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Football, the beautiful game. A game played by billions of people all over the globe. Whether it is Ethiopian street urchins, poor Polish peons, or malodorous Mexicans, all around the world people play football with passion and commitment. Football is adored by liberals, and one can see, Prima Facie, why they worship it so -- it seems to promote such ideals as cooperation, common ownership, and the One for All, All for One ethos championed by socialist musketeers throughout Christendom. These liberals think that football is a bulwark against fascism, and allows the working man to understand socialism at a simple level. They often point to a documentary that purports to show this process in action -- fortunately, I have ascertained it is mostly fiction.
Football doesn't provide a fillip to socialism. It promotes fascism.
The first clue that football promotes fascism is in the public perception of the players. Workaday defenders are nonentities, struggling to get by on meagre wages, whilst strikers get paid ridiculous sums of money, sometimes upwards of £2000 a week. If you watch media coverage of football, they don't concentrate on team performance or talk about how well the players cooperate -- they instead celebrate moments of great human individualism, the moments when one player will perform some act of beautiful genius and turn a game on its end. Players such as David Beckham, George Best, Pele, Maradonna, Terry Butcher and Michael Owen. These are players who can and do make a difference, but not by communicating with the team, but by subverting it, by going it alone. No matter how much the manager tries to impose communist, totalitarian standards (is it any wonder that the best managers in the UK have all been Scottish? No, because Scotland is easily the most left wing part of the UK), players still end up being individualist and spurn the notion of the common good.
Historically, football has always been associated with extreme politics. Lets look at this table of the best international and club sides the world has seen, cross referenced with the governance of each.
These nations represent the heavyweights of international success over the years -- and every single one is either fascist or totalitarian. The relationship between football and dodgy political regimes is a close one then.
There have been some attempts to purge football of its fascist leanings. A good example is Holland in the 1970s, which invented total football, a tactical system whereby players didn't have set positions on the pitch anymore, such as striker, defender, midfielder, but rather each was regarded as capable of playing in any position, and they would swap around throughout the game. Clearly an attempt at imposing egalitarian, soundly socialist values, we should all salute the low country liberals for at least attempting to humanise football. Nonetheless, the fascist underpinnings of football soon jumped to the fore once more, as players such as Johannes Cruyff were raised above other members, and worshipped as Gods across Europe. How terrible that such noble ideals were spoiled by the natural bias towards hero worship and hence discrimination and exclusion inherent in this supposed 'King of Sports'.
It is interesting to note that some of the scariest regimes in the world today back football to the hilt. Uday Hussein, the son of the notorious Saddam, is manager of the Iraq national side. He has a rigorous approach to team discipline, and will torture the team should they lose. Meanwhile, Saadi al-Qadhafi, son of the Libyan leader, is head of his country's FA and plays for the national team.
Such are the fascistic passions surrounding football that it has even been known to start wars. Honduras and neighbouring El Salvador actually warred after a World Cup qualifier in 1969, after a controversial penalty decision. It resulted in 3000 deaths.
Football is fascist. It lends itself to individualism and the glorification of the concept of superman. As such, it is the first target of totalitarian regimes that seek to show how superior the chosen race is. Strangely, in the west it is regarded as something of a liberal game -- one that promotes the ideals of socialism and friendliness to all Mankind. This is why hipster lefties throughout the western world often posture in support of the game.
However, one must wonder if the millions of Soccer Moms in America are aware of the terrible fascistic undertones of the game. They may think, as they send little Johnny off for soccer practise, that he is learning how to interact with others in a bonding environment. In actual fact, he is playing a sport that is enjoyed by dictators everywhere, a sport that is red with blood of millions of dead, a sport that encourages war, fascism, right wingery and hatred of self.
Look at the supporters of the game. Football is beset by hooliganism, but another name for this hooliganism is fascist activism -- what happens at an international football match really isn't any different to what happens at a meeting of the G7, political groups such as Combat 18 are always there in force, furthering their despicable right wing agenda. And this doesn't just happen at an international level. Lets have a look at these internationally respected clubs, and their associations:
Another problem with football, and probably one that hampers it and makes it somewhat extreme, is the demands it makes upon the players. Not anyone can play football, you need a certain body shape. Strikers are all expected to be huge ectomorphs, sometimes in excess of 6'2" or more, whilst defenders have to be large and slow so they can dominate the game. This is a disgraceful lack of democracy that rots the very core of the sport, for it ensures that only those on the edge of human experience can expect to make it in the world of professional football.
I think it is
perfectly clear that football is a dangerous sport, one that contaminates the
mind of the reader with notions of racial superiority and Darwinian selection.
Hopefully the EU or some such responsible body will see this and curtail the
game, as it is surely a bar to European Unity to have nations continually
fighting wars by proxy. Any good liberal should be ashamed that football is still
allowed to exist in this day and age.