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 Koleen Brooks Has Got The Right Stuff

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
May 07, 2002
When you look at the Playboy shots of the glamorous Koleen Brooks, the first thing that you notice is that she has beautiful mammaries. The peachy boobs of Ms. Brooks go nicely with her red hair, toned body, and green eyes. But even in the most revealing picture, Ms. Brooks displays poise, verve, and -- dare I say it -- elan.

It is this quality, honed as a Dallas stripper, which helped her win the position of Mayor in the tiny town of Georgetown, Colorado, forty miles outside of Denver. Unfortunately, this same quality helped her lose her position in a recall election this spring.

View never-before-seen photos and read our exclusive interview with Koleen Brooks below.


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Shit or Get Off the Pot

Contrary to popular opinion, Brooks did not win last year's election based on her tits. She won because of her position on a central issue in the Western states - development.

While her opponents, organized into a group called "Historic Georgetown, Incorporated," have advocated prettying up the village of Georgetown into a Victorian quasi-theme park, Brooks, who now operates area beauty salons, has advocated bringing in real, meat-and-potatoes businesses in a last-ditch attempt to save this slowly dying former mining town.

Venus in Furs
Ms. Brooks has stood up to the poisonous ire faced by anyone who challenges the status quo in a small town. After showing up, terrified, at the local police station, she currently faces charges of falsifying evidence and filing false charges of assault by these same opponents. What's more, these opponents are the ones who brought Brooks' stripper past to the national consciousness.

After facing these charges, accusations about "loose morals," and admitting occasionally smoking pot, Ms. Brooks lost a recall election on April 2nd. But if she hadn't angered the advocates of twee carriage rides and gingerbread houses, we would not know about her magnificent mounds today. And that's why she's so adequate and controversial - she proves that even a stripper can have a brain, an agenda, and a plan.

All in all, Koleen Brooks is an ex-mayor for today's "postmodern age," turning failure into a stunning success. As I interviewed her by telephone, her assistant and friend Kerry Ann chimed in from time to time.

Perdida: What would you say is the role of a good mayor?

Koleen Brooks: I think the role of a good mayor is being a people person and getting people educated on whats going on in the government..making the community come together, knowing the politics and I think the mayor should represent the people.

P:were you a good mayor?

KB: We got a lot accomplished, with all the controversy and everything. I wanted to put Georgetown on the map. I got 180 ppl registered to vote, got the kids aware of what was going on, made the kids feel very important...The little kids from the grade school up to 6th grade. I want to do a community center, skateboarding. Our kids dont have anything to do and we need to work on our youth right now.

P: Would you consider an adult-oriented business in town ? Why or why not?

KB: I tried to get the hotel in, but nobody was telling me the truth. I had a developer and basically that didnt go through because Historic Georgetown, Incorporated wouldnt let us build it...I did all sorts of charity work for the kids, trying to get a biker convention, old antique cars coming in. No nudity oriented businesses in georgetown, thats not what I want to bring in..I will do a feature at Shotgun Willie's and set up a fund for women who do go to school.. and retirement fund for dancers.. That is actually in the works.

P: Who are your enemies, such as Georgetown Police Officer Dillard, and Historic Georgetown, Incorporated (HGI), and why are they so opoosed to you and your plans?

KB: The real issues came out in this campaign. That's why - they're the same enemies I had before I got elected. It's all good - I go thru town like I always have, people put their heads down and that's OK. Those are the people I knew were against me.

P: What happened between you and the town hall employees?

KB: The administrator could have made me the best mayor. He got in 3 months before I got elected. He went against me with the old guard because he doesnt care who he works for. My clerk, Phyllis, should have been helping me instead of making me go around in circles. I'm the head of the police department, according to the town's 1868 charter. I had a cop, Officer Dillard campaigning against me the whole 9 months that I was campaining. I got in office and said "lets let bygones be bygones." He said, "you are not my boss, we'll get you somehow."

Whatever. It's been a conspiracy the whole time with town hall, saying I am hard to work with, I was asking pointed questions and they were the ones that made this. I never went into town hall half the time, they were so mean!

P:So, it was basically the forces of conservatism, with regards to some local business people and the town hall resistant to change?

KB: That's what I ran on, change, just bringing people into town, making georgetown prosperous. We have 10 empty stores right now - we're dying! They {HGI} wanna select the people who come in, what kind of businesses they have and who they are. And if they make it impossible for anybody to start up a business, we've gotta do a "how can we help you" government instead of a "no you cant."

P Would you say that the skills of an adult entertainer and a mayor are similar?

