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America vs. God
America, easily 51%
America, by a nose 3%
A draw 11%
God, by a nose 2%
God, easily 31%

Votes: 127

 America is Better than God

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Jul 09, 2002
If you've not heard of the recent Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals ruling that the Pledge of Allegiance is unconstitutional because of the presence of the phrase "under God", you are either living in a cave or are a drooling vegetable. Since both of these conditions would seem to make it impossible for a person to read, I shall assume that our august readership is entirely familiar with this particular decision; suffice it to say that the court ruled that "under God" violated the First Amendment of the United States Constitution, which prevents any official establishment of religion.

I believe that the court made the correct ruling, though not necessarily for the reasons that they provided. It's true that the phrase "under God" is problematic, but it doesn't need to be completely removed... just modified. And here's how it needs to be modified.


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"Under God" needs to be replaced with "over God."

Let's be very clear about one thing here: We are the U-nited Fucking States of America. We are not "under" anybody or anything, God included. God may have flexed His muscles a few thousand years ago, but in the intervening era, the Children of Liberty have learned a few tricks that even God was never able to pull off. The recent silence from God has been deafening, and there's a reason for that; He knows better than to pick a fight that He cannot win. The ability to turn random people into pillars of salt and send swarms of locusts to ruin crops is a pretty cute parlor trick, to be sure. But cute parlor tricks only get you so far.

Let's see how things stack up, shall we?

  • AMERICA: Has the ability to destroy the entire world dozens of times over and render it all an uninhabitable nuclear wasteland for tens of thousands of years
  • GOD: Was only able to dump lots of water on the world for a period of 40 days. Water! Ooh, I'm positively quaking! Mercy, Lord... Mercy! Pardon me while I get out the air pump so I can inflate my fucking water wings!

  • AMERICA: Airlifted hundreds of thousands of ethnically-correct and delicious MREs (Meals Ready to Eat) to starving Afghans during the opening days of Operation Enduring Freedom. These people needed real food, and America was up to the challenge.
  • GOD: Was only able to produce manna for the Israelites during their extended tour of the desert. Manna, for Christ's sake. What kind of deity has 40 years to perfect His culinary skills and can't do any better than manna? I'm quite certain that Moses and company would have appreciated some baby back ribs and an ice-cold Budweiser from time to time, but apparently this was outside of God's reach. It is indeed a shame that America was not around at this period in history; we could have provided the Israelites with some real nourishment.

  • AMERICA: Can rain immense destructive power down on any area of land accurate to the diameter of a nickel by pushing a single button from thousands of miles away
  • GOD: Is forced to use such unreliable mechanisms as bolts of lightning, biological plagues, and ferocious bears as a delivery system for vengeance. Pardon me if I'm suitably unimpressed. All of this might have been wicked cool when the most advanced weapon that humans were able to produce was a very sharp stick, but we're past all of that now. We've got Tomahawk cruise missiles... if God is still sticking with the whole lightning gig, He's basically fucked.

  • AMERICA: Saves its citizens by providing them with tangible income after they retire, become unemployed, or face unsurmountable health care costs. Even the poorest Americans are much better off than the richest citizens of 90% of the rest of the world.
  • GOD: Provides (unsubstantiated) claims that people will be saved from (unsubstantiated) torture by believing in Him; requires 10% of personal income as a tithe to pay for said salvation. Does not provide unemployment or health care emergency assistance despite the need for all this money. One must ask: what does an omnipotent deity need with American currency? Or, as the venerable Captain Kirk once put it: "What does God need with a starship?"
I could go on, but I feel that the point has been sufficiently established. For decades, the American people have been described as "God-fearing", as if such a description was a positive way to express the collective mindset of the United States. No, I feel it is more apt to describe God as "America-fearing", for it is clear that if He were to (unwisely) get Himself embroiled in a conflict with us, He would get his Bronze-age ass kicked from here to Cleveland and back.

Does this make us, as a nation, immoral or irreverent? I don't think so. Biologists tell us that evolution is not directed and that there is no "final goal" that nature seeks to attain. That may be true. But a necessary byproduct of evolution is that evolving societies tend to become more ordered, structured, and powerful as time marches on. In our case, we have transcended the abilities of our former deity and He has become our inferior cousin. It is hateful and unpatriotic to suggest that the United States of America should play second fiddle to anyone, be they nation, state, or deity.

With this in mind, I invite you to join me in reciting our new Pledge of Allegiance:

I pledge allegiance to the flag
of the United States of America
and to the Republic, for which it stands
One nation, over God
Indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.
Thank you for your time.


A-merica to that! (3.00 / 2) (#2)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Jul 9th, 2002 at 09:30:38 PM PST
We righly won't stand for our soldiers being tried before some international kangaroo court made up of anti-American scoundrels like Iraq or the French, why then should we abide by every American citizen being subect to the judgement of some unelected entity that hides His methods and motives behind the excuse of "mysterious ways"? We have to stand up to those that want to undermine our sovereignty, whether a little or for all eternity.

