An Early Analysis of Today's Attacks

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An Early Analysis of Today's Attacks

Author:

seventypercent

Topic:

Politics

Posted:

Oct 07, 2001

Comments:

Unless you've been living in a cave, you're probably aware that the United States, with the support of a large number of other nations, launched significant air strikes against military targets in Afghanistan this morning. B-1, B-2, and B-52 bombers, with the assistance of Tomahawk cruise missilies, took out Taliban command centers and strategic anti-aircraft air defense assets to clear the way for further surgical strikes and airdrops of humanitarian aid for the war-weary Afghan people.

Though it is still too early to objectively gauge the effectiveness of these strikes, Adequacy.org is pleased to present some of the earliest analysis of the coalition military action available in the mainstream Western media.

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I am an avid Denver Broncos fan, and I had intended to spend this Sunday in the recliner, watching quarterback Brian Griese lead the Broncs in an important division rivalry game against the Kansas City Chiefs. But as I watch CBS, I'm not seeing Griese, and I'm not seeing head coach Mike Shanahan, the rancorous linebacker Bill Romanowski, or any of the familiar faces that Broncos fans have come to know and love. Instead, I'm looking at Dan Rather.

Dan Fucking Rather.

While it is true that Americans will be called upon to make sacrifices in times of war, I question the Bush administration's timing in this matter. Keep in mind that NFL fans have already been deprived of one week of football action, which is one more week than should be accepted in a civilized society. The first week was taken away from us by the Islamic horrorists that perpetrated the obscene attacks on our nation. This week has been taken away from us by forces from within; in particular, we have been robbed of our weekly fix of NFL action by an ill-timed military campaign.

Now, all is not lost; I can still get the radio broadcast that is available from the NFL's Web site. However, that pales in comparison to the TV experience; football should be viewed on a large TV and heard by an audio system with at least 500 watts of surround sound. It should be viewed while sitting in a comfortable recliner, with a beverage of choice at hand. Instead, I am going to be listening to this game in the form of a crappy RealAudio live stream. I'll be sitting in an ergonomic but not-exactly-comfortable office chair.

Do you get the irony here?

This is how they listen to football in Afghanistan. We aren't visually drinking in the excitement of the game, ably captured by talented cameramen. We aren't immersed in high-quality sound that puts us "right in the action." No; we're being forced to listen to tinny audio originating from a radio broadcast in the most rudimentary and savage conditions. Fuck, I might as well dish myself up a glass of dirty river water and a bowl full of gruel. This is what we've been reduced to.

The sad thing is that this didn't have to happen. Tomorrow is a federal holiday here in the United States, and many people will have the day off. If the attacks had started tomorrow instead of today, the only things that would have been pre-empted by the news coverage would be programs like "Live with Regis and Kathie Lee", "The Bold and the Restless", and "Geraldo." These are programs that the American public, by and large, cannot be bothered to give a shit about. The day off would have given Americans a perfect opportunity to sit back and enjoy the news coverage without disrupting such national treasures as the NFL.

Don't get me wrong; I have supported and continue to support President Bush in the days following the September 11th horrorism against the United States. But we have witnessed this administration's first significant stumble today. There is no need to victimize millions of Americans when the attacks would have been just as effective 24 hours from now. All presidential administrations make mistakes; let's hope that Bush learns from this one.

	Just wait... (none / 0) (#1)
	by tkatchev on Sun Oct 7th, 2001 at 02:21:24 PM PST

	...till you get drafted. -- Peace and much love...

	Once again, we see who the real terrorists are (5.00 / 3) (#2)
	by moriveth on Sun Oct 7th, 2001 at 02:51:11 PM PST

	A comparison to the Sept. 11 "terrorist" attacks is again instructive. The attacks were carried out on a Tuesday, which in addition to minimizing casualties, was also after the weekend's entertainment; only the unpopular sport of baseball was adversely affected. Although weekend football was in fact cancelled, this was clearly not the fault of the so-called "terrorists." The blame for this abrogation of our liberties rests squarely with the elite USian media. Once again, the "terrorists" prove to have more regard for life and liberty than the righteous murderers in the US government and nauseatingly patriotic and unfree USian press. First Iraq, then Sudan, and now sports lovers around the world. Will the USian outrages never cease?

