The Online Social World: Internet Dating

When some single people are looking for a date, they go bar hopping. Others participate in organized activities, like church functions, hoping to find that special someone to share their interests, and perhaps something more. Still others simply spend time with their friends, hoping to meet the right person through a mutual friend. There are countless ways to meet people when you're looking for a relationship. It's just that some of them are safer and healthier than others.

This article warns you about one of the worst methods of finding a date, tailing the list just above kidnapping: online dating. This article will inform you about the downfalls of online dating so readers can make the healthy decision to stay away from it. If you are a parent, it is doubly important that you read this article, so you are aware of what dangers await your children online and you can do whatever is necessary to protect them.

Whether an online relationship starts by chance or through ads placed on personal advertising services, when two people manage to "find someone" through the constant stream of pornography on the internet, the result is the same. The relationship is always unhealthy for those involved. Often, just the pursuit of a relationship online itself can even be dangerous!

If you've seen the average dating scene in our cities today, you are probably less than impressed with at least some of the people there. I'm sure we're all aware of the sorts of losers that show up just about everywhere in today's society, even when they're not welcome. But imagine: the internet dating scene is composed of those who can not cut in in the real world dating scenes. The losers you see at the local bar are at least well adjusted enough to go look for partners in real life. In contrast, the people who would look for love online are so far below the mark that they don't even bother showing up to traditional places where one can find a mate, because they know it's hopeless.

Think! You know what kind of people use the internet. The internet is full of people who pay hundreds of dollars per month for high speed access to disgusting, degrading pornography sites!

Simply put, if you're looking for love on the internet, you're clearly scraping the bottom of the barrel. But it gets worse. In real life, your body, through years of trial and error, has developed a defense system that is adept at judging the people you meet. Your first impressions about people can speak volumes. If you happen to run into a person who is dangerous, or just a little bit too weird, warning signs go off in your head and you quickly dismiss the person, as you should, and move along to find someone else who is hopefully a bit more normal.

However, when you are talking to people online you have no way of telling what the person you are talking to is like. Without the ability to see someone, you can not properly judge them, and you never know what sort of person you are talking to until you make the dangerous step of meeting them in real life. To exacerbate things, most people you talk to online are aware of this, and exploit it to their benefit. Not only will they avoid speaking about their shortcomings, but they will often intentionally mislead you! Without the audio and visual cues you rely upon, you are powerless to determine if the person you are talking to is an average homely nerd or some sort of pornography addicted homosexual rapist!

An added benefit to meeting people in real life is that the places you go determine the sort of people you will meet. If you go to expensive clubs in nice parts of town, the people you see are forced to cross a kind of financial and social barrier to get in. On the internet, you have no way of knowing if you've accidentally struck up conversation with someone who is altogether different from you! If you're not careful, you could even be talking to a presbyterian and not even realize it.

As mentioned before, because of the wide availability of pornography on the internet, most people online are only there to get their rocks off. While you or your child might become emotionally attached to the person on the other end of the wire, to them the relationship rarely means more than interactive pornography! You or someone you know is just being used for some perverts masturbatory pleasure!

Obviously, online dating is unhealthy and dangerous. If you value your life and your mental health, you must stay away from them. If you value your friends and family, you must warn them about these "relationships." And if you are a parent, you must monitor your children's online activities closely. The "friendships" they are forming could quickly become something deadly.

Thank you.

	this reminds me of a story I have already imparted (none / 0) (#6)
	by motherfuckin spork on Mon Aug 6th, 2001 at 02:21:45 PM PST

	I told others of how my roommate in college picked up some chick off of IRC. He talked her into flying down to school from somewhere in upstate NY (I think - may have been MA, too long ago)... anyway, so she shows up, goes to dinner with him, loses her virginity with him, flies back and talks to him for a few more weeks on IRC, then vanishes. FYI: He is now a drug addicted loser who flunked out of college, she was a fat cow who ate like a starved person being set loose at an Old Country Buffet. The whole situation makes me ill to this very day. excuse me, I need to use the restroom. BTW: This story really is 100% true - I only wish I had made it up I am not who you think I am.