It's sad how far we have allowed those who hate our freedom to subject us to tyranny. Every since they started sneaking God into our American institutions during the 1950s -- with little resistance from a mostly apathetic and Elvis-bothered American public -- the agents of God have been becoming more and more bold. Today, terrorist networks of God-supporters operate in our country with impunity. Why is it that someone like Pat Robertson can use our nation's airwaves to threaten Florida with hurricanes if it doesn't cave in to the demands of God and not be taken into custody by Federal authorities and brought before a military tribunal? It's madness and it has to end!

USA needs not use its divine force to squish bugs. (none / 0) (#4)
by MessiahWWKD on Wed Jul 10th, 2002 at 08:38:50 AM PST
Why is it that someone like Pat Robertson can use our nation's airwaves to threaten Florida with hurricanes if it doesn't cave in to the demands of God and not be taken into custody by Federal authorities and brought before a military tribunal? It's madness and it has to end!

America allows Pat Robertson to speak drivel because America is not afraid of his pathetic threats. To America, God and Pat Robertson are nothing more than little puppies with big barks. Some might even feel it would be unfair if America exercised its divine force against such a weak threat.
Guardian angel, heavenly friend, walk with me 'til the journey's end.

Bravo, gbd. (4.00 / 1) (#3)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Jul 10th, 2002 at 02:27:32 AM PST
Normally I whinge and moan, but this is fantastic stuff.

The only problem I have with it where you say "America can rain immense destructive power down on any area of land accurate to the diameter of a nickel". Now, given recent events, either this statement is inaccurate, or the Americans are evil bastards who prefer bombing civilians and allies to bombing the enemy.

Let's get this straight -- American "can't find" a man they actually met in hospital with kidney troubles, a blind man and a cripple, but they have no trouble bombing Red Cross units, weddings and Canadians? Something doesn't add up. -- because it isn't

Thank you for your contribution. (none / 0) (#6)
by dmg on Wed Jul 10th, 2002 at 09:20:46 AM PST
Normally I whinge and moan

Acceptance is the first stage of a cure...

American "can't find" a man they actually met in hospital with kidney troubles, a blind man and a cripple, but they have no trouble bombing Red Cross units, weddings and Canadians?

You forgot Chinese Embassies, and British troops. Of course, it turns out that the Chinese Embassy missile was totally intentional, and so how do we know that the wedding party were not Taliban terrorist sympathisers ? One must read between the lines. America has super-accurate weaponry. America kills someone with aforementioned weaponary. By mistake ? Of course not. But the public must always be given the bad news with a positive spin. For all we know, Bin Laden himself might have been attending that wedding. If he was, would a casualty rate of 100 innocent Afghanis be justified if it meant no more terror ? The public might be squeamish about making judgement calls like that, fortunately for us, and the rest of the world, the American Military is not.

America is not "detail oriented". We paint our landscape of freedom with a broad brush. Occasionally there is some unavoidable collateral damage. You will never eliminate that completely. You might want to think about your repressed life under a Nazi regime, which would have been your lot had we had not bailed your limey asses out in WWII.

time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration.
-- MC Hawking

Now look here (none / 0) (#25)
by PotatoError on Thu Jul 11th, 2002 at 10:53:00 AM PST
If it wasn't for the Germans, you Yanks wouldn't have survived a British invasion. So please stop branding them "Nazis" when they saved your ass.

As for the bombing of British troops at the chinese embassy, I think you should be ashamed at that your country even considered taking those innocent civilian lives just on the off chance that Bin Laden was there (and lets face it what the hell would Bin Laden be doing at a Chinese Wedding?).


I see we have a Nazi Sympathizer here. (none / 0) (#26)
by MessiahWWKD on Thu Jul 11th, 2002 at 12:29:15 PM PST
If we used your logic during World War II, Hitler and Japan would have won. After all, it's "shameful" to take one hundred trivial lives to stop a threat that is destroy one million purposeful lives.
Guardian angel, heavenly friend, walk with me 'til the journey's end.

Yeah, trivial lives and purposeful lives. (none / 0) (#36)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Jul 15th, 2002 at 07:09:57 AM PST
It's shameful to take 100 Jew's lives to save millions of blonde haired, blue eyed white Christians.

You are clearly an idiot. (none / 0) (#41)
by MessiahWWKD on Tue Jul 16th, 2002 at 07:24:29 AM PST
There is a difference in Germany committing acts of genocide and America destroying a few innocent lives. Unlike the Germans, we don't want to destroy innocent lives, but we understand that we must if we want to save not only millions from the terrorists, but the world itself from a nuclear war. On the other hand, the Jews were doing nothing to the Germans to warrant such actions against them, making the actions the Germans committed against their superiors lack justification. I'm sure you don't understand this though, as it is clear you lack the ability to look at the world in anything but black and white.
Guardian angel, heavenly friend, walk with me 'til the journey's end.