	UK influence (none / 0) (#3)
	by FifthVandal on Sun Oct 7th, 2001 at 03:41:19 PM PST

	Well it just proves that us Brits are really running the show - we waited until the really important sporting event was over before we gave the OK. --- I was the fifth vandal on the grassy knoll!

	I watched that game (none / 0) (#18)
	by Anonymous Reader on Sun Oct 7th, 2001 at 08:26:37 PM PST

	The game you supposedly missed was likely on another channel or if you have cable you could have seen it. As much as seeing Dan Rather's face as often as I do, I do however like to know what's going on in my backyard. You see I don't live that far from Whitman Air Force Base which is where ALL those planes came from and the ONLY base in America where they are located (not-counting the plants where they are manufactured).

	You draw the wrong conclusions. (4.50 / 2) (#4)
	by Anonymous Reader on Sun Oct 7th, 2001 at 03:45:57 PM PST

	Surely the U.S. Government, in its far-reaching awareness, calculated the effect of bombing a foreign countryon such a date. This can only mean one thing: *they are saving up tomorrow for something much* bigger, and that's why they had no choice but to bomb today**. My guess is nukes.

	I personally was (1.00 / 2) (#5)
	by ukesmic on Sun Oct 7th, 2001 at 03:50:36 PM PST

	Please tell this story is satire, please! If not, I am deeply sorry that this war-thing has gotten in the way of more important things. I sure hope you get drafted as to get your priorities straight. Men and women all over the world are putting their health and lives in the line so you can be safe. And you have the audacity to complain about missing football? They are across the world, away from their families and loved ones. Some will possibly get maimed or killed. And you miss football. How proud must those men and women be to defend a citizen like you. This is one of my first days on plastic, and I sincerely hope your 'story' is not indicative of the level of debate here. And how on earth did it get on the mainpage in the first place?

	oops (1.00 / 1) (#7)
	by ukesmic on Sun Oct 7th, 2001 at 04:00:28 PM PST

	Of course I meant adequacy, not plastic. Shows how mad I get reading drivel like what seventypercent wrote.

	please, a little perspective (4.00 / 2) (#8)
	by Anonymous Reader on Sun Oct 7th, 2001 at 04:04:13 PM PST

	How proud must those men and women be to defend a citizen like you. It's their job. They get paid in legal tender, not pride. They defend us using bullets, not pride. If there was no money in it, Americans would be waving white flags, not the red, white and blue.

	Please tell me... (5.00 / 2) (#12)
	by Anonymous Coward on Sun Oct 7th, 2001 at 05:58:48 PM PST

	that your reply is satire. Of course football is of no real importance but in our democracy, thinking it is is our right. Go back to Afghanastan if you wish to dictate what we are allowed to be interested in. Personally, I always thought that football was merely war by other means. -- Support the home page homeless.

	This just goes to show you... (none / 0) (#6)
	by Anonymous Reader on Sun Oct 7th, 2001 at 03:51:34 PM PST

	...how the USian government is controlled by the megacorps. Duh. Of course the bombings are happening on prime time in a long weekend. Corporations want it that way, so they can drive us into a frenzy and sell us more and more crap we don't need (actually, not "sell", rather drive us further into debt and thus into their claws). The recent growth in the advertisement budgets for USian flags of all shapes and sizes, and basement nuke shelter kits, are the primary evidence. Dammit, if I see another TV commercial for a bomb shelter I'm going to crack.

	hmmmmm (none / 0) (#10)
	by osm on Sun Oct 7th, 2001 at 04:38:40 PM PST

	they showed our foosball game, unfortunately. i would have much rather seen the afghans get routed.

