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I predict my future using
Tarot 5%
Astrology 5%
Tea Leaves 3%
Palmistry 0%
Crystal Ball 1%
Chicken Entrails 10%
I Ching 11%
Magic 8 Ball 14%
Fortune Cookie 9%
I prefer to stay in the dark - science is my religion. 38%

Votes: 76

 Which is the best way to predict the future ?

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
May 22, 2002
Like most readers, I worry about what's going on in the world, and more specifically, I like to know what is going to happen to me next? With this in mind, I wonder what techniques you adequacy readers prefer when predicting the future ?

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The reason I ask, is that the Internet has made it more and more difficult to predict the future, due to the sheer amount of information available to the seeker of truth. I mean there are just so many psychic and occult websites out there, how am I to sort the wheat from the chaff ?

The problem I have is trying to decide who to believe.

Let me give you an example of my dilemma. In order to find out what will happen to me on a given day, I like to take a look at astrodienst for a quality horoscope, then skip over to and and get a couple of spreads done.

You would think this would cover all my bases, but apparently not.

Today I wanted to know where my career is going to take me over the next few weeks, so I got the tarot spreads with that in mind. I went for a simple past, present, future spread using the Golden Dawn deck, and I looked at my daily horoscope.

I was astounded at the inconsistencies I found. Considering that Astrology and Divination are two of the oldest sciences humankind has devised, I expected better. Especially now that these sciences have been computerized there should be little scope for error.

Here's what the cards said about my future career:
Gain, victory after strife, pleasure gained by labor, success through energy and perseverance. Carefulness, sociability, and avoiding of strife, yet victory therein.

And yet, when I compared that with my horoscope it came up with this:
If you have to defend your point of view when challenged, you will not back down but will argue your case with vigor and passion. Others will respect you for this even when they do not agree. You do not feel any need to make unwarranted attacks in order to maintain yourself.

So on the one hand I should "avoid strife" and yet on the other, I must "argue my case with vigor and passion".

This clearly indicates to me that either Astrology or Tarot are wrong. I am more inclined to think that Astrology has got it right, partly because it has been trusted historically by Presidents of the USA and Royalty, and partly because NASA spending so many of my tax dollars researching it, they must have perfected it by now.

But others of a more artistic bent swear by the Tarot.

So what do I do? Who do I believe ? The Astrologers, with their tax-funded research and high class advocates, or the Tarot with its compelling accuracy, but slightly unnerving undertones of the occult and pseudo-science ?

I am really interested in your views, since I am having a hard time planning my future in the presence of conflicting data. I am getting so desperate that I am even thinking of giving numerology a shot, and we all know what a load of superstitious nonsense that is!


Tarot is a sham (none / 0) (#1)
by anti filidor on Wed May 22nd, 2002 at 07:49:09 PM PST
My local seeress would have her ovaries grilled before she would descend into that valley.

Astrology is better, but vague in its import.

The I Ching has had its successes, though it requires some work to be useful.

The only method that yields consistently good results is the reading of entrails. Sheep work well for this, but just about anything with a gastrointestinal system will do the trick in a pinch. And, as an added bonus, if you have culinary whimsy you can include some sumptuous repast in your immediate future.

Tarot... (5.00 / 1) (#8)
by The Mad Scientist on Thu May 23rd, 2002 at 05:39:36 AM PST a good tool to make decisions, in situations when it isn't as much important how you decide as rather that you decide and start doing something.

Of course, a coin works as well (and faster), but isn't so colorful.

No, Tarot _is_ a sham. (none / 0) (#23)
by because it isnt on Fri May 24th, 2002 at 02:16:44 AM PST
The only way to get good advice is to contact the spirit world with a Ouija board. The dead have all the answers. -- because it isn't

SHOCKING advice (4.00 / 1) (#28)
by cheetah on Sat May 25th, 2002 at 02:41:58 AM PST
You're probably joking or trolling but whatever, it needs to be said. An ouiji board is not child's play or some fancy clairevoyant toy. You are playing with fire, quite literally. Demonic spirits are NOT something to mess around with.

An ouija board is an open invitation for demons to come into you soul (i.e. possesion), at the very least, they WILL deceive you. Tapping into the supernatural may seem like a game, you may think you have uncovered some neat source of power for you to use, but in the end it will backfire in a BIG way; all demons care about, in the long run, is destroying you. Ever wondered why ouiji boards and the like are often the first step into full blown satanic rituals (like saences)?