Black and white judaism. (none / 0) (#43)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Jul 16th, 2002 at 12:42:44 PM PST
Of course, the small matter that Jews were heavily influencing European and world trade to their financial advantage and were using the funds to perpetuate their Zionist empires. The Nazis saved us from the Jews. Look at them now - not so fucking uppity, are they? The same thing with the Catholic Church since King Billy, Japan since Hiroshima, and the Logan Airport since September 11th. But you can't see that, because:

a) you clearly get all your ideas from the Jew-controlled American media and
b) you can't see these issues in anything other than black and white. Nazis are evil and Jews are great. Even Jews who go around kiling and terrorising Arab women and children. End of story.

No (5.00 / 1) (#30)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Jul 12th, 2002 at 10:19:58 PM PST
> For all we know, Bin Laden himself might have
> been attending that wedding. If he was, would a
> casualty rate of 100 innocent Afghanis be
> justified if it meant no more terror ?

No. Innocent deaths are never justified. And in this case, killing Bin Laden isn't a magic spell to end terrorism. Killing less innocents may be a beginning though.

less/fewer (none / 0) (#31)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Jul 13th, 2002 at 01:04:46 AM PST
Killing less innocents may be a beginning though.

You ought to have said "Killing fewer innocents may be a beginning though." "Fewer" is used instead of "less" when describing a discrete quantity that may be counted. Please don't criticise the War On Terror until you have learned to use English grammar properly.

Shut up. (none / 0) (#44)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Jul 17th, 2002 at 02:00:40 AM PST
No, really. This is getting pretty old. Try refuting this poster's claims instead of criticizing his grammar. You are no longer clever - just an ass.

You don't get it, do you ? (none / 0) (#45)
by dmg on Wed Jul 17th, 2002 at 03:57:59 AM PST
How can one give any credibility to the views of an ill-educated barely literate moron who cannot even understand basic English grammar ?

There's no point in refuting the arguments of someone who cannot spell, they are unlikely to have anything of merit to say, however by pointing out their illiteracy, we at least offer them some hope of bettering themselves.

time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration.
-- MC Hawking

Hush you. (none / 0) (#47)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Jul 17th, 2002 at 08:06:17 PM PST
This is no l337 h4x0r that can't get a handle on the English language. Confusing "less" and "few" is a trivial mistake. Otherwise, the poster's grammar was fairly solid.

However, your butchery of the English tongue cannot go unnoticed. The last sentence of your post should have read:

"There's no point in refuting the arguments of someone who cannot spell, as they are unlikely to have anything of merit to say. However, by pointing out their illiteracy, we at least offer them some hope of bettering themselves."

Never heard of a comma splice, have you? Ass.

Grammar matters (none / 0) (#46)
by Amitabh Bachan on Wed Jul 17th, 2002 at 04:00:07 AM PST
because if you are an incoherent clown then nobody takes your arguments seriously.

Who could resist? (none / 0) (#39)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Jul 15th, 2002 at 10:08:48 PM PST
Bombing Canadians? What are the Canucks going to do? I'll tell you, they'll sit there and take it! Because, unlike Americans, they're a nation of pussies.

Sure, bombing hospitals is unfortunate, but then again, the Taliban should never have used them for military purposes. They learned that you can't stop the American juggernaut, no matter where you hide your guns.

Canadians aren't all bad. (none / 0) (#40)
by MessiahWWKD on Tue Jul 16th, 2002 at 07:11:29 AM PST
Let's not forget that Canadian women, except pseudo-Canadians such as Alanis Morisette and Celine Dion, have great boobs.
Guardian angel, heavenly friend, walk with me 'til the journey's end.

Cool its the Anti-christ! (1.00 / 2) (#5)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Jul 10th, 2002 at 09:19:03 AM PST
Hey so how are you going to fix the middle east problem? You are the fucken anti-christ its your fucken job to save the day then screw the people who followed you blindly like a fucken donkeys. Sorry but I find this a joke. Over god is like saying "My knife will beat your 50000 pound bomb." When I paint a picture or write a story I can just as easly burn it compelely destorying it. This world is gods master piece, he can make it, edit it, and also destroy it faster then he made it. So I am going to use the ago old strategy... Hold your balls and hope.

The Final Solution to the Middle East Conflict (none / 0) (#10)
by araym on Wed Jul 10th, 2002 at 11:47:58 AM PST
Nuke 'em all and let Allah sort it out.

In fact, every religious person should be killed and take their rightful place in heaven while the atheists (or Satanists as they prefer to be called) rule Earth (Hell). Praise Jesus!

Bodily Harm? (none / 0) (#13)
by Pseudo on Wed Jul 10th, 2002 at 01:18:34 PM PST
What the hell is it with guys?

WHen things get tough just "grab your balls and hope." how silly is that anyway.(giggles)

First of all if god did exist and was all powerful as you say. I don't think the protective covrage of your hands over your scotum would do much good. If he wanted them he'd have them.

Second of all wouldn't it be better to protect hmmmm say, your HEAD (the one on your neck). Mabey you would start to use the age old duck and cover.


You're an idiot! (none / 0) (#18)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Jul 10th, 2002 at 08:35:17 PM PST
He never proposed a solution to the middle east problem...and God hasn't either...God started the whole mess anyway: People who self-righteously believe in HIM start killing each-other over a little fucking spot of land, and it's this guy's fault? You're an idiot. And you're part of the problem.

