Now over the years, each of them slowly worked their way up the ladder of power and at last, after the help of a rigged election, both Bush and Blair became dictators of the US and Britain respectively.

But then the bloody soviets tried to invade Afghanistan and screwed it all up. By the time Bin was giving it a second chance, Bush and Blair were already screwing up the countries they owned and laughing in the faces of the people who elected them. Bin was jealous.

So he set up a movement called "Al-Qaeda" which was given a primary mission to piss off Bush and Blair. At first Al-Qaeda merely wrote insulting letters to both Bush and Blair but they simply ignored them. This infuriated Bin beyond belief so he told Al-Qaeda to go to plan two. Plan Two was to smack 3 jumbo jets into the World Trade buildings and Pentagon and kill thousands. Sure this was a bit of a step up from the hate mail but Bin was *really* pissed off.

After the event Bush and Blair were fuming that Bin hadn't even given them so much as a warning. "Some friend he's turning out to be", remarked Blair. Both conferred and agreed that Bin had to be taught a lesson. A whole army of British and American troops charged across the atlantic baying for revenge. Bin sensibly ran.

Bush and Blair had now conquered Afghanistan and felt rather proud of it. They decided to call it "The war against Terror". Bush gave his henchmen known as the CNN the details and they were happy to strap the title to everything they touched.

Western troops hunted Bin for weeks without luck. But suddenly out of the blue, rumour had it that Bin was hiding in a cave called Tora Bora. It was at this moment that Bush and Blair suddenly felt pity for their friend Bin, they didn't want to let him die at the hands of their bloodthirsty troops. So they told their armies not to move in on Tora Bora. "He'll get the message and run" said Bush confidently. Did he hell! whooosh out the cave, across the desert and up the mountain..he was gone.

Now Bush and Blair were faced with a dilema. They couldn't call off the hunt for Bin because their people wanted him captured, but neither could they allow him to be found or they knew he would be killed for certain. So they needed a distraction - a BIG distraction. So later that afternoon, Bush gave his old time highschool buddy Saddam a call.

"Listen Saddam, Ive got a bit of a problem - I need to start another war with you ok?"

Bush sat back for a while in his chair wondering if he really needed another distraction. "Oh fuck it", he finally said and picked up the phone to Sharon.

Bin meanwhile spent his time shooting porn...some of the less explicit outtakes were released to the world media. Using special techniques he learnt from the CIA, he sent encoded messages to Blair and Bush via the videos, telling them he was deeply sorry and could they please stop the nasty people from shooting at him?

Meanwhile troops searching for Bin were given trivial roles such as "Peacekeeping", looking in caves and shooting mountains.

And so the story goes on....

Plus - Will Bin Laden shoot film?

Find out in the NEXT EDITION!