Irresponsible Meat Judge

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Poll

Votes: 19

Irresponsible Meat Judge

Author:

RobotSlave

Topic:

Diaries

Posted:

Dec 17, 2001

Comments:

This here article in the New York Times has pissed me off.

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The article covers a court decision that says the US government can't shut down a meat plant just becuase it has failed some dumb salmonella test three times.

That's not a problem. It's going to take more than a few lousy pathogens to scare me away from tasty, nutritious Meat. What gets my goat is the quote near the end of the article from the Judge who made the decision, noting that:

"American housewives and cooks normally are not ignorant or stupid and their methods of preparing and cooking food do not ordinarily result in salmonellosis." (emphasis added)

Here's the rub: everyone knows that housewives have no business cooking Meat. Tasty, delicious Meat should only be prepared by Men, preferably outdoors over an open flame. Now, the quote is a little ambiguous, as it does not refer directly to tasty Meat, so this could be a case of Irresponsible Journalism rather than Tainted Justice, but either way, an apology is in order.

	so... (none / 0) (#1)
	by ana on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 02:39:50 PM PST

	Why does the New York Times think they need to know my sex before I'm allowed to read their silly newspaper? I'm perfectly prepared with bogus e-mail addresses, so their spam can go to the devil who spawned it, but they got no business askin me personal stuff like the cut of my undies. Ana Why not?

	If you're an interesting, Adequate persion... (none / 0) (#3)
	by because it isnt on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 02:54:28 PM PST

	then revealing your gender should not reveal the cut of your undies. adequacy.org -- because it isn't

	True, but... (none / 0) (#4)
	by ana on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 03:03:32 PM PST

	revealing your gender should not* reveal the cut of your undies* But they wanted to know my sex, not my gender. Ana Why not?

	As a red-bloeded male, (none / 0) (#5)
	by because it isnt on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 03:16:56 PM PST

	I can understand any other red-blooded man wishing to "know your sex", but a newspaper wanting to know? That's what I'd call sexual harrassment. adequacy.org -- because it isn't

	Perhaps you should change your name, then. (none / 0) (#8)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 06:14:04 PM PST

	Change your name to "ano". Hmmm maybe not.

	Dear Ana, (none / 0) (#10)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 06:52:53 PM PST

	Do you prefer bikini or French cut, or perhaps a thong? --The New York Times

	Dear Newspaper, (none / 0) (#12)
	by Lint on Tue Dec 18th, 2001 at 02:46:46 AM PST

	I am a woman, but I highly enjoy cooking tasty, nutritious meat over an open flame. Does this make me a man? Sincerely, Concerned in Kalamazoo Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you. Bill Hicks

	Dear C in K, (none / 0) (#14)
	by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 18th, 2001 at 09:49:38 AM PST

	The New York Times does not recognize the existence of "Kalamazoo." Yours sincerely, The New York Times

	But it could be worse. (none / 0) (#2)
	by Hagbard Celine on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 02:53:33 PM PST

	I wholeheartedly agree that housewives should be kept from preparing meat. However, I find the decision here quite frightening. If the USDA cannot close a plant that is not meeting standards for different bacteria, what's the point of the agency in the first place? What if had been something more deadly, like the bacteria that killed some people in the US?

	Stop pretending to be a Man. (5.00 / 1) (#6)
	by elenchos on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 04:07:51 PM PST

	Real Men have no interest in pre-captured, pre-killed, pre-inspected and pre-processed "meat". That isn't MEAT. That is pablum, little boy food. Naturally it is cooked by houswives for sniveling little boys who cry and whimper at the scary thought of a little bit of salmonella or e. coli on their "meat", and so they worry that the judge they need to protect their "meat" for them isn't enough of a "man" to inspect it properly. Bah! Real Men need NOBODY else to go and capture and kill (for those daintys who eat it killed) and tear apart their Meat. And don't even start with your prissy talk of "knives" or this gay "fire" you need. Go back to the Girl Scouts! The likes of you have no business even thinking about trying to get and eat Meat! You'll be in tears the second you get a little blood on the front of your dress. Pah! I do, I do, I do --Bikini Kill

	And the scales fell from my eyes. (5.00 / 1) (#7)
	by RobotSlave on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 05:48:51 PM PST

	Did you see that, boat people? Are you beginning to understand why some are adequacy editors, and the rest of us can only hope to get close enough to them to grovel at their feet? Why, I wouldn't be a scrap of what I am today without the casual insult that I have been lucky enough to recieve, blessedly on more than one occasion, from an adequacy editor. I am feeling much better, now that I have subdued a bear and eaten its Meat, but I must admit to a certain shame, for I had to use my teeth to tear the shivering Meat into dainty little fist-sized pieces before swallowing. I am so humiliated. And excited. © 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

	I'll show you teeth. (none / 0) (#9)
	by nathan on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 06:29:38 PM PST

	Once you're finished describing your vile, bestial exploits, you can go fetch me a beer. Make sure it's cold this time, dammit, or else we'll see who the bear is around here. Come to think of it, we're going to do that anyway. And don't even get me started on "quivering" or "fist-sized," Slave. Master Nathan -- Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

	Hot date! Hot date! (none / 0) (#11)
	by RobotSlave on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 08:46:24 PM PST

	I'll go and launder the special underthings, Master. Slave promises that Slave will not be thinking about elenchos while we are playing tonight. No, sir. Not a bit. © 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

	Question (none / 0) (#13)
	by hauntedattics on Tue Dec 18th, 2001 at 08:14:52 AM PST

	And what, might I ask, will you two be playing at this evening? Football? Navy submarine?

	the game (none / 0) (#15)
	by nathan on Tue Dec 18th, 2001 at 09:56:02 AM PST

	We'll be playing "Portman and Habermann." After that, we'll be playing "Guess the Word." To wrap things up, we'll be playing viola sonatas. Mwahahaha, Nathan -- Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

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