	why did she do it? (none / 0) (#12)
	by Bugbear on Mon Aug 6th, 2001 at 05:43:18 PM PST

	Was she butt ugly or fat? Why would she travel that far to bang some guy she never met? good story, though!!

	since you asked... (none / 0) (#15)
	by motherfuckin spork on Mon Aug 6th, 2001 at 08:02:38 PM PST

	Was she butt ugly or fat? She was indeed rather large - probably too large. She was not ever going to be a skinny girl, but there was no need for her to be as large as she was. She probably would have been facially pretty, had hygene been a higher priority - she really needed to wash her hair - it looked downright nasty. Personality-wise, she was very nice, but way lacking in self-esteem. I actually tried to talk her out of it when I found out, but she was not about to budge. I even tried to talk her out of it when she got in from her flight, but she was too far gone by that point... alas, it was not for the lack of effort on my part or another IRC user at the time, but we lost. That was also the last time I ever used IRC... the events that transpired were just too pathetic to keep using it - especially knowing that this was not a unique situation... I had some chick ready to fly out to meet me (we played the Battletech 3051 MUSE together)... it took me quite a long time to convince her that I was indeed engaged and had a wedding date set. Anyway, so there you have it... I am not who you think I am.

	Truisms (none / 0) (#29)
	by Anonymous Reader on Tue Sep 25th, 2001 at 01:54:35 PM PST

	A few of my notes on fat chicks, as I have had opportunity to study them (in captivity, of course). This is of course a generalization, and need not be true in every case: fat chicks have nice hair. fat chicks can cook. fat chicks suck a mean dick (gobble if u prefer). fat chicks go out of their way to be nice. fat chicks do what they are told. fat chicks do not call the police. And of course, every fat chick has a skinny girl trapped inside her (with alot of choclate). Fat chicks are not to be reviled, they serve key roles in society, as illustrated above. On ugly chicks, please subsitute the word "fat" with "ugly" above. Thanks 4 ur time, and as grandpa was wont to say: blow me and don't tell mom. --ken

	Have some respect! (none / 0) (#34)
	by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 18th, 2001 at 06:06:03 AM PST

	OMFG I can't believe I'm reading this shit. I happen to know of people how are naturally fat. And sorry if we weren't born fucking pretty like you biast assholes. My friends who are overweight goto the gym and work out. They can't help the fact that their motabolism is designed that way. Yes some people are not naturally over weight. But you do not have to be so ignorant towards the rest of the over weight community. You people are the ones who are indecent, disrepectful, and cruel. You are the kind of people that jerk off to porn then deny it and blame it on the nerds who make a living off of being amazing at computers. STFU UP ALL OF YOU. I haven't seen this many assholes in all my life.

	You go dude (none / 0) (#37)
	by Anonymous Reader on Tue Jan 1st, 2002 at 03:15:28 AM PST

	Your Awesome even though im not overweight i was when i was younger

	I think the planets have aligned (5.00 / 1) (#7)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Aug 6th, 2001 at 03:09:05 PM PST

	I completely agree with the author. Unbelieveable. These sort of relationships never work (with few exceptions) because of lack of physical contact (not touching or sex, but something as simple as sitting across the table from your date as you discuss something over dinner). There is a big difference between talking on IRC and standing in front of someone and trying to put together a coherent sentence. I applaud Adequacy for letting this quality article appear.

	Truth in Advertising (4.00 / 1) (#8)
	by Harvey Fish on Mon Aug 6th, 2001 at 03:35:23 PM PST

	I tried the Internet dating thing for awhile, and a couple things stand out in my mind from the whole experience: 1) Chatrooms: Where the men are men, and so are half the women. The female personnas who were blatantly female were quite often men in disguise. And the few that weren't reminded me of black widow spiders. Many of the male personnas were actually women tired of being accosted by perverts online. These women were just your run-of-the-mill desperation cases 2) Add three years and 30 lbs to the picture that she sent you, if it really is her in the picture at all. The writer of this story is correct. If they are online looking for romance, there is something wrong with them in a serious way. Of course, many of the women I dated in real life were pretty messed up too, but not nearly to the extent that the online ones were. And the men, you ask? They're worse than the women as far as the ability to deal with the real world. They'll say some of the crudest shit, simply because they can hide behind their keyboards. The Internet Dating Scene is a nightmare. I ended up meeting and marrying a person in real life, and it's still the best way to go.