KB: When I used to dance fifteen years ago, everybody talked about government, issues, the war... It's a pretty good background. I was a businesswoman before being mayor, I opened 5 hair salons. I had a goal. I was a single mother, I never went on aid. what I can bring is knowing the people and knowing the issues -- instead of {political opponents} slinging mud at me and getting me charged with all this stuff. There was no facts, it's all been dropped.

P: How does the Playboy shoot affect your trial and your planned 2003 mayoral run?

It's not going to have any impact. The people who are voting know the real issues and thats what they are gonna go on. If they want to be down on me for who I am and my life or whatever, I'm 37 years old. That Playboy shoot was a dream come true for me! I didn't do it while I was in office. Hustler asked me, Penthouse, Howard Stern. I held everything till I was out of office. I focused on being mayor, not that other stuff. And then Playboy called when they heard I lost {the recall election}, and thats when I did playboy. I did playboy 14 hours after they swore in the new mayor. I was in the air and I thought it was great. It boosted my ego. I know what I have to do and where I'm good at it, I'm not gonna go downhill, "strippers and all that," but they are good people. They do have a bad reputation.

P: Tell us more about the aid to adult entertainers.

KB: That was what I wanted to focus on, is that kind of charity fundraising. There are people who go to school and need some help. Strippers who do this for 14 years don't have any retirement or backup and I'd like to help them be a little bit more professional, using stripping as getting somewhere, fulfilling dreams so they can go to school in the daytime.

Kerry Ann, KB's friend and assistant: She was going to originally do charity at shotgun willie's, but one of the guys she originally danced for there, Troy, has 3 other places down in denver and he has offered 10K for her charity if she were to do a charity, be a feature, sign autographs.

P: Would you consider yourslef a role model?

KB: Of course!

P: More as a mayor, a businesswoman, or an adult entertainer?

KB: All 3 of them. But 'm not in office now, I can get back to being me now.

KA:: The genre she is most popular with now is the 16 to 25 year olds. She's been a role model to them in a way so that everybody is saying, "we can get involved with politics. She is a real person, she did it, so why can't we?"

KB: It doesn't matter who you are, if you're an electrician, an average person. The people who are in power - one came to town, he deep-fried hamburgers. Another one came to town, cleaned toilets. They all started out the same way and got together and got to higher places in Georgetown. But what they are doing is depressing Georgetown rather than helping it. HGI is buying up a lot of our prime real estate and the taxpayers pay for that. It's going to be a retirement community with other sources of income. People cannot afford to pay these taxes. HGI is buying up land for the purpose of restoring the Victorian house community for the Victorian tours.
Even when you come into town - the sign says it's "historic Georgetown." But it's a mining town! We have to get back to our real history. It would be great if HGI did functions and things for us. They own the park and they only do one thing, the Christmas market, there. They could be doing all kinds of stuff - having music in the summertime, art shows, but they have the final say. Their museum - the y only open it up for their own members. They have all this property and we're not benefiting from it. They are buying up our prime real estate and killing Georgetown. We need to be prosperous. You go to the town hall and try to get started, they choose if it's the right kind of business. We're dying. We have all these empty spaces and that's what HGI has been working for for the last 30 yrs. It wasn't just me - during the election, the whole town came together, the "old guard." I'm the "new guard" - young people are starting to come to me and be on my side and stuff, too. It's all going really good but the people who did help me are being blackballed, blacklisted with their businesses and stuff. HGI told them they are blacklisted, anybody who did anything and was a part of my campaign and supported me. They are telling people to boycott us. I'm like, "Oh my god, I've done this to everybody, they are having a hard time. But we have more people coming in to {a local restaurant} and I come in there, I sign autographs, I get stickers, it's my bar. I keep a good head about everybody.

P: So you've become a successful draw for tourism in yourself as a person?

Super Furry Animal
KB: I worked for this. I wanted to put Georgetown on the map... My opponents were getting caught in all the drama they put me through. It's crazy. They are slandering me and going on my lifestyle instead of the issues. but the real issues are coming out. It's not me, we have a great group that is working with us and these people do understand what is going on. Dexter {the guy who accused her of flashing patrons in his bar} left town {recently}. They said I was gonna leave but I'm not leaving, Dexter is. He didn't vote for me, got everyone in town against me and he left yesterday. They kept telling everyone during recall election that I'm stirring up all this shit and I'm gonna leave, and I lost a lot of supporters that way. I've lost almost 30 pounds, my friends seen all the stress I've gone through, and they didn't want to see me go through it. They are my friends but went on the other side with all the commotion.

P: How is your son dealing with it?