You may think the idea of demonic spirits (or the supernatural in general) is some big joke, but it is not. Go ask a primitive culture like the Papua New Guineans. If you insist the supernatural doesn't exist to them, they will laugh at you; just as most of the western world does when you say the supernatural does exist.

You have been warned.

Possession? (none / 0) (#36)
by Anonymous User on Tue Jun 4th, 2002 at 03:04:10 PM PST
So how does one become un-possesed if s/he has become possesed thru a board?

Tarot can be of great use for technicians. (none / 0) (#32)
by The Mad Scientist on Mon May 27th, 2002 at 06:11:37 PM PST
Think about your question and then click here.

I Agree Somewhat. (none / 0) (#30)
by John Wainright on Sun May 26th, 2002 at 11:54:49 PM PST
I agree with the Angry Scientist to a point.
While I would never support any acts of divination, his advice to "flip a coin" cuts to the heart of the matter.
People that need to resort to the methods mentioned in the article are weak minded or indecisive. They are also trying to escape the responsibility of making a decision and living with the consequences.
Stand on your own! Decide! Act!
It will make you a stronger person.

Tools of the Devil (2.83 / 6) (#2)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed May 22nd, 2002 at 08:43:17 PM PST
I do not need such Satanic devices as fortune cookies or cards. They are an abomination before The Lord and must be destroyed.

I, however, use The Holy Ghost to recieve divine revelation. God tells me what to do, and even though he let the police catch me when I murdered all of those children, I still know that God will tell me what to do again. Oh, those beautiful, beautiful much blood that I must set free...

Lol! Rofl, and other acronyms (5.00 / 2) (#5)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu May 23rd, 2002 at 02:55:48 AM PST
u r so crazy and witty. lol! this is me eating ur spleen : ^(~)


True story (none / 0) (#3)
by cheetah on Wed May 22nd, 2002 at 09:41:01 PM PST
I once read a horoscope that said:

"Something good might possibly happen to you today."

Even the mighty hero of the common people, Captain Obvious, could have told me that.

How to predict the future (5.00 / 2) (#4)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed May 22nd, 2002 at 10:43:47 PM PST
It is simple. All you have to do is study Koran with a teacher schooled in the ways of true Islam. Glorious God will then reveal all that shall be. You need only keep an open mind for the signs.


Go DIRECTLY to Hell. Do not pass Go. (5.00 / 3) (#6)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu May 23rd, 2002 at 02:59:35 AM PST
"There shall not be found among you [any one] that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, [or] <b>that useth divination</b>, [or] an observer of times, or an enchanter, or <b>a witch</b>"

Deuteronomy 18:11

Sure, your fooling around with purile card games may seem like fun now, but when you're immersed in a sea of boiling lava, you'll regret your sorcerous ways.

I could not have said it better, good sir (none / 0) (#9)
by Adam Rightmann on Thu May 23rd, 2002 at 06:38:27 AM PST
thank you for your warning.

A. Rightmann

Its all very well reading the Bible (none / 0) (#10)
by dmg on Thu May 23rd, 2002 at 07:04:57 AM PST
But when it comes to making day-to-day predictions about my career, the Bible is strangely silent. It talks of generalities, rather than specifics.

The prophet Jeremiah said: "Thus saith the Lord, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them," (10:2).

However, Jeremiah does not tell me whether I am better off pursuing a C++/Unix/Sybase position, or whether I might not be better off following a Clearcase/Conf manager type role. Tarot and Astrology, on the other hand, can. Unless I am missing something.

time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration.
-- MC Hawking

Easy (5.00 / 1) (#12)
by cheetah on Thu May 23rd, 2002 at 08:10:41 AM PST
Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."

Clearly, C++/Unix/Sybase satisfy none of the above, and thus the logical conclusion is that the Clearcase/Conf role is the way to go.


An accurate prediction (none / 0) (#7)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu May 23rd, 2002 at 04:41:33 AM PST will continue to be viewed as a frivolous, if not outright libelous, weblog over the next year.

I predict on-the-spot accuracy of the above statement be to approximately 43.10%, but repeated exposure will bring overall accuracy up to an adjusted rate of 99.98%.

Wanna hear about Oprah Winfrey's year?

There may be some truth behind this stuff (none / 0) (#11)
by First Incision on Thu May 23rd, 2002 at 07:24:49 AM PST
I have never discounted the possibility that Tarot cards, chicken entrails and the like actually works. I think I may subscribe to my grandfather's stance on the subject. "If you call upon the Devil, he might just help you out."