	No big deal. (1.00 / 1) (#11)
	by jin wicked on Sun Oct 7th, 2001 at 05:52:16 PM PST

	I always thought football sucked anyway. "Ars longa, vita brevis...Art is long, life is short."

	Anti-American sentiment (5.00 / 3) (#22)
	by moriveth on Sun Oct 7th, 2001 at 10:35:44 PM PST

	I'm greatly concerned by the proliferation of plain mean and nasty comments directed at America. After spitting on the ol' pigskin, would you like wipe your ass with our flag, too? What is wrong with Adequacy when such an outrageous statement can pass without remark, without challenge? After the destruction of the World Trade Center, did you shrug and say, "Whatever, I thought those towers were eyesores anyway"? I wouldn't put it past you. Your remark shows the same sick mindset.

	Well... (3.66 / 3) (#13)
	by nx01 on Sun Oct 7th, 2001 at 06:15:50 PM PST

	...at least the Broncos won! "Every time I look at the X window system, it's so fucking stupid; and part of me feels responsible for the worst parts of it." -- James Gosling

	Yes, they did! (none / 0) (#14)
	by seventypercent on Sun Oct 7th, 2001 at 06:26:30 PM PST

	Additionally the hated Minnesota Vikings were also beat by the New Orleans Saints. Unfortunately, the universally despised Oakland Raiders ended up winning their game against the Dallas Cowboys, which results in an undesirable two-way tie between Denver and Oakland for the top spot in the AFC West. Of course we could have seen this all transpire on television had it not been for the irresponsible actions of our government. Ho hum. -- Red-blooded patriots do not use Linux.

	Big deal (none / 0) (#15)
	by osm on Sun Oct 7th, 2001 at 06:30:47 PM PST

	they beat the chiefs. the chiefs suck. denver sucks too, they just sucked less today. of course, the redskins totally suck because they have all of our rejects from last year.

	What also sucks (4.00 / 1) (#16)
	by theR on Sun Oct 7th, 2001 at 07:20:00 PM PST

	Is that this fucking military action caused a poll I liked to be moved off the front page. Regardless, everybody knows Stevie Wonder would kick the asses of Ronald Reagan, Muhammed Ali, Stephen Hawking, Christopher Reeves, and Princess Di. The Redskins totally suck because their coach is too much of an idiot to realize that you need some veterans to win, even if they are overpriced. Instead, he tried to fit a square peg into a round hole. To top it off, the square peg was also a first class idiot. It's all right to cry, Crying takes the sad out of you. -- Rosey Grier

	yeah (none / 0) (#17)
	by osm on Sun Oct 7th, 2001 at 08:13:20 PM PST

	jeff george sucks and marty sucks. but so does jimmy raye and the rest of marty's coaching staff. they got all of the chief's rejects. except the broncos got chester mcglockton who also sucks and we disposed of. surprisingly, he hasn't had any penalties yet this year. but i'm sure his fat ass will make up for that later. and baltimore got elvis. and they beat the broncos. marty tried to get jeff george while he was in kc, but the general manager wouldn't allow it. it's all so incestuous. it almost turns me on.

	So do the Royals (none / 0) (#19)
	by Anonymous Reader on Sun Oct 7th, 2001 at 08:33:37 PM PST

	Yeah we suck! Come on guys go for broke! 100 losses! By the way I live in Kansas City. Famous for 3 things: 1. Bar-B-Que (this is where all the great BBQ sauces are from and many come from all over the country to compete) 2. Whiteman Air Force Base (yeah not exactly in KC but we still got KICK ASS planes) 3. Hollywood Film Vault (once again not in but close to KC, this is where all the old films are kept in under ground caverns for preservation)

	i live in kc too! (none / 0) (#20)
	by osm on Sun Oct 7th, 2001 at 08:43:03 PM PST

	i had such high hopes for the chiefs this year. the royals haven't been worth a shit since the '80s.