KB: He's doing great, one thing that was missing during the 1st campaign was my son. But he did come here for 2 weeks and work on the recall. my son supports me 100 percent. we grew up together. He's right behind me. He was my bodyguard after everything.

I love Georgetown and everything but I really gotta watch my back, I don't feel safe here, death threats and everything, I don't feel comfortable, I am trying to run around town and stuff but I have to call everybody when I'm going home..

KA: I give her my dog.

P: Would you consider yourself a feminist?

KB: No.

P: Why not?

KB: I''m just me. That's why I ran for mayor. I knew the people from when I grew up, and I am so glad. I knew when I got elected that they were gonna recall me in 6 months. and I knew it wasn't gonna be easy but theres nothing i could do.

P: why did you get into dancing when you wanted to make money?

KB: a lot of dancers don't have any education. they are trying to get their education by dancing and its good money. They go in to strip because they need to make a living for themselves. they are great, a lot of great women, doing their day jobs and then come and dance 8 hours. its very hard work.

P: does anyone do it as an art, a career?

KB: of course, there's people who have been there for 14 years, they do know that they'll make money and stick with it, but what happens after you leave that you don't have anything. basically they cant stop doing it.

P: What's good to do in Georgetown?

KB: Come into town, we have wonderful restaurants, historic mining tours, a railroad train, we have a lot of good things to get the people in here. We have the businesses and people need to support us!


Public service announcement. (4.50 / 2) (#13)
by tkatchev on Tue May 7th, 2002 at 01:11:37 PM PST
I would like to note that perdida is, indeed, a socialist. Filter all you read through that, please.

P.S. Please don't kick me.

Peace and much love...

yes. filter everything. (none / 0) (#15)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue May 7th, 2002 at 01:57:08 PM PST
if someone says "the sky is blue," you can't just believe it until you check their credentials and know what affiliations and biases they have. it isn't what is said that matters, it is who is saying it.

Exactly. (none / 0) (#16)
by tkatchev on Tue May 7th, 2002 at 02:20:06 PM PST
You're reading my mind.

Peace and much love...

Brain, Agenda, Plan (5.00 / 1) (#14)
by Icebox on Tue May 7th, 2002 at 01:27:44 PM PST
I can attest to the fact that strippers, more often than not, have brains and agendas and plans.

A good example is when my buddy and I took two strippers back to his place when we were in college. We fell alseep and when we woke up virtually everything in his house was gone. The TVs, VCRs, stereo, piggy bank, all that. They rolled us. You can't do something like that without at least a little forethought.

Strippers are great and all but people, obviously the voters of this town, get caught up in the boobs and butts that go along with them. If you want to go broke buying drugs for other people, hang out with strippers. If you want to keep your money get a non-stripping girl. Sometimes you'll find out with great boobs just the same.

But... (none / 0) (#17)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue May 7th, 2002 at 02:24:31 PM PST
Normal girls won't let you snort coke off of their tits... Strippers will.

Can't you just... (5.00 / 2) (#18)
by because it isnt on Tue May 7th, 2002 at 02:56:54 PM PST
drink it out of glass, like everyone else? For snorting a line off hookers' breasts, nothing beats Hypermints. They also clear your sinuses and relieve 90% of cold and flu symptoms!

Always read the label -- because it isn't

We expected this, of course. (3.00 / 1) (#20)
by RobotSlave on Tue May 7th, 2002 at 04:19:24 PM PST
Your impersonation of a nerd-puritan teenage woman-hater was amusing, but the joke is now officially old.

Further attempts to mimic the stereotypical teenage computer geek mommy-sex-fear complex will be regarded as lame crapflooding, and in all liklihood deleted.

This article is for grown-ups only.

© 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

Sorry slave (none / 0) (#21)
by Icebox on Wed May 8th, 2002 at 07:24:01 AM PST
Your impersonation of a psychoanalyst was amusing but it is equally old.

You obviously don't know many strippers. Maybe you are one of those guys who sits on pervert row in a dilapidated former two car garage with christmas lights strung along the 2x4s that form the handrails of the bare wood stage. In your head that dancer that licked your ear really likes you. She finds you attractive. Out of the hundreds of men who have strolled in during her shift you are the one she wants to take home. You know it, why else would she sit on your lap and make pointless conversation? Tuck a $5 next time she comes around and she'll be yours. I'm sure she is really innocent, with a heart of gold, and has been forced into this industry by the need for basic food, water, and shelter, not her desire to drive a convertible camaro and wear $80 designer jeans.

I'm grown enough to know that some guy who regurgitates a phrase from a talk show he once watched isn't qualified to call me anything. I'm just relating experiences here, some strippers robbed me, and I've bought not a few $20 rocks for them. There isn't anything more to it than that.