For those of you unsure about my grandfather's stance on Satanism, this was a warning to stay away from these demonic divinations.

Do you suffer from late-night hacking? Ask your doctor about Protonix.

It's real alright (none / 0) (#13)
by cheetah on Thu May 23rd, 2002 at 08:49:33 AM PST
You don't want to mess with the occult or any other satanic ideas, seriously, you don't. You have no idea what you are getting into. You are messing with forces and spirits far beyond your control; far more powerful and intelligent.

Demonic spirits only need an appropriate avenue in which to take control of you and they're "in". Quite often the occult is the very thing that gives them that permission. It removes the natural protection of the holy angels (which usually prevents this from happening) because you have willingly consented to make contact with the spirit world.

Demons are more than happy to oblige with you if what you want if it is evil (there are limits to this, imposed by God, of course), don't worry about that. They hate humanity, with avengence -- we were made in the image of God -- they will do anything in their powers to ultimately destroy you. If you really want to see the devil you will, although, whether or not you are happy with the result when you do so is another question.

Don't be fooled, the greatest trick the devil has ever pulled is to convince the world that he doesn't exist. There is a real spiritual battle going on in this universe between good and evil, right now, the army of darkness vs the army of light, just as real as any battles here on earth, if not moreso.

No one can sit on the fence, everyone has to choose, by default you are on the side of evil, you have to consciously choose the good. You must take your pick, it has eternal consequences. What will you choose?

My Magic 8 Ball... (5.00 / 1) (#14)
by hauntedattics on Thu May 23rd, 2002 at 11:39:41 AM PST
is a great thing. It hasn't been wrong yet! Whenever I get an answer I don't like, I just wait a few minutes, shake it up and ask again. Always works.

My husband has a Magic 8 Ball on his desk in his classroom, and the kids love it. Disturbingly, however, the question they most often ask it is "Will I die soon?" And these aren't misguided, nihilistic, Slipknot-loving teenagers, but cheery, innocent 3rd and 4th graders.

Thinking about death... (5.00 / 3) (#18)
by tkatchev on Thu May 23rd, 2002 at 01:08:50 PM PST a completely natural and healthy response.

In fact, it takes long years of hard and serious conditioning to warp your mind to "forget" about death and live "in the present day".

Also, if kids weren't conditioned to ignore their own mortality, they wouldn't react in such horrible ways to deaths of grandparents and other older relatives.

Peace and much love...

You are right. (none / 0) (#24)
by hauntedattics on Fri May 24th, 2002 at 06:24:25 AM PST
I'd never quite thought about it that way. Thanks for giving me a new perspective on this issue. It makes me realize that I am often prone to idealizing the "innocence" and "happiness" of young kids. Apparently the influence of the mainstream U.S. media is more insidious than I thought.

Actually, to be honest, (none / 0) (#25)
by tkatchev on Fri May 24th, 2002 at 08:31:25 AM PST
"the U.S. media" has nothing to do with it.

The romanticized idea of childhood stems back to Rousseau -- quite possibly, one of the most amazingly hypocritical people I've ever heard about.

He was an ardent believer in "childhood innocence" and in the sanctity of childhood, and at the same time he abandoned his 5 children to an 18th-century orphanage, because they were distracting him from writing philosophical works about "child development" and education. (!!!)

(Link: here.)

Peace and much love...

Rousseau may have started it... (none / 0) (#26)
by hauntedattics on Fri May 24th, 2002 at 10:00:11 AM PST
but the U.S. media perpetuates it to a nauseatingly astonishing degree. Watch any random half-hour of American TV designed for either kids or parents, and see countless examples of products and/or services that are guaranteed to make your child's life more innocent and idyllic.

Of course, the companies who promote these products and/or services are only doing so to make money, but they're playing on very deep-seated beliefs and ideas.

You're right, though. Rousseau was a total hypocrite.

Wonder Why... (none / 0) (#15)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu May 23rd, 2002 at 11:54:19 AM PST
You never see a headline that says "Fortune Teller wins the Lottery"

Fortune Tellers (none / 0) (#16)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu May 23rd, 2002 at 12:37:43 PM PST
The lottery winners clearly are successful because they use necromancy to obtain the necessary information. However, the side effect of using these techniques is the "payback." Thus it occurs that lottery winners, five years later, are stone broke, in serious debt, in jail, hooked on crack, heroin, xtacy; suffering from genital herpes, syphllis, HIV, and tsu-tsugamushi disease. This is the price they pay for their arcane knowledge. Think about this before you buy your next lottery ticket.