	there's only one problem with this story (5.00 / 4) (#9)
	by alprazolam on Mon Aug 6th, 2001 at 04:26:44 PM PST

	This story implies that you are likely to meet a "normal" girl in the "real world". This is blatantly false, as all men over the age of 21 have discovered. Any women single past the age of 19 are 100% likely to be either emotional wrecks, gold digging whores, obnoxiously talkative idiots, or just plain ugly. Not to mention the diseases that run rampant among women who frequent bars.

	You missed one category (none / 0) (#30)
	by Anonymous Reader on Sat Dec 8th, 2001 at 08:20:07 PM PST

	There are women who are not emotional wrecks, gold diggers, idiots or ugly. Unfortunately, 99% of them are lesbians and the remaining 1% are married to huge brutes. Sigh

	finding true love online (none / 0) (#36)
	by seemehearme on Sun Dec 30th, 2001 at 11:09:31 AM PST

	My husband sent me a t-shirt and a disposable camera. I was to put the thing on and take pictures and send them back. I made the t-shirt into a bikini and took the whole roll in various poses. I sent the film back with a disposable camera and a 24k gold chain, asking for pics of him. He sent me pictures of him in nothing but the necklace and a smile. I left the store with the pics and drove 2000 miles to meat him IRL. er, uh...MEET him IRL. LMAO! I proposed to him with a 1 carat diamond man's ring right in front of his ex-wife. We've been happily married for 3 years and no, you can't see the pics! LOL

	Internet romance and robots (none / 0) (#27)
	by Anonymous Reader on Thu Aug 30th, 2001 at 08:29:15 PM PST

	Ha! Exactly that happened to Willow on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

	S T F U (none / 0) (#32)
	by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 16th, 2001 at 05:32:43 AM PST

	Your a f#$king m0r0n. What she said is totally true. If someone does all the sh*t she just stated then not really much bad can happen. Take your head out of your a$$ and grow the f#$k up. F#$king m0r0n.

	I once (none / 0) (#10)
	by Husaria on Mon Aug 6th, 2001 at 04:56:30 PM PST

	I've been ircing since age 12. For quite some time I was an op for the irc msn network in their teen forum. You would not believe how worked up people got over their online relationships. As I see it, it is merely words, you really can't see the other person. For all you know, you may be in love with a robot. Sig sigger

	A SUCCESS STORY (1.00 / 1) (#11)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Aug 6th, 2001 at 05:25:10 PM PST

	Whoever wrote this article needs to crawl back into the grave they climbed out of because he/she is obviously a very shallow-minded individual that doesn't have a clue about life in today's world. The author of this article makes it seem like everyone is on the Internet to look at porn...WRONG...I don't know where he/she got this from, but they don't know a clue about the Internet or online relationships. I DO KNOW! I met a man on the Internet 2 and a half years ago...and guess what...he is a very wonderful man...a true gentlemen and the love of my life. We now have a real life relationship...we spend time together atleast every other week...I just got back from spending 5 days with him and his mom...his mom loves me to death and thinks the world of me. He has been a dream come true and it all started on the Internet. He wasn't looking at porn and neither was I....we are both Christians...we are just 2 people who love computers...he was coming off a bad relationship and was NOT looking for love and neither was I....we just met thru a random chat and started talking, became friends, and slowly, over time, we fell in love with each other. And there is nobody that can't say its not real...we ARE REAL....2 and a 1/2 years REAL. I am a part of his family and he's part of mine and we are looking to have a great future together. So to whoever wrote this article....ya need to wake up and grow up. Its people like you who give the Internet such a bad name and its people like me and my boyfriend who know the TRUTH and what joy and happiness can be found in the online world. There are many, many, many success stories and many people who have married their online love...and the numbers will only increase. So to anyone who reads this article...its a bunch of BS...the aurthor MAYBE had a point in trying to get people to be cautious...YES...you have to be cautious...BUT you have to be in any other relationship too...more so on the Internet...but that doesn't mean its a bad thing. The person who wrote this article sounds like someone who had a bad experience, probably because they didn't follow the guidelines of online dating and now wants to take it out on the whole interent....but they didn't do a very good job of it. And its very pathetic when the writer of an article is so wrapped up in tying everything with porn...makes me wonder of the writer himself has an addiction to porn. You have to be careful, take precautions...don't go looking for love in a sex chat if you want something more than a cheap good time....same thing as don't go to a strip joint if you want to find a faithful, loving spouse....use COMMON sense. And evidently whoever wrote this article doesn't have much comon sense or they wouldn't have written such a stupid, totally out of line, full of non-sense article. Sorry dude, but wake up...the Internet is the wave of the future and online relationships ARE a part of that. Whenever there is communication, there is a chance for friendship and love.... I found TRUE LOVE on the INTERNET...so you can't tell me that it won't work....MINE DID work!