	Of course! (5.00 / 2) (#21)
	by nx01 on Sun Oct 7th, 2001 at 10:07:54 PM PST

	Well of course the Broncos suck! That's not my point. My point is that somehow, through watching the television, I contributed to them winning. Therefore, I am a winner! Yay! Ah, sweet validation of my being through people I don't know. By the way, if you really want to pick on a Denver sports team, go for the Nuggets. Talk about bottom of the barrel. "Every time I look at the X window system, it's so fucking stupid; and part of me feels responsible for the worst parts of it." -- James Gosling

	Damn it all (5.00 / 3) (#24)
	by T Reginald Gibbons on Mon Oct 8th, 2001 at 06:16:47 AM PST

	You should be contributing to your nation's victory over the emotion of terror by watching every scrap of war coverage you can. What kind of patriot are you? Failing that you can contribute by giving up your blood as a sacrament to the war on terror, at any red cross shrine.

	Football is what's wrong with America (4.00 / 1) (#23)
	by Adam Rightmann on Mon Oct 8th, 2001 at 05:22:39 AM PST

	Sadly, football is what is wrong with America. At one time, talent, practice and dedication were all that was needed to biuld a dynasty, with the advent of collective bargaining and salary caps (used to spread the mediocrity around) no team is good for more than 2 or 3 years, and no bad team suffers from poor self esteem for more than a few years. Like the rest of America, the NFL is living in an artificial whiffle-world, where no chance is being given to develop moral fiber. So now, instead of watching a team develop and become strong, we have a merry go round of good teams. Is your team doing badly this year? Wait a year or two, salary caps will kick in on the other teams and your team will do well by default, you don't even need to draft well or train players well. Just wait for the other teams to suck. What do we need to do to make the NFL as great as it once was? Adjusting the collective bargaining agreements would be the most effective. Players should be signed to contracts that minimally last 4 years, and must not be allowed to leave or change the contract before those four years are up. Four years gives a coach plenty of time to grow a team into a tough contender, without having to buy lots of overpriced vetarans in a futile attempt to become good (Hello Washington). A. Rightmann

	Spread this (none / 0) (#32)
	by Anonymous Reader on Thu Oct 11th, 2001 at 07:58:08 AM PST

	Yea make it more like European football where the only question is by how many points will Man U/Bayern Munich/Real Madrid/Intermilan win their leauges by.

	Football? (none / 0) (#25)
	by Dexter Descarte on Mon Oct 8th, 2001 at 07:05:55 AM PST

	Bah! All the real football (read college) was on saturday and my beloved Vols lost due to a severe case of fat redneck in charge. TNT was obliging enough yesterday to pick up the real great american sport after NBC went to endless 'whas up?' mode: Stock Car Racing! Yes, NASCAR, where Tennessee made up for some of it's shame with Sterling Marlin taking the win at the UAW-GM Quality 500. In other football news, our boys on the national team clinched a birth for next year's World Cup with a home victory over Jamaica that was preempted by ABC's schlock coverage of an event that needed no more than occasional updates. I mean hell, we've been listening to this same shit since the 11th, do we really need multi-hour recaps every time something relevant happens? Bleh, I get my news from the BBC and the Gaurdian for a reason.

	The Emmys too (none / 0) (#26)
	by donkpunch on Mon Oct 8th, 2001 at 12:40:33 PM PST

	Does anyone really believe the Emmys were postponed for safety or patriotic reasons? Of course not. This is Hollywood we're talking about -- the same people who lock contestants in a dark room with rats and call it entertainment. They were afraid the Emmys would fail to achieve massive ratings. Worse yet is the possibility they might even be pre-empted by some inconvenient prime time military action. Better to postpone until things settle down a bit. If they lose ratings shares to war coverage, they will pay the price in ad revenue next year. Clearly, the networks need to devise a special advertising rate for wars -- much like they do for the Superbowl. This would increase their revenue and help keep regular programming on track.

	The Caps weren't playing, who gives a fuck? (none / 0) (#30)
	by Perianwyr Stormcrow on Wed Oct 10th, 2001 at 01:23:12 AM PST

	Hockey wasn't interrupted. So why should I care?

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