Kill Yr Idols: Tiger Woods

`Tiger` Woods was born as Eldrick T. Woods on Dec 30th 1976. His father was Earl Woods, a retired US Army lieutenant, too unintelligent to escape the draft, and his mother was Kutilda, a native of Thailand, a country notorious for its hordes of wanton women desperate to be sold to a suitor in the USA. Unusualy, he was given the nickname 'Tiger', after Vuong Dang Phong, a fighter in the Vietnamese Communist regime. How chilling it is that this supposed ambassador of the game was named after one of the butchering enemies of our fine country.

This is where the fraud begins. `Tiger` may look black, he isn't black at all. He is a mongrel, with the red blood of the communist Chinese, some Thai and Red Indian too, and a dash of Carribean and even some pure white blood. Very little black blood though - the whole industry that has built up around his African-American sainthood is an invention endorsed by Woods to make money off the backs of oreos and middle class white kids enthralled by black 'culture'.

Eldritch Eldrick first picked up a golf club at just 4, and has displayed a preternatural golfing ability all his life. He's been a media whore from a young age too, appearing on the 'Michael Douglas Show' (Douglas is a well known adulterer) in 1978 with Bob Hope and Jimmy Stewart, where he had a putting contest with the tiresome 'comedians'. Where most other golfers concentrate on their art and shun media attention, Tiger Woods has shown an obsession with with it from a very young age. How apt that nowadays the egomaniacal schemer is the official spokesman of Disney Corporation.

Tiger isn't just vain though, he's greedy too. He is commited to sponsorship deals with Nike ($40 million), Titleist ($20 million), General Motors, Rolex, and American Express. No company is too morally shady for Woods to reject. Despite his Far Eastern origins, he supports & profits from the child labour industry personally. The children of his homelands work in dreadful conditions in the various sweatshops of his sponsors to fill the pockets of this modern version of William Wilberforce. He might be good with a driver, but he's a dab hand at being a slavedriver too, in a very real sense.

You may think that the eldritch one is intelligent, but he is only cunning, having a sure touch for manipulation, deceit and hypocrisy. He dropped out of High School, but nonetheless jammied his way into Stanford off the back of his golfing skills, only to neglect his studies for the amateur golf circuit and disgracefully shame his family by dropping out of University altogether. So much for his intelligence, then.

When he isn't recklessly spending his ill-gotten cash on unknown projects, Tiger is womanising his way to degeneracy. He is well known to be a misogynist, as he only has time for brainless bimbos - women such as Tyra Banks, a supermodel, Kelli Kuehne (pin up) and Joanna Jagoda (Californian babe). Obviously he doesn't respect women of intelligence, and this disgraceful string of affairs should only damn him in the eyes of all monogamists.

When he isn't encouraging people to be blasphemers, we can guess that he will be engaged in some despicable activity or another. Lets review his sins:

Not black at all.(Sin of Lies)
Supporter of the Vietnamese Communist regime (Sin of Envy)
Supporter of Child Labour & Concentration Camps (Sin of Wrath)
Supporter of Evil Multinational Companies (Sin of Wrath)
Demands unhealthy amounts of money for sponsorship (Sin of Gluttony)
High School & University drop out (Sin of Sloth)
Media Whore (Sin of Pride)
Womaniser (Sin of Lust)
His parents are immigrants/are descended from immigrants (Sin of Envy)

So we can see that Mr Woods has broken every single one of the seven deadly Sins, and that he does so with pride!

If you play golf, or have children who do, make sure to not buy any Tiger Woods endorsed products and certainly make sure to shield your children and yourself from his endless egotistical media projection. It is self evident that Tiger Woods is an evil, hypocritical bastard and the absolute antithesis of the American Dream.