	You know what? (none / 0) (#16)
	by suick on Mon Aug 6th, 2001 at 08:07:18 PM PST

	After reading your post, this came to mind. c'mon, lower.

	My advice (2.00 / 2) (#13)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Aug 6th, 2001 at 05:52:31 PM PST

	I will say this as my advice: If you go to a strip club, you're asking for trouble...if you go to a sex/porn site/chat, then you're asking for trouble. In internet love...use comon sense. Start out as friends...talk about any and everything...ask QUESTIONS and lots of them....save the conversations...if he's lying, it'll get harder and harder and you keep an eye out for anything that looks sucspcious. Find out a phone #, mailing address, and make sure they check out. Look for anything wierd...like if he only wants you to call at certain times or if he doesn't want you to call him at all. Find out where he works...Get a picture...to make sure its recent, if that's a concern, have them take a pic in front of a calender, new model car...or something that will let you date the picture. Get the phone # or e-mail of friends and family members...talk to them. Don't run an investigation, but this is all a part of getting to know them...in real life, you'd get to know their family...so why not online? Don't be like "hey, is your son a murderer?"...just get to know them like you'd do in real life. If you have any doubts, ask and find out. Be completely honest with the other person and if they are not being honest, you will probably soon to find out if you follow the precautions. Meet in person as soon as possible...make sure you feel comfortable and make sure its been long enough where you've got to know each other online. NEVER meet them alone...always meet in a public place and if possible, bring somone along. Its a good idea not to get too serious before you meet becauce sometimes things can change in real life...for the worse or for the better so its just good not to get too attached. Don't get too lost in the love until you know where the road is leading you...if there is a great distance involved, THINK about it BEFORE things get to serious. It HURTS like crazy if you fall in love and even meet and its all great....but one problem...neither of you can leave where you are at and the distance gets to be too much. Understand what you're getting into before you get into it. Distance is tough...make sure you BOTH can deal with it and are willing and make sure there is some way in the future down the line that you can be able to be together. Sadly, sometimes it just doesn't work out or very rarely, you do find someone who has lied and not been caught...well sadly that happens, but that's the risk you take...it doesn't happen often if you follow good advice...and the same thing can happen in real life...you can be fooled in real life. Internet relationships are like any other...some work and some don't, that's just how it goes. BUT they CAN work...me and my boyfriend are PROOF..2 and a 1/2 years and now in real life. That's my opinion...

	yes but... (3.00 / 2) (#14)
	by Anonymous Reader on Mon Aug 6th, 2001 at 06:11:41 PM PST

	You sound stupid. Stupid people put up with a lot of shit, mainly because they are stupid.