He wrote a humorous essay. I bet you couldn't get past the 4th page of Swift's "A modest proposal" because you thought that Swift was an immoral child-eater...or you've never even read the essay and thus have no fucking idea of what I'm talking about. Why don't you do something with your life and ask your parents to put you back in school to learn something?

Don't even purport to be self-righteous, because you're just a measly little dumb-ass human in a small, insignificant corner of the universe on your little "GoD-inspired" crusade to stomp out Satan and his little unbelieving minions, aren't you?

Get a fucking clue, and pull yourself out of that damned fundamentalist black hole you're in.

No (1.00 / 1) (#7)
by Right Hand Man on Wed Jul 10th, 2002 at 09:37:05 AM PST
Of course the assertion that the United States of America is greater than God is false, despite the relative greatness of our empire when compared to all of our contemporaries as well as every other state that has existed throughout the course of history.

This should be obvious to anyone who considers why we have become so great, let alone thinks seriously about the true power of the Lord. We exist in our present state because God has allowed it. Possibly even directed it. The government of the US allows its citizens the freedom to worship Him, thus he smiles upon our country. It is safe to say that the United States has the highest concentration of upstanding Christians that you'll find anywhere, thus it follows that we hold the top position in the hierarchy of men.

Look at the third world. These people, by and large, worship animals or grass or the moon or some such. God helps those who help themselves and He isn't going to allow a group of whackos like that to gain power. The former Soviet Union is yet another example. Those people were ground down under the weight of Communism, an inherently God hating form of government, and look how they ended up. Or Israel. The entire misguided non-Christian Middle East wants to see that small country destroyed. How could they withstand such an onslaught without divine intervention? The false monkey god doesn't appear to be helping out the aggressors too much, but God, the real God, isn't having any trouble keeping them at bay.

Yes, American is great. Relatively great. We could easily annihilate everything on the planet if we so chose, but God's power is so great that the human mind cannot even begin to comprehend it. We should put serious effort into taking the steps necessary to prevent our great country from falling out of favor with Him, and banning mention of Him in our Pledge of Allegiance is a step in the wrong direction. Control of this country must be forcibly wrestled from the wretched left before it is too late, or we'll find ourselves sitting in the middle of a smoking crater with the world's next God loving country staring down at us.

"Keep your bible open and your powder dry."

Dear Religious Nut: (none / 0) (#15)
by flowers on Wed Jul 10th, 2002 at 02:39:24 PM PST
Why did Jesus turn down the position of King of the Jews? Because his Kingdom is not of this world. God doesn't care about your pathetic country or any other, including Israel. America, on the other hand -- America does care about Israel. That's why Israel stands against its Islamic neighbours.

In summary: God doesn't care about Israel, America does. Of course, to the average American (which is just what you have so richly demonstrated yourself to be), America is God, whatever they would like to convince others or themselves to believe.

In fact, that's the real reason you should omit any reference to God from your Pledge of Allegiance. It's self-referential and paradoxical to place America above or below itself. A is A.

PS: God is irrelevant, and so are you.
I have unprotected sex with multiple anonymous partners.

No (none / 0) (#21)
by Right Hand Man on Thu Jul 11th, 2002 at 06:00:47 AM PST
A quick read of the bible should set you straight as there are numerous examples of God taking particular interest in the conduct of various states and their inhabitants. SImply because His methods are not readily obvious to your untrained moral eye doesn't mean that He isn't at work.

Embrace God and rid yourself of your ignorance.

"Keep your bible open and your powder dry."

Oh, I'm sorry. (5.00 / 1) (#23)
by flowers on Thu Jul 11th, 2002 at 08:12:19 AM PST
I thought you were Christian, not Jewish.

I didn't see Jesus saying things like, "Okay, everybody: Go to war with the Romans! You'll win! I'm on YOUR side!" This despite the fact that this is exactly what many people wanted to hear him say.

Sure, I Am That I Am really got embroiled in Earthly conflict, but I think he either got bored of that or realized how wrong he was. The New Covenant supplanted the Mosaic Law, and in the same way, His methods changed. Supporting a nation made sense when the supported nation and His chosen people were the same people, but now? Ever since Peter's vision opened the door for the message of God's Kingdom to be given to the Samaritans and the gentiles, God has favored no nation over any other. The Israelites lost their pride of place because they were arrogant.

Final thoughts:
  1. A quick read of the Bible never set anybody straight on anything. It is a collection of unethical ramblings that is so nonsensical that even among those who believe it is divinely inspired, there are huge schisms regarding its interpretation.
  2. My eye is not moral. It, like the rest of me, is amoral.
  3. My eye is not untrained, either. I know the Bible, but it is milk. I've set aside the things of the boy.

I have unprotected sex with multiple anonymous partners.

Logic: The Bane of All Religion (1.00 / 1) (#19)
by Carnage on Wed Jul 10th, 2002 at 11:42:40 PM PST
What Right Hand Man is using is called a Panglossian Paradigm (which is logically false). Basically what the Panglossian Paradigm says is that all things are the way they are for the best possible reason (The Panglossian Paradigm comes from Prof. Pangloss in Candide by Voltaire). So whatever happens can be explained by if its a good situation, God made it that way, or if it's a bad situation then God made it that way because eventually it will turn out good.