	Testify! (4.00 / 2) (#6)
	by SpaceGhoti on Mon Jul 23rd, 2001 at 01:57:12 PM PST

	His father was Earl Woods, a retired US Army lieutenant, too unintelligent to escape the draft... As opposed to William H. Macy, who was an immoral communist pinko for being intelligent enough to dodge the draft. He is a mongrel, with the red blood of the communist Chinese, some Thai and Red Indian too, and a dash of Carribean and even some pure white blood. Clearly, the man comes from inferior stock and presumes to mingle with his betters. He deserves to die. The great nation that is the United States wasn't founded on the poor, downtrodden masses of impure blood, after all! ...appearing on the 'Michael Douglas Show' (Douglas is a well known adulterer)... Guilt by association! Hang him! He is commited to sponsorship deals with Nike ($40 million), Titleist ($20 million), General Motors, Rolex, and American Express. No company is too morally shady for Woods to reject. It's rumored that he even donates to children's causes, like the Ronald McDonald House and Jerry's Kids. No organization is too low for his patronage. Despite his Far Eastern origins, he supports & profits from the child labour industry personally. The children of his homelands work in dreadful conditions in the various sweatshops of his sponsors to fill the pockets of this modern version of William Wilberforce. Woods personally goes to impoverished countries to visit the factories of the companies sponsoring him. It's said that he gets a wicked gleam in his eye when he's offered a turn at the whip. Furthermore, he goes and supports the Actors Guild strike! The man has no shame, but would you really expect him to? He is well known to be a misogynist, as he only has time for brainless bimbos - women such as Tyra Banks, a supermodel, Kelli Kuehne (pin up) and Joanna Jagoda (Californian babe). Only choosing women of loose morals and low character, he then adds insult to injury by not offering to share with the worthy author of this article (Infinite in His Wisdom)! The gall of the man! It is self evident that Tiger Woods is an evil, hypocritical bastard and the absolute antithesis of the American Dream. Son of a blue-collar army grunt and ethnic immigrant beats all odds and makes good. Woods is clearly in collaboration with Satan and his ilk. The Founding Fathers must be rolling in their graves. A troll's true colors.

	These ensubstantiated arguments are worthless. (5.00 / 1) (#7)
	by bc on Mon Jul 23rd, 2001 at 02:31:24 PM PST

	As opposed to William H. Macy, who was an immoral communist pinko for being intelligent enough to dodge the draft. You think this is a contradiction huh? Well, even though 70% is a different editor entirely, and even although we have no editorial line, I do happen to agree with both these statements. It is all about motive. William H. Macey, that bastard, avoided the draft not out of lofty principles of freedom & justice, but out of sheer lily livered cowardice. 70% rightfully condemned him. Meanwhile, Earl Woods didn't join the army because he wanted to fight the advance of communism. He was drafted against his will. He would far rather have idled away the early 70's among his own kind in the urban slums of the USA, doubtless in a haze of THC-induced paranioa and loneliness. Hell, at least Macy had the good taste to escape to a drama school and try and better himself - Earl Woods would have spent the time unprofitably. Its a good job (for society) that the army saved him from a life of petty crime and thieving. Clearly, the man comes from inferior stock and presumes to mingle with his betters. He deserves to die. The great nation that is the United States wasn't founded on the poor, downtrodden masses of impure blood, after all! Damn right it wasn't. It was founded by the upper classes of Great Britain, our glorious Mother Country, with the fairest and most leveling of motives - sheer greed. The only working classes were the excess human detritus of the slums of Liverpool and Glasgow, priggish radicals and puritan pricks, forcibly sent abroad to America to work at the behest of their rightful masters, in the ultimate service of the Monarch. These elements make America what it is, a classless, boorish place, filled with starbucks cafes and McDonald's restauraunts. If there is one thing you people need, it is a class system. A nation of entirely composed of mongrel working class economic migrants is a fucking awful place. Your smattering of WASPish, Oxbridge educated CEO's just isn't enough. It's rumored that he even donates to children's causes, like the Ronald McDonald House and Jerry's Kids. No organization is too low for his patronage. Well of course he does! Haven't you seen videos of Hitler with the Nazi youth? Jesus! You really need to start thinking more critically about things you read on the internet - not all of it is true you know. Only choosing women of loose morals and low character, he then adds insult to injury by not offering to share with the worthy author of this article (Infinite in His Wisdom)! The gall of the man! You don't know Tiger Woods. I bet he'd just love to share his handsome harlots with all comers. You are in the thrall of the corporate media and globonews interests. It's a good job you have adequacy.org to set you straight, and give you the real deal. ♥, bc.