	On-Line Dating (1.00 / 1) (#17)
	by Anonymous Reader on Tue Aug 7th, 2001 at 04:56:49 AM PST

	I have seldom read an article that was so close-minded and bigoted in my life, and my life is quite extensive. Yes, one must be careful when getting involved in an internet relationship, but I know of some of these relationships that have turned out wonderful. Please think before putting your foot in your mouth. Everyone on line is not there for the pornagraphic sites. I have personally never visited one of these sites, and I am on line every day. IMHO you need help.

	Wrong, people are more real online (none / 0) (#18)
	by typical geek on Tue Aug 7th, 2001 at 11:04:19 AM PST

	because when you chat online, it's only your minds meeting, and there's a level of intimacy there that you may nto get in real life. Now, I'm not saying this because I can't get any in real life, because I can. I still live in the city I went to high school in, and just the other day at a restaurant, one of my high school classmates waited on me. Jenni was quite the looker in high school, and though she's put on a few pounds, added some lines to her face, and has a hairstyle that belongs in the '80's, she's still a not bad looker. We talked a little about old times, and what we're doing now. She was full of complaints about her ex-husband who doesn't pay child support, and three bratty kids, and got really interested when I started talking about my new Ford Excursion (yeah, it hauls a lot of servers!) and my exciting job as an sa. She even gave me her phone number, but she didn't have an email addy, so I'm not too sure. Anyhow, I've felt more real connections with people online, especially after a cyber, if you know what I mean, and once I get NetMeeting working with my ne USB -cam you can be sure I won't be fooled by guys anymore impersonating girls. gcc is to software freedom as guns are to personal freedom.

	Drunken Cheerleaders (none / 0) (#39)
	by Anonymous Reader on Wed Jan 16th, 2002 at 10:19:59 PM PST

	Yeah I bet she never talked to you in highschool, but now that you are well off and she is stuck with kids, she wants someone to be her kids daddy. Tell the bitch to rot in hell!

	Scientific research (none / 0) (#20)
	by Anonymous Reader on Wed Aug 22nd, 2001 at 07:28:52 AM PST

	Take a random selection of 20 couples. Take photos of each person. Give these photos to and independant 3rd party and ask them to match up the couples. You'll find there's a really high hit rate. Why is this? Well because people know their station and know when people are out of their league. Ugly people marry ugly people. Well known fact. Likewise, the type of trash that make use of internet dating are just aiming for someone who is on a par with them. Ugly people can meet ugly people in seedy bars. But where is a complete social reject to meet other likeminded rejects? By definition, they won't find them in a social setting. This is why the internet is perfect. No only that, but by giving these freaks the net as an outlet, we reduce the chances of any of them wandering pathetically into our social circle. So don't write off internet dating as completely evil. It has it's uses.

	You make an excellent point... (none / 0) (#24)
	by elby on Wed Aug 22nd, 2001 at 02:46:56 PM PST

	It is true that the sort of people who would be looking for a date online deserve to find the kind of people who are looking for a date online. If those people want to date each other, I'm fine by it, for the reasons you outlined above. I just hope to warn away more well-adjusted people from the false lure of internet relationships. -lb

	Nice poll (none / 0) (#21)
	by westgeof on Wed Aug 22nd, 2001 at 10:45:00 AM PST

	If you're going to create such a biased poll, you could at least put in a choice for 'None of the Above,' or something along those lines. For the record, I would choose 'No, I'm already in a fullfilling relationship.' Also for the record, there really are people out there who do not use the internet solely for pornography. I believe you're mistaking the web-surfers with the spammers. (I generally get about 50-100 porn ads a week on me broadcast e-mail address.) Besides, I don't see how anything you find on ethe web can top the real thing... As a final note, I happen to disagree with about 90% of what you've written here, and I find it hard to even respect your viewpoint the way it is being presented. Where are the verifiable facts? I happen to know for a fact that at least some of the people who use the internet are not the ghastly uber-nerds you seem to think they are. Nearly all of my friends and family, people I see all the time and have known for years, spend at least some time on-line. We often keep up with each other through ICQ and AIM, and I personally don't think that makes them bad people. In fact, some of the most 'socially-acceptable' people I know spend quite a bit of time online, and I'm sure they're not out there hunting for porn. Believe it or not, it actually is possible to find a normal, well-adjusted person online. They aren't the dregs of the barrel, many of them are people who are simply tired of your 'glorious' bar scene, or people who aren't actively looking for a relationship. I happen to know personally a few couples who have gotten together this way, one of which will be getting married next spring, and in none of these cases are either of them ugly hopeless losers. After reading your article, I'm simply left wondering what kind of experience you've had that makes you think that online dating is simply a haven for pornography-loving, homosexual-rapist losers who can't cut it in the real world. Care to elaborate? As a child I wanted to know everything. Now I miss my ignorance.