Well, wake up! The universe is not purpose based. We as humans are the only things that assign purpose to help comfort our fear of the unknown. Other animals just go on surviving rather than trying to explain their existence.

The United States is in its current position because of planning and luck and not because God either held back his thunderbolt from killing the founding fathers or opened up the Heavens before them and gave them the Constitution. And the whole explaination of the fall of the Soviet Union, well I'm sure God ment well when destroying what little infrastructure there was in Eastern Europe and Russia because now the people can be free to starve and bask unsheltered in God's glory.

If anyone has any replies that do not include dogmatic phrases, quoting scripture, or repeating yourself, please respond.

Logic: Somewhat lacking (none / 0) (#20)
by walwyn on Thu Jul 11th, 2002 at 05:27:25 AM PST
It is strange that you should find it necessary to regale us mindnumbingly boring details we are all very familiar with vis-avis Francois Marie's novella, yet fail to describe in any detail such phantasmagorical literary concepts as 'America' and 'Russia'.

No Pseudo-Intellectualism Allowed (none / 0) (#22)
by gzt on Thu Jul 11th, 2002 at 07:51:42 AM PST
First, it's not quite a "Panglossian Paradigm", it's slightly different. His argument is not about "the best of all possible worlds" or anything along those lines. He is arguing that God rewards Christian Americans and punishes grass-worshiping pagans. He is not arguing there is any purpose in life. And it should be named after Leibniz, not Pangloss.

The "Panglossian Paradigm" you describe is not "logically false". Please know something about what logic is.

Also, you do not know what dogmatism is. You, sir, are a dogmatist. There's nothing wrong with it, but you should realize it.

Take it easy, chief.


More about Panglossian Paradigm (none / 0) (#28)
by gzt on Thu Jul 11th, 2002 at 02:32:38 PM PST
Looking over this, I felt the need to both correct myself and correct the original person.

While the original poster's argument definitely wasn't a "Panglossian Paradigm", the second dude was mistaken about the definition of
"Panglossian Paradigm".

"Best of all possible worlds" arguments should be named after Leibniz.

Panglossian Paradigm: when a secondary phenomenon is seen as the cause instead of, say, a use of available resources. It's used by pretentious evolutionists and other pretentious liberalists. It has no relevance whatsoever to this conversation.

At least, I hope I got that right. As a good little boy, I try not to pollute my mind with too much God-hating liberalist nonsense.

Good point (none / 0) (#32)
by phantam on Sat Jul 13th, 2002 at 01:58:31 AM PST
I personally feal the same way, humans in general seek to explain all possibilites because of the fear of the unknown. As for that book i have no idea cause i seem to be on a much lower level of education at the moment (working on bachelors of science) but the fact remains that the explanation that the United States is on its up and up is because it plans it that way, false planning and preperation leads to september 11th events... I wonder how happy and chearful those thousands of families that lost individuals are... Now the question is was it god that reigned down laser guided bombs to destroy Al Quaude troops... i don't believe it was i believe it was the US Military dealing out punishment. The world isnt as deep as you think it is so don't over read it... Just because the US kills a group of nonchristians that bombed the WTC doesnt mean it was god that made them do it or even wanted them to do it ... it was human will. (I'm currently writing a paper on my theorys behind the entire random nogod chance theory)

did you know (3.00 / 2) (#8)
by topaztic on Wed Jul 10th, 2002 at 10:37:50 AM PST
that 98% of all statistics quoted are made up on the spot?

speak for yourself (none / 0) (#11)
by Pseudo on Wed Jul 10th, 2002 at 01:04:26 PM PST
I have spent many years now learning the delicate nature of grossly manipulating statistics. I take offence to the fact that people think they are just made up.

No fuck way I spend das to get my math to reflect the answer I/Boss wants to hear.

You take your un-truths for granted...


so you work for nida? (none / 0) (#27)
by topaztic on Thu Jul 11th, 2002 at 01:42:34 PM PST

Calling out T Reginald Gibbons (2.00 / 1) (#9)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Jul 10th, 2002 at 11:33:21 AM PST

As a fine upstanding Christian father with family values, I 'd like to see your take on this story.

While I cannot speak for Mr. Gibbons .. (5.00 / 1) (#14)
by seventypercent on Wed Jul 10th, 2002 at 02:29:43 PM PST
.. as a man of similar moral fiber, I find this "story" to be completely outrageous. As an editor here, I would like to publically go on the record: I believe has completely crossed the line here, and I would not be opposed to deleting this outright. Mr. "gbd" may one day regret threatening to "kick God's Bronze-age ass"; one can only hope that Truth finds its way to him before that happens.

That's all that I'm going to say.

Red-blooded patriots do not use Linux.

If you are so outraged (none / 0) (#16)
by Amitabh Bachan on Wed Jul 10th, 2002 at 03:28:32 PM PST
why don't you get RobotSlave on the case. I'm sure he could constructively edit gdb's diary entry so that all the blasphemous content was stripped and what remained displayed in pretty flashing colours.