	Kneeling at the feet of the Master (5.00 / 1) (#9)
	by SpaceGhoti on Mon Jul 23rd, 2001 at 02:57:00 PM PST

	...even though 70% is a different editor entirely, and even although we have no editorial line... Same great taste with a different name! Damn right it wasn't. It was founded by the upper classes of Great Britain, our glorious Mother Country, with the fairest and most leveling of motives - sheer greed. Properly ignoring the Spanish and French settlers of the time, along with the Italian, German, Polish, Hebrew and Chinese immigrants who came later. And let us certainly not forget those involuntary settlers, the Africans who worked so hard for the privilege of being called property. Gutter trash, all of 'em. They aren't a relevant part of US history. If there is one thing you people need, it is a class system. Of course! That's what we've been missing all these years! We need a class of inbred, morally superior shmucks to tell all of us stunted, working-class shmucks what to do and think! God truly does smile upon us in Her wisdom to bring You (Infinite in Your Wisdom) to us to lead us from darkness. Haven't you seen videos of Hitler with the Nazi youth? Exactly! Like Hitler, Tiger Woods knows that the true path to global domination is to indoctrinate our youth properly! We'd better make sure we indoctrinate them with our propaganda, first! It's a good job you have adequacy.org to set you straight, and give you the real deal. Goodness knows, I wouldn't want to start thinking for myself! A troll's true colors.

	tactical error! (none / 0) (#13)
	by sputnik on Tue Jul 24th, 2001 at 03:35:03 PM PST

	"Haven't you seen videos of Hitler with the Nazi youth?" Godwin's Law invoked. You lose. Perhaps a better example would have been Bill Gates and his "philanthropy."

	Godwin's Law not supported here (none / 0) (#14)
	by Anonymous Reader on Tue Jul 24th, 2001 at 04:13:37 PM PST

	Please read the FAQ. Godwin's Law is a device used by cowards to squash legitimate arguments and free speech.

	Godwin's Law (none / 0) (#15)
	by sputnik on Tue Jul 24th, 2001 at 05:11:08 PM PST

	I have read the faq. I don't remember reading that it is "a device used by cowards to squash legitimate arguments and free speech." Perhaps you should read the faq. This use of Godwin's law was justified. Jsm's recent article on Slobodan Milosevic, and the obvious similarities he bears to Tiger Woods, simply brought Godwin's Law to mind as an appropriate response.

	Godwin's law and Adequacy - A clarification (none / 0) (#16)
	by dmg on Wed Jul 25th, 2001 at 07:40:11 AM PST

	Perhaps the FAQ does not make it clear: We do not support the use of Godwin's law when the subject of discussion is either a Nazi, or is Nazi-like in nature. Godwin's law may be invoked, if the subject of discussion is in no way Nazi like. Hope this helps. time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration. -- MC Hawking

	Enlightenment (5.00 / 1) (#17)
	by SpaceGhoti on Wed Jul 25th, 2001 at 11:56:36 AM PST

	There's a trick to understanding the logic (such as it is) inherent to Adequacy.org: if an Editor (Infinite in Their Wisdom) says it, it is holy law. Even if another Editor (Infinite in Their Wisdom) says something completely contradictory, both are holy law. Therefore, since an Editor (Infinite in His Wisdom) brought up Nazis, Godwin's Law cannot be applied. Anyone else would necessarily be shot down like the first duck of hunting season. It's really very simple. A troll's true colors.

	Wrong. (5.00 / 1) (#12)
	by em on Tue Jul 24th, 2001 at 11:01:22 AM PST

	As opposed to William H. Macy, who was an immoral communist pinko for being intelligent enough to dodge the draft. Who ever said that Macy escaped the draft out of anything but cowardice? Or that he is intelligent, for that matter? It is a fact that a nation needs to exempt its most intelligent mebers from being used as cannon fodder-- some people need to figure out who has to die where and when in service of the country. If Macy was indeed intelligent, then he should have stayed. The fact that he fled is quite telling about his intelligence. --em Associate Editor, Adequacy.org

	From this littany of damnations... (3.25 / 4) (#8)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Jul 23rd, 2001 at 02:34:24 PM PST

	I have only one word to say about the author, bc: Jealous

	Correction (5.00 / 3) (#10)
	by beef on Mon Jul 23rd, 2001 at 03:25:14 PM PST

	Tiger Woods was born Dec 30, 1975. I am offended at the suggestion that Mr. "I shot 65 because I didn't have my 'A Game'" was born within 10 days of me.

	Surprising (4.50 / 2) (#11)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Jul 23rd, 2001 at 07:32:58 PM PST

	The rest of the article seemed very correct and to the point. I am surprised that adequacy.org let such a glaring factual error slip through the editorial net. I can only imagine that it was some sort of typo. One thing is for sure, after this I won't be buying Nike or Titleist again, and supporting Woods' heinous lifestyle.