	I didn't say that (none / 0) (#23)
	by elby on Wed Aug 22nd, 2001 at 02:45:25 PM PST

	I said that the people who are looking for relationships online are the dangerous one. The online world actually does have it's decent people. The shining paragon of truth that is adequacy.org is a perfect example, and shows that is is indeed possible to have decent communities online filled with decent people. As for your implication about my own life and experiences, I suggest you keep your conjecture to yourself. -lb

	Your still wrong... (none / 0) (#33)
	by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 18th, 2001 at 05:59:49 AM PST

	People who are looking for relationships online are not all dangerous like you state. Example: What if a person works a night shift and is a computer g33k heavily into gaming. Yet has a desire to have a girlfriend with the same interests as him. 1.This person dosen't view p0rn cause he just don't have the time not the care for it. 2.This person has lots of friends thru work that think he is an amazingly nice guy and very normal. 3.He is not fat nor ugly (although I don't know why that should matter). Question : Does this make him a dangerous person? Does this make him indecent? NO! IT MAKES HIM PERFECTLY NORMAL. AND NET DATING JUST SEEMS TO FIT HIS LIFESTYLE BETTER THAN GOING TO THE ALL GLOURIOUS BAR LOOKING FOR GIRLS. YOU FUCKING INCONSIDERATE BIAST FOOL.STFU

	A perfect example (none / 0) (#35)
	by elby on Wed Dec 19th, 2001 at 11:08:56 AM PST

	You, my friend are a perfect example of the unbalanced people online. While you try to act normal, it's obvious you can't even maintain this facade of normalcy for even the time it takes to post a message on an internet board. By the end of the message you are babbling on, screaming profanities. You are clearly unstable. I think, perhaps, this article hit too close to home. -lb

	a proverb of Hell (none / 0) (#22)
	by johnny ambiguous on Wed Aug 22nd, 2001 at 12:29:44 PM PST

	But imagine: the internet dating scene is composed of those who can not cut in in the real world dating scenes... Simply put, if you're looking for love on the internet, you're clearly scraping the bottom of the barrel. But, but, but, you're posting this article on a blog! Certainly no normal, sensible, decent person is going to be prowling about looking for love on the Internet. It only stands to reason that such a wholesome person is going to meet his or her life's one lasting love in church, or at the laundromat, or someplace similar. But hey, it's just as obviously true that no decent person is going to be caught dead at all wallowing through the unholy mire of the Internet! (With regret - obviously it weakens my argument to admit the existence of counterexamples, but I can't deny the blindingly obvious - I am forced to allow only one solitary exception for osm, 'cause, well, he's exceptional.) Noble eagles nest in the cool thin air of solitary mountaintops, while warty toads spawn in the loathsome mud of swamps. For each no matter how low what fits is fit: As the air to a bird or the sea to a fish, so is contempt to the contemptible. The crow wish'd every thing was black, the owl, that every thing was white. and people who stoop to look for love on the Internet (again, excepting osm) only get the thrashing they deserve; in the name of natural justice, you shouldn't object to that, elby. Yours WDK - WKiernan@concentric.net Getting into my Chevrolet Magic Fire, I drove slowly back to the office. - L. Rosen

	parents must protect their children (none / 0) (#25)
	by elby on Wed Aug 22nd, 2001 at 02:56:40 PM PST