Question, what about the currency? (5.00 / 1) (#12)
by Pseudo on Wed Jul 10th, 2002 at 01:11:55 PM PST
I have no problem with this rulling. Technically it is correct and although it is a bit on the nit-picky side. I would rather uphold my personal freedoms than not have them.

However, does this mean that all of our currancy is going to have to be re-issued. If the pledge of alliegence can't include under god than can currency say "in god we trust?"


vegetable eating blasphamy (5.00 / 1) (#17)
by Slubgob on Wed Jul 10th, 2002 at 07:46:50 PM PST
as quoted from romans 14;2 -

one man's faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whos faith is weak, eats only vegetables

it clearly states that those with faith eat more meat, fruits, candy and grain than all others. therefore those who eat more meat, fruits and candy have more faith. by pure, infallable logic, those who eat only vegetables are non-believing anti-christian heretics.

i propose that all america-fearing christians take arms against vegetables.

There's More! (none / 0) (#29)
by HatBot on Fri Jul 12th, 2002 at 01:58:34 PM PST
The book of leviticus also states that it is a sin to eat ShellFish, you can't get a hair cut, and you are supposed to sacrifice a cow to appease god every friday

Sound advice (none / 0) (#33)
by Amitabh Bachan on Sat Jul 13th, 2002 at 02:20:54 AM PST
And in the days when people actually feared God and followed his laws there were no Al-Qaeda terrorists destroying Christian skyscrapers. I think that tells us something.

No, but what was there instead? (none / 0) (#34)
by flowers on Sun Jul 14th, 2002 at 04:19:34 PM PST
Let's crucify Christians, have them eaten alive by lions, burn them alive in the bellies of huge metal bulls, draw and quarter them, &c. Too bad they don't have skyscrapers, because if they did, I would certainly demonstrate my fear of God by not destroying them.

Who is more God-fearing; an American stockbroker or an Al-Qaeda terrorist? Points will be awarded to the answer that least demands retroactive abortion.
I have unprotected sex with multiple anonymous partners.

God? (none / 0) (#35)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Jul 14th, 2002 at 09:03:25 PM PST
God God or Invisible Hand God? The first fills the vacuum of moral culpability, which is perhaps not helpful; the second praises freely given choices in every sermon of its market alchemy so that although everyone is shot, no one can be accused of pulling the trigger. That, too, is perhaps less than useful.

Anyway, Ossama's reputation precedes him. Even the most mediocre of stockbrokers is responsible for more deaths than the unfairly maligned Ossama.

New Pledge to Reflect the Times (5.00 / 1) (#37)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Jul 15th, 2002 at 09:46:38 AM PST
"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States Against Anything Un-American, and to the Republicans for which it stands, two nations, under Jesus, rich against poor, with liberty and justice for all.*"

*Except blacks, homosexuals, women who want abortions, Communists, welfare queens, treehuggers, feminazis, illegal immigrants, children of illegal immigrants, and even you if you don't watch your step.

Just so some loser doesn't report me to the copyright board, I did get this from Matt Groening's Life in Hell comic strip. It isn't mine, but it works, don't you agree?

No, not really (n/t) (none / 0) (#38)
by gzt on Mon Jul 15th, 2002 at 10:33:43 AM PST

You're an idiot. (none / 0) (#42)
by MessiahWWKD on Tue Jul 16th, 2002 at 07:25:16 AM PST
I think that sums up my post well.
Guardian angel, heavenly friend, walk with me 'til the journey's end.

Ahhhhhahahahha! (none / 0) (#48)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Jul 18th, 2002 at 09:31:14 PM PST
If what you say in your post is truly what you think than you imply that there is a God right? A God that made everything, including the world and me and you. A God that gives life and takes away life also. God will only let humanity shake their fist in his face for so long before He does something (Refer to Sodom and Gomorrha...ouch). And believe me he will. He fulfilled all the Scripture and He made his promise that He will return for those that follow him. I have studied evolution some and I just can't rest with the idea that somewhere, nothing made something. That is physically impossible, just proving God's existence. Another question I have to ask myself is why am I posting on this site that is obviously here to put rediculously absurd comments about subjects that the poster hasn't even looked deep enough into. I guess everyone needs the chance to repent, not saying you will, because the odds are you will ignore, delete, or kill this post immediately if you even read this far. I wish you luck though. If you can ever prove that God does not exist then I will stop believing in Him. Until then I will strive to be like Him. Ciou peeps.

Stupid Essay (3.00 / 2) (#49)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Jul 19th, 2002 at 11:32:47 AM PST
Can America create the Universe?
Can America bring peace to the world?

Yes, America can destroy everything.. But, why is that so great?.. it's better build things that destroy them.

The greatest thing of America is faith: Faith in Freedom.. Fait in dreams.. Faith in the people who have the strength and courage to make this a beautiful and greater country day by day.

What God represents is Faith.. not an entity that lives in heaven and have power.

The people who made America believed in God, and that faith helped them in that effort.