Both are entirely correct (5.00 / 1) (#17)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu May 23rd, 2002 at 12:42:14 PM PST
Your problem is more apparent than real. You must begin to solve this apparent dilemma by realizing that all dichotomies are products of your mind, not of nature. Both are ENTIRELY CORRECT and both sets of advise MUST BE FOLLOWED. There is no contradiction, there is only TRUTH. Everything else is a product of your filthy, perverted, drug-infested, porno-soaked consciousness. Cleanse yourself with massive purges, and you will have all truth revealed.

OH BOY! SOMEONE NEEDS HELP!!!! (5.00 / 1) (#19)
by gohomeandshoveit on Thu May 23rd, 2002 at 02:05:22 PM PST
La-ta-daaaaa! *cool hero music* It's Captain Sanity to the rescue! As Captain Sanity keenly observes the situation, he discovers a heretic and fanatical follower of the evil Fatalism! These are sick, demented, twisted, (insert other negative adjectives here) people who have no life but to subscribe their lives to fate, thereby absolving them of responsibility for their action. Captain Sanity immediately dials the number for the nearest asylum and tells them to pick up a sick freak under the pseudonym "dmg". Up, up, and AWAAYYYYYYY!

Indeed! (none / 0) (#20)
by tkatchev on Thu May 23rd, 2002 at 02:44:08 PM PST
So, what can I do for you?

Peace and much love...

PsychoHistory (none / 0) (#21)
by jelerial on Thu May 23rd, 2002 at 06:29:35 PM PST
It is the only true, proven means of predicting the Future of Mankind.

Hear, hear! (none / 0) (#34)
by marko on Wed May 29th, 2002 at 08:41:32 PM PST
Where is Hari when you need him?

You're one of a kind, but you're not alone.

As a gypsy, I can't recommend either (none / 0) (#22)
by chloedancer on Thu May 23rd, 2002 at 08:20:11 PM PST
if your desire is to predict the future. Sorry, dmg.

What with Mercury continuing its retrograde stance through June 23rd or thereabouts, and the impending Lunar Eclipse and full moon on Sunday, May 26th, it's my opinion that the heavens are out to get us right now. Now is not the time to be pondering the future, but instead to be wary of comets, all things considered.

The tarot is a collection of archetypes and symbols, a means by which practiced users can focus the unconscious mind to tap into the collective unconscious. However, the tarot does not predict the future -- it simply shows you how the past, present and future all work together, creating a pattern from which you might accurately discern trends. It's a great tool for introspection, but it can't show you your future.

Instead, I heartily recommend sushi fortune-telling as a more reliable means of discerning the future with regard to your career and aspirations.

Jack van Impe Can Help You (none / 0) (#27)
by egg troll on Fri May 24th, 2002 at 06:45:25 PM PST
I find in this day and age there are many religious charlatans and false religions in the world today. Thus its reassuring to be able to know as wise a man as Jack van Impe is around to help us decipher biblical prophecy.

Every Sunday at midnight I'm glued to my television to hear how bible phrases are actually hints to the coming relevation. Some heather sinners may pish-posh biblical prophecy but I'll be laughing at them when they languish in Hell. I urge my fellow readers to watch Jack van Impe and learn the about the future!

Posting for the love of the baby Jesus....

The google oracle (none / 0) (#33)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue May 28th, 2002 at 02:32:37 PM PST
We live in a technical world, so you should use an technical oracle - the google oracle.
Just enter random words at google, press "I'm feeling lucky" and the magic google presents you with an answer for all your problems.

Hey look! (none / 0) (#35)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri May 31st, 2002 at 12:59:18 PM PST
They must be doing some cutting-edge research at MIT, because some guy there has a Web horoscope that's actually accurate!

Matthew (none / 0) (#37)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Jun 6th, 2002 at 07:57:22 PM PST
The book of Matthew states that "man can predict neither the day nor time of the end of the earth."

need i say more?

Not what I asked. (none / 0) (#38)
by dmg on Fri Jun 7th, 2002 at 07:10:58 AM PST
The book of Matthew states that "man can predict neither the day nor time of the end of the earth."
need i say more?

I am simply trying to find out which goals to pursue. I am not interested in the end of the Earth. I am also not asking man to predict it, I was specifically interested in the opinions of the stars and the Tarot.

time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration.
-- MC Hawking


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