How sad. (5.00 / 1) (#22)
by dmg on Wed May 8th, 2002 at 09:33:19 AM PST
That anyone would expose themselves to the degradation of stripping in order to drive a convertable Camaro. Still, I suppose the desire to drive such a low-class vehicle indicates that the person has no concept of aesthetics in the first place, and is therefore probably well suited to auto-exposure as a career.

But a Camaro ? For goodness sake, even amongst the terrible selection of American vehicles there are better choices than that.

time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration.
-- MC Hawking

Yes, it is very sad. (none / 0) (#26)
by hauntedattics on Wed May 8th, 2002 at 03:34:24 PM PST
But how sad is Icebox for entertaining and, for goodness' sake, subsidizing these coked-up, low-rent, Camaro-loving chicks?

quite the contrary (none / 0) (#28)
by nathan on Wed May 8th, 2002 at 04:11:39 PM PST
LADY: Do you entertain sinful thoughts?

GROUCHO: Oh, certainly not. They entertain me.

Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

Yawn. (none / 0) (#27)
by RobotSlave on Wed May 8th, 2002 at 03:38:59 PM PST
Would you put down that licorice rope and find something servicable, please? I'm sure it seemed like a clever icebreaker, but can we move on, now?

If you don't have so much as a length of sash cord about, I'll show you how to braid a makeshift toy out of your shoelaces.

Once we've got the equipment in hand, I'll show you a proper grip, and then we'll go through a few exercises to see if we can do anything about this regrettable ham-fingered pawing that you, like so many beginners, have mistaken for domination.

Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. Why does the bottom always end up doing all the work? It's a good thing I'm patient.

Oh, and two other words for you: new underwear. OK?

© 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

Haha (5.00 / 1) (#29)
by perdida on Wed May 8th, 2002 at 05:05:19 PM PST
When are we going to see the definitive Adequate Guide to BDSM..?

This is what democracy looks like

Damn the Jews! (none / 0) (#31)
by tkatchev on Thu May 9th, 2002 at 12:59:15 AM PST
Why is that every single Jewish person I ever knew had only one thing on his/her mind: pornography.

Somebody please explain, this confuses me. One coworker I used to have went so far as to use the word "pornography" as an indeterminate noun to designate anything uncertain. (Like, for example, if he had a hard time reading somebody's handwriting, he would say "I can't read this pornography.") Very creepy in a Freudian sort of way.

Peace and much love...

Oh, God, yes! (5.00 / 1) (#32)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu May 9th, 2002 at 01:28:10 AM PST
Yes, Yes Yes!

Damn those dirty Jews! Lock them up! Restrain them! Punish them! Dirty! Dirty, dirty Jews! Put them behind barbed wire!

Oh, god, yes! Tell me exactly what you want to do to those dirty, filthy Jews! Tell me how you will confine them in camps! Tell me exactly, in precise detail, please, the manner in which you will make them confess to their depravtity! Tell me how you will threaten to hurt them!

And list their sins! List them in detail! I can't wait for you to explain, in minute, convincing detail, the way in which every act and word of the Jew is sexual!

This is very, very important! Explain! Explain now!

Steps to success in life: (none / 0) (#33)
by tkatchev on Thu May 9th, 2002 at 05:00:48 AM PST
  • Read my post again. (Not just the title.)
  • Get a brain.
  • Go kill yourself.

Honestly, I belive some people should be locked up in the zoo. Or, at the very least, they shouldn't display their idiocy in public.

Peace and much love...

don't forget (none / 0) (#38)
by nathan on Thu May 9th, 2002 at 12:04:15 PM PST
Americans and Germans are also into some nasty-ass pr0n. Especially the sort featuring bimbettes from the former USSR. It probably has something to do with sexual impotences brought upon through eating chemically adulterated foods.

Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

I disagree. (none / 0) (#40)
by Illiterate Bum on Thu May 9th, 2002 at 12:46:36 PM PST
The AR kind of read your post. He just jumped to conclusions. It was also rather funny.

I mean, honestly, if people didn't display their idiocy in public, we all wouldn't be laughing nearly as much as we do now. I'm all for idiotic public displays.


"...normal, balanced people do not waste time posting to weblogs." --tkatchev

Simple Explanation (none / 0) (#34)
by bc on Thu May 9th, 2002 at 05:25:04 AM PST
It is because they are circumcised. Desensitised, the Jewish male must turn to all manners of unnatural stimulation. One outlet is to turn yourself on using the power of the mind. Given that studies have already shown circumcised men masturbate more, we can see that of course Jewish males must be obsessed with pornography.

