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These days, it is not uncommon to find young people of all ages, particularly teenage girls rejecting Christianity and turning instead to the ancient Pagan belief system of Wicca (more commonly known as Witchcraft). These youngsters are often confused about their spirituality and find solace in the paganistic rituals of white and black magic. Often enjoying the thrill that comes from being 'different' to everyone else.
Witchcraft (or Wicca) is a very old belief system, dating back to barbaric pre-Christian European times. It is a belief system based on the forces of nature and of a balance between good and evil. Modern Wiccans eschew much of the pagan side of their religion and often their beliefs amount to little more than a fashion statement. Teenage girls especially find the black clothing, satanic imagery to be 'cool' and 'radical'. I asked some Californian Wiccan teens to explain their beliefs.
When further questioned about their beliefs, all we could really extract from these teens was that Wicca, unlike other religions had some cool clothes, and was misunderstood by their parents, teachers and the mainstream media.
Fair enough you might think. It seems pretty harmless, these girls enjoy dressing up, and being part of a cool 'clique' that adults don't understand. And I would agree with you, if it were that simple. But some of these girls may well be tampering with real forces of evil way beyond their comprehension. And that is a problem.
Our modern images of Wiccans or Witches (to give them their proper name) comes from TV programs such as 'Bewitched' and 'Sabrina'. Unfortunately there is nothing amusing or comical about witchcraft in the real world. Real world witchcraft involves pure evil. True witches are capable of casting spells, putting the 'evil eye' on people, even (and this is not a joke) flying around on broomsticks. In order to create some of their 'spells' they may have to kill endangered species of plant or animal. Some of these spells involve naked dancing at midnight. Should young teenage girls really be doing these things ?
Some teen Wiccans may not be true witches. They probably simply wear a pentagram and black clothes. I am not interested in these people. But some of these teenagers have become fully-fledged witches, and are practicing their evil from the bedrooms of suburban America. (There is some evidence to suggest that the recent dot-com bomb was engineered by a group of thirteen Wiccan teens in order to win a school investment club competition.)
Now to the solution. In the old days, witches were burned at the stake. This may sound cruel, but America supports the death penalty, and this is simply the safest way we have to deal with the evil of witchcraft - burning ensures that any evil spirits are cleansed by the flames. As an more humane alternative we could use a silver bullet which contrary to popular belief works on witches as well as vampires. Perhaps the safest approach would be to shoot them with a silver bullet after burning them at the stake. (Sure amnesty may not approve of these methods of execution, but then they seem to be very much a pro-criminal organization.)
Then we are left with only one problem. That of how to identify the real witches in our community as opposed to those who are simply wearing the clothes and don't have any real clue about Wicca ?
The solution is simple and as old as the hills. In England many many years ago, Christian leaders discovered that real witches float and can breathe underwater. Obviously normal human beings cannot. These pioneering Christian scientists adapted a piece of technology called a 'Ducking Stool' and created a device that was capable of distinguishing between true Witches and normal human beings.
My suggestion to solving the wiccan problem is simple. We need to install ducking stools in all of our high-school swimming pools. There will be an anonymous box in the entrance to each school, where students can write the names of girls suspected of being Wiccan. Then every Friday, those girls whose names are in the box can be taken to the swimming pool placed on the Ducking Stool, and tested to see if they are truly evil witches. If they are, we can then burn them at the stake.