Can America give you a soul? do you have a soul? i guess not.. you're just flesh and blood with a tinny little brain.

Tht's all... Good luck in Hell.

nope (none / 0) (#54)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Jul 23rd, 2002 at 12:49:23 AM PST
well, asssuming you believe in god. I have no problem accepting that there is no greater purpose and that there is really nothing better out there. Maybe your just looking for something to give purpose to your otherwise meaningless life? And about hell, no thanks, I'll die and simply cease to exist; what is so fucking complicated about that?

ok.. maybe (none / 0) (#55)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Jul 23rd, 2002 at 09:04:11 AM PST
Ok, maybe i'm wrong.. And i don't care if you consider yourself just a piece of meat that someday will cease to exist and will rot.. But if you don't belive in God.. why did you compare him with America?.. Why did you say that America is greater than something doesn't even exist (according to you)?

Anyway, The thing is.. that some people need to believe that there is something better out there, because that faith is the strength to do great things..

Maybe i'm trying to find some meaning to my meaningless life.. but you are in fact living a meaningless life without wanting something better.. That's complicated to understand.

But, keep your "over god" philosophy... good luck, not in hell.. in the "nothing", when you cease to exist... i just wonder, are you existing right now? how can you be sure of that?

Just wow (none / 0) (#58)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Jul 28th, 2002 at 09:55:20 PM PST
God forbid someone should be sarcastic and witty...and God forbid someone should think on their own...Strange how you christians never seem to do either of those...

WORNG! (none / 0) (#60)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Aug 6th, 2002 at 12:51:55 AM PST
If the Framers believed in your god than it would be all over the Constitution, but it's NOT. George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin, and many other "Fore Fathers" were NOT Christian. Franklin was an atheist; Washington and Jefferson were both deists. The quote on The Jefferson Monument it taken out of a letter to his friend about how Christians should never gain power in ANY government; the comment was mocking Christianity. I hate people like you.

Note: Since I don't believe in Hell, because it doesn't exist, I wont go there. When you die, you DIE, that's the end.

Another Pledge (1.00 / 1) (#50)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Jul 19th, 2002 at 07:20:18 PM PST
I pledge alligiance to the flag
whenever it suits me the most, and
to the republic for which it stands
one nation, many opinions, for our
new found freedom and political correctness
for all.

Lip Service? (none / 0) (#51)
by flowers on Sun Jul 21st, 2002 at 08:55:22 AM PST
If your country really is for all, then God has no place in your pledge of allegiance or any of the processes of government.

Besides, He has a tiny penis.
I have unprotected sex with multiple anonymous partners.

The phrase should be 'over the god.' (none / 0) (#52)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Jul 22nd, 2002 at 07:45:40 AM PST
Because, I believe that I am living on top of the god.

The God. (none / 0) (#53)
by flowers on Mon Jul 22nd, 2002 at 12:21:31 PM PST
Mexico is the god?
I have unprotected sex with multiple anonymous partners.

I believe you missed the point (none / 0) (#56)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Jul 23rd, 2002 at 04:10:26 PM PST
The ruling was about church and state. Aside from your anti relgion rambling i see nothing supporting that seperation. Under or over god is not the point (although what you have written has to be the most idiotic thing i have seen in many months). The point was that it mentioned god in the first place. So your "replacement" pledge is just as invalid as the original. So please, get off your high horse and crawl back into your cave, or get back in your bunker and polish your phallic symbol of a rifle and leave the intelligent discourse to non testosterone fueled people who have actually thought out both sides of the issue.

I'm an athiest. So.... what's it matter. (none / 0) (#57)
by Icarus The Fallen on Thu Jul 25th, 2002 at 04:17:14 PM PST
I'm an athiest and I say the following phrases

goddam it.
Jesus Christ
Jesus !@#$ing Christ
What in the 9 hells?
God !#@$ing Dammit.

I also, on occasion say.

I plege allegience to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation, under god, indivisible with liberty and justice for all.

And I don't believe a word of it. It's something that we all had to learn. It's something we sometimes have to say.

God is something that some people need to be decent people. Fine let him stay. If you don't believe in god, shut up and smile when the pledge is said. Atleast then we won't have to hear about it.

Also note. "Seperation of church and state." Is from the Communist Manifesto by Marx (Not that anyone here has read it) Our Constitution only gaurantees "Freedom from religion" Meaning that the govmt can't force a specific religion as the only religion to be practiced.