Not only that, but Jews dominate the world of porn itself. Not only in terms of financial backing, but in terms of acting in it too. One theory is that Jews are so culturally attuned to social rejection and being cast out of European countries and so on, that they are amazingly unlikely to feel embarassed at the thought of acting in a porn film.

This is what happens when the mind is used too much. Sex should be a purely physical act, enjoyed sensually and swiftly once a month, not thought about and fantasised about all the time like this.

♥, bc.

I don't buy it. (none / 0) (#35)
by tkatchev on Thu May 9th, 2002 at 07:22:10 AM PST
No, from my experience, there is something very Freudian in this preoccupation with porn -- that is, it's almost as if a social and psychological point being made through pornography.

I can't figure it out logically, though -- this is just a intuitive guess for me.

Can anybody who's more closely attuned with Jewish culture shed some light on this? Please?

Peace and much love...

Perdida's Jewish? (nt) (none / 0) (#36)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu May 9th, 2002 at 07:54:32 AM PST

Racsist (1.00 / 2) (#39)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu May 9th, 2002 at 12:14:15 PM PST
You think your word is right!? I hope you burn in hell with hitler


great work, perdida! (4.83 / 6) (#19)
by nathan on Tue May 7th, 2002 at 03:12:21 PM PST
Thank you, and thank you to Ms. Brooks as well. The Adequacy could do with more content of this quality.

Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

A step too far (5.00 / 2) (#24)
by bc on Wed May 8th, 2002 at 01:13:51 PM PST
I am very sceptical that women should be allowed to pose in this lewd fashion to garner votes.

We already know, from the example of people like Cicciolina in Italy, that the exposure of female flesh can completely destroy rational thought in men.

Politics is a supposedly rational discourse for the public good, and it can only be cheapened when it is accompanied by private satisfaction and titillation of this nature.

Although I don't support the wearing of yashmaks and such as our muslim friends do, I must admit that a certain degree of comportment must be desirable in women who are public servants.

I would like to see a set of rules created detailing what length of hemline and lowness of top women in public, political positions should be allowed to have. As I firmly believe in equal opportunities, I would like to see this applied to men as well; I suspect that Jesse Ventura may have gained a significant proportion of the female vote thanks to his greased, manly chest.

Man is a political Animal, but he is also an animal, a very sexual animal. We must not allow these spheres to become mixed, and the only way to prevent it is to demand proper dress codes from our public representatives.

♥, bc.

and good riddance (5.00 / 2) (#25)
by Lonnie on Wed May 8th, 2002 at 01:27:38 PM PST
It's an excellent thing this harlot was removed from the mayor's office. Here in the greatest country on earth, we look to our politicians as role models, and expect only the best behavior out of them. As a young boy growing up in a small town, the mayor of our town was the highest local government official, and through him my first impressions of our great republic were made.

I don't think anyone would disagree that strippers and other sex workers are not something our children should be exposed to, and allowing someone like this into a public office would tarnish the image of our other excellent public officials.

Not that I allow my children to use the internet, but I can just imagine how confused my son would be were he to find naked pictures of one of our local politicians. How are you supposed to respect a woman who puts ona disgusting display like that?

And the sort of business she'd bring into the town? I imagine they'd be better off without it. Why, just looking at all the problems surrounding her election shows what a destabilizing influence she is.

Good riddance, I say.


Exactly (5.00 / 2) (#30)
by First Incision on Wed May 8th, 2002 at 09:33:45 PM PST
In the town where I grew up, stripping for money was something done by the mayor's daughter. Not the actual mayor.
Do you suffer from late-night hacking? Ask your doctor about Protonix.

You've got to be kidding (none / 0) (#37)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu May 9th, 2002 at 10:04:23 AM PST
<sarcasm> oh yea, Bill Clinton was an icon of dignity -- a real role model <end sarcasm>

Well (none / 0) (#41)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun May 12th, 2002 at 01:20:43 PM PST
Why do you think we impeached him?

Koleen on welfare? (none / 0) (#42)
by and Kushman on Thu May 16th, 2002 at 01:01:15 AM PST
In the article, Koleen says that she never became a single mother on welfare. Of course not. Koleen fails to inform the media that her ex-husband is very wealthy lawyer in Detroit, Ernie Brooks, who paid her close to $1 million to leave town. I don't think they give welfare to ex-strippers with a million bucks, do they?

ernie brooks? (none / 0) (#43)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed May 29th, 2002 at 05:37:50 PM PST
dustin was 12 when koleen married ernie...get a grip. and one million dollars???? get a tighter grip ...he wanted her to stay.


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