatever reason, and when I complained she proceeded to bitch me out.

Then, right in the middle of her naggery -- which had been routine when I dated her -- she went stiff-spined, looked straight ahead fixedly, and began to rapidly rattle off traffic tips like a cyborg. "INBOUNDDANRYANBACKEDUPTOLAKECOOKROAD TWENTYMINUTEOUTBOUNDTIMESONTHEEISENHOWEREXPRESSWAY." Then she stopped, shook her head, and said, "Woah. That was weird."


------- You wanna play the blind man, go walk with a Shepherd. But me, my eyes are wide fuckin' open.

Sadly, (none / 0) (#4)
by First Incision on Sat Jul 20th, 2002 at 10:12:27 PM PST
my local NPR station does not have the budget for traffic reports.

I also wake up to NPR, for two reasons. First, I don't like waking up to loud music or beeping. Second, in theory, if there was some earth-shattering news event, I would know about it as soon as I woke up.

This theory did not work out on practice on 9/11. Where was I when I first heard of the attacks? I was in bed. I heard something about a fire in New York, and I hit the snooze button. I blame this on the calm, whispering voices of NPR reporters. You think that they could have screamed into the microphone at least that one time.
_
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Do you suffer from late-night hacking? Ask your doctor about Protonix.

 

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