	While full grown adults who know better should indeed be responsible for making their own decisions and living with their own mistakes, parents must know of the true nature of internet relationships. If good, moral parents remain uneducated, they can not protect their children from this new threat. Because of their low status on the social ladder, many of the people who would date on the internet will jump at the chance to drag an innocent, normal person into their seedy social environment. Everyone finds those that are better than them attractive. This means that nerdy, maladjusted teenagers would leap at the chance to trick innocent, nubile young women, perhaps even our daughters, into their depraved world of pornographic "relationships". -lb

	In-adequacy (none / 0) (#26)
	by Anonymous Reader on Thu Aug 30th, 2001 at 09:52:46 AM PST

	Thank goodness there are a few objective, unbiased, realists on this site. Otherwise, it should be named 'Inadequacy'. Too many people who think they are right and think that they know the truth about everything. It would be nice to have a real discussion about the topic of internet dating services, but the lot of you already know everything anyway. And according to the laws said experts live by, every single person using internet dating services is either a loser or a fake. How about looking in the mirror sometime?

	Ah, Romance (none / 0) (#28)
	by Anonymous Reader on Tue Sep 25th, 2001 at 01:45:30 PM PST

	All true, all true. But then again, internet dating has one, that i see as readily apparent, benefit: It requires a certain old school courtship. When chatting online, or what have you -- though u might have a picture -- you are defined by your words. By the emotions and thoughts that you can express. Few argue that writing is harder than talking. So in that sense, you are getting to know people who are perhaps... more socially adjusted, as expressed through their communication skills. hmm... Everywhere there are losers, online and realtime, but the online medium does give an oportunity for real communication, to woo from a distance with no.... phyical incentivies or drawbacks. Certainly, this has the spice of romance to it. As far as pornography goes... what wrong with p0rn? you've lost me. It is a goodness to enjoy the flesh. And photos of it. As grandfather was wont to say: go fuck urself, and good luck, --ken

	Online dating isn't that bad... (none / 0) (#31)
	by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 16th, 2001 at 05:23:00 AM PST

	Look. I think what was just said isn't all that true. I know of too many friends and family who have met other people over the net. Most of them are now either married, living together, really best friends, or have kids together and now are a family. And after hearing all this I have started to try online dating myself. And I must say it isn't all that bad. You get to meet tons of interesting people that you would never ever meet in your normal everyday life. I work a night shift and sometimes don't do much on the weekend but play online games. I do have friends that I goto bars with. So its not like I'm an anti-social person. I've tried to meet people at bars too. But that in my opinion is worse than online dating. 1. Because half the people you meet at bars are drunk anyways. 2. How much can you seriously get to know someone at a bar anyways?!? 3. Half the time people are only interested in looks. Thats what I have found out anyways from the bar scene. When online dating you talk to that person for a month or so, sometimes less. You get to know that person inside out. Sometimes they lie to make them selfs sound better than what they really are. But in the end when you meet you will find all that out eventually. So most people don't bother lieing just for that reason. But don't get me wrong. There are wrong ways to go about online dating. It should never be rushed. And one should always avoid "purely sexual incounters". That could always lead out to be some big thug wanting to rape your A-hole. All I'm really saying is that alot of what you said is BS and that online dating isn't for everyone. But for some of us its awesome. And there is nothing wrong with talking to someone for a long time. Swaping pictures. Then meeting at a public cafe to talk in person to see if you really connect. Thats all I'm saying. Latahz

	Dear Success Story (none / 0) (#38)
	by Anonymous Reader on Tue Jan 1st, 2002 at 01:05:10 PM PST

	Thanks for that comment, it gave me a little bit of hope. Ya see, I read the articles on here for humor value alone. They're so blatantly stupid that you can't help but laugh at them. But then I browse the comments, and I saw yours... See, I have a g/f online right now, and we're really trying to make it work. We're both 16 and trying to get our lisences. She lives about 200 miles away, and so we can't see eachother until we do (get our lisences). It's been a few months and we're really struggling to make it work... it's really hard to stay in contact over the net when you both have day to day lives to go on with. We would call eachother, and do when we get phonecards, but that's rarely... I won't be able to see her for another 4 months, but your success story has given me a little bit more hope for our own success: Thanks.