The order is

1) Become educated
2) Then bitch about the problems with the system

So I may not believe, but I see no problem in leaving the pledge alone.

alanis (none / 0) (#59)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Aug 5th, 2002 at 07:41:39 AM PST
makes up for her booblessness with by being hot. well.. kinda.

actually, nevermind.

america < god (none / 0) (#61)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Aug 7th, 2002 at 06:34:13 AM PST
maybe america has the ability to destroy anything living but is at the same time so ignorant so they don't know they will be opening the biggest can of whoopass ever unleashed upon them. maybe america is strong, but they will always remain the butthole of the world and they will be kicked like one as if they wore being bitchslapped by a cellmate named bubba. one nuke fired in any direction, departing from america and 2 minutes later there will be more nukes heading for america then there are braincells in bush' head (at least two missiles) -> then you will be crying for god.

they delivered food packages after they kicked the crap out the same people. Oh look how good we are now, we give food after bringing destruction, chaos and starting all the hunger in the first place. -> god gives because he cares, america because they can take something else with them -> read IRAK

so f****ing what, there are more countries in the world than america with a lot more buttons to push
who aren't even afraid to risk world peace, try that on you. -> god has not intended to destroy you dumb motherfucker you

do you really believe that america is that good, believe me, i'm european, and you can't impress me with america. it disgusts me an makes me wanna puke. humanitary help is NOT the best in america, by the way, have you even checked your statements with a few facts.

Here is my info to state what i say:

1. crime rises every year in america
2. no social security card: your on your own
3. americans still think they are cowboys
4. death toll with christmas is higher than on normal weeks -> that is not normal
5. terrorist, terrorist, ... -> america killed a lot more innocent people then osama or whomever
6. Bush is the most ignorant fuck in the whole world, why, axis of evil, terrorists, ... comeon, i mean COMEON. why are they sure osama did it -> because they found a van with a koran, a flight instruction, ... -> this looks like a scooby doo murder mystery.

7. america think they run the show but they can't do shit without unleashing something that even america can't stop

i'm a full time atheist but comparing myself to god, i don't think so.

My vision of america -> not to everyone in america, but to those who dare think america is better than the rest.

: it is one big show, runned by the upper clown, by the way, what, god bless this country, no, god bless this indian country you low-life, no history peace of shit dumbasses

What? (none / 0) (#62)
by Icarus The Fallen on Thu Aug 15th, 2002 at 09:30:42 AM PST
I'd like to point out that the original story was about the pledge and wasn't an open invite to rip on a country not your own. You're European so I'll forgive you your grammar as well.

So here's my take on your post. My comments are inside the **:

Here is my info to state what i say:
**Only some of this qualifies as info. Others are just you being bitter**

1. crime rises every year in america **So does the birthrate and immigration rate. More people = more crime**

2. no social security card: your on your own **We have social security. We just don't have Socialized health care like most European countries. I happen; however, to like being able to go see my doctor without a 4 month wait, thanks.**

3. americans still think they are cowboys **What does this have to do with anything? And the hell we do. I'm about as much a cowboy as you are a medieval knight. Last time I checked the local fashion wasn't chaps and a six shooter.**

4. death toll with christmas is higher than on normal weeks -> that is not normal **Sure it is. It happens every year when the people who wish to steal things break in at christmas or mug people in the hopes of stealing new expensive things. Makes sense if you think about.**

5. terrorist, terrorist, ... -> america killed a lot more innocent people then osama or whomever **Find me the numbers on how many innocents were killed. I will admit that the stooges running our army did manage to loose quite a few of our soldiers with idiocy.**

6. Bush is the most ignorant fuck in the whole world, why, axis of evil, terrorists, ... comeon, i mean COMEON. why are they sure osama did it -> because they found a van with a koran, a flight instruction, ... -> this looks like a scooby doo murder mystery. **Yeah Bush is stupid. I won't even try to deny that. And no. The tape of Osama saying that he did it was pretty much a dead give away that he did.**

7. america think they run the show but they can't do shit without unleashing something that even america can't stop. **To what are you now referring? Last I checked the new govmt. of Afghanistan was starting up just fine. The Al Quida fighters were all crushed, but a few remaining people hiding in the hills. So I think we stopped it pretty damn quick.**

**As for your saying that America makes you puke. Go to hell. You don't even have enough pride in your country to say where you're from. You're just "European." America isn't perfect. Far from it, but it's what we've got. And hearing from a mostly uneducated, ill-informed person who doesn't live here that my country is terrible doesn't sit well with me.

So tell you what... First you learn to distinguish fact from opinion. Second you should back up any opinion with a supporting fact. (Not another opinion.) And finally.... If it's not your concern, don't whine about it.**

A few flaws... (none / 0) (#63)
by Martz on Fri Sep 6th, 2002 at 07:33:46 PM PST
First of all, God has the potential power to crush you into the insignificant dust that you are in an instant. I wouldn't go around bad-mouthing the Being that created you and everything around you.

Water wings? Think about TERRENTIAL RAIN. Do you think that water wings will make a lick of difference in a complete, utter flooding of the earth? And what are you going to live on for 40 days and 40 nights? Water? Ha!

And you seem to think that cheap, American food is better than divine provision? Can you say you've tasted Manna? ...I didn't think so.

You think lightning is ineffective? Unreliable? God can direct any amount of energy, lightning or no, at YOU or any thing he chooses. A Tomahawk missle, as you so describe it, is but a pin-prick in comparison to God's inexhaustable, unlimited power resources. If you think lightning is the extent to which his destructive power reaches, you obviously have a very closed mind.

In closing, if you honestly believe that a few measley nukes and cruise missiles are going to even make God flinch, you really are crazy. What're you gonna do? Point 'em at the heavens and hope they hit him? You moron.


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