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Poll for the men: I like
short women 17%
tall women 10%
skinny women 0%
ageless women 13%
youthful looking women 10%
small breasted women 17%
large breasted women 10%
dead women 6%
men 3%
farm animals 10%

Votes: 29

 The importance of a very nice figure

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Nov 27, 2001
I work. No, really. It is quite true. Not only am I employed at the place I call work, but others are employed there as well. I work with many different people. Very few of these people would I ever desire to see in the nude. There are, however, always exceptions.


More diaries by motherfuckin spork
I'm typing a bunch of crap. read it if you want, it's not my problem...
Hey, look, its yes another wonderful entry to my dearest diary!
Yes another entry, another rant, and this one is about rants.
drugs, jazz, cancer, and really really stupid people
let us try this again: more words typed by me for your enjoyment
The power of words
Its about time I write more!
Time does not exist.
land of the dead
I cna tpye vrey welll
sleepy, so very sleepy
whooooooooo! look at the flurry of activity
The fleeting memories of a bowl of cereal
Hey everyone,
What's for lunch?
lab monkeys
Excellent Work!
Why should I care?
sucks to be you
I'm allergic to my in-law's basement...
life lessons
small and firm
hmm, I suppose I should have expected this
A Friend in Need
am I being stalked?
I had a dream
One in particular. Very tall female, very close to me in age, which is nice, as there are not really too many that are close to me in age where I work. Also, she and I are of very similar mindsets, which is even nicer, as almost no one else has the same outlook on life as I (or she) do(does).

Did I mention that she is incredibly attractive? This too, is nice, as when you are conversing with someone, it is always pleasant when you don't mind making eye contact.

She has actually become a pretty good friend over the past few weeks as well.

What's funny is that many (too many, in fact) people are getting completely the wrong idea about our friendship and/or my apparent desire to see her. These people fail to realize that as a formulator, I make stuff. That stuff must get tested. Guess what? She's an analyst. She tests stuff. As a matter of fact, she tests my stuff. She is pretty much the only person testing my stuff as the other analyst is out on maternity leave (just had a girl, her second kid overall). Their immediate supervisor is very new, and must split his time between other projects, and the old german guy pretty much does only one test, but does it well. Therefore, she is the only person doing any analytic work on my samples. Which then means that if there is anything in particular I need to impart upon the analysts about the samples, I tell her. If I need updates, I ask her. If I need results, I get them from her.

And yet, some moronic fools are too blind by their own stupidity to realize this, and have had the nerve to complain about our "behavior".

People have an uncanny ability to be not only petty, but quite pathetic.

I bet if she were some ugly little fat chick, no one would give a damn.

Which makes the whole situation even more sad.

oh well.

live and learn.


No 'smart women' option? (5.00 / 1) (#1)
by elenchos on Tue Nov 27th, 2001 at 09:09:21 PM PST
That's what seems to do it for me. Smart and multi-talented.

As far as work goes, I think your only hope to salvage anything out of a bad set of circumstances is to fuck her.

I do, I do, I do
--Bikini Kill

violation of adequacy's poll protocol (none / 0) (#8)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Nov 28th, 2001 at 02:12:57 PM PST
That's what seems to do it for me. Smart and multi-talented.

Yeah, whatever. The real issue here is why didnt the poll include an option to remind osm of the utter banality of his misery. I'm speaking, of course, of the "Yet another reminder of the Universe's tireless tyranny of osm." Natalie who?

Some of us are a bit envious... (5.00 / 1) (#9)
by elenchos on Wed Nov 28th, 2001 at 09:06:09 PM PST
Reclusive. Freakish. Ashamed, naked and scared.

When you think on the advantages of such a lifestyle, and compare it with the seeming rat-race of the dating scene, it looks pretty good. All the phone numbers to keep track of, buying all those condoms. Or what about the "sex talk"? You know, when your sort of go over your sexual history, negotiate whatever birth control and STD protection you can both live with, and figure out what tastes, kinks and/or fetishes you are each into. And get it over with as fast as you can so you can finish pulling your clothes off...

Man, it gets old. Compare that with the kind of empowered self-sufficency of being a, um, creepy loner who didn't talk to the neighbors much and no one would have ever suspeced even owned a rifle... er, whatever. My point is that osm probably has it all figured out far better than anyone else.

Anyway, nobody put down my man osm. He's okay and I for one am not that worried about him finding out where I live. The possibility practically doesn't bother me at all, for the most part.

I do, I do, I do
--Bikini Kill

Yet another poll option (1.00 / 1) (#2)
by SpaceGhoti on Tue Nov 27th, 2001 at 09:56:35 PM PST
For the sake of certain, un-named Editors (Infinite in Their Wisdom): prepubescent.

A troll's true colors.

I thought you were going to be a good boy... (5.00 / 2) (#10)
by opalhawk on Wed Nov 28th, 2001 at 09:29:26 PM PST
and add Natalie Portman. Shame on you.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Silly girl! (none / 0) (#11)
by SpaceGhoti on Wed Nov 28th, 2001 at 09:53:46 PM PST
What makes you think I didn't?

A troll's true colors.

i think (none / 0) (#12)
by osm on Wed Nov 28th, 2001 at 10:07:23 PM PST
you should stick with chicks. your taste in women is impeccable, whereas your taste in anthrax infested barn animals is quite disturbing.

but... (none / 0) (#13)
by opalhawk on Wed Nov 28th, 2001 at 10:14:13 PM PST
The doctor said the cipero should be helping, and, and, I will get better, really I will! In the meantime, I would not mind an evening alone with either of those gorgeous women... That reminds me, I need to write a diary entery about the other night at the Diamond Cabaret (a local.. um... steakhouse.. yeah...) It is amazing being one of the only women in a room who is not a stripper... the strippers really pay you atention! *grin*.

Is there such a thing as a female cheauvanist pig?

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

No worries bro, we've got your back (none / 0) (#3)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Nov 27th, 2001 at 11:59:36 PM PST
Shuuuure! You're JUST FRIENDS! Of course! Perfectly innocent relationship! Lots of married/attached guys have TOTALLY PLATONIC friendships with women on the side. We know what it's like.

"Uh, yeah, Mrs. Spork, Motherfuckin' WAS playing poker at my house ALL NIGHT last Friday... uh... yeah, the game lasted REALLY late... yeah, um, I think he must have got some of my girlfriend's lipstick on him when he said goodnight to us..."

Eh. (none / 0) (#4)
by RobotSlave on Wed Nov 28th, 2001 at 12:59:35 AM PST
The lipstick on the collar, surely it could be of no more import than the mess my siblings made when we were playing innocent gender-reversal games as tots.

No need for concern here.

© 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

Missing poll option (none / 0) (#5)
by hulver on Wed Nov 28th, 2001 at 03:42:50 AM PST
All of the above.


Something similar happened to me once (5.00 / 2) (#6)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Nov 28th, 2001 at 05:30:34 AM PST
when I was working as a research chemist for a large consumer products company. We were researching pherenomes for inclusion in personal hygeine products, and I had just isolated 20 samples from various primates.

I took the samples down to the analyst I worked for, a nice, shapely redhead. Wouldn't you know it, she was leaving her lab as I was going in, and we bumped into each, spilling the pherenomes all over ourselves, boy did it reek.

I quickly pushed her under the safety shower, the smell of lusty primates almost gagging me. I struggled to remove her soaking lab coat, while she pulled mine off.I couldn't help but notice her heaving bosoms and erect nipples. The smell was so bad I was starting to pant.

Wouldn't you it, the pherenomes had soaked through all our clothing! I ripped off her silk blouse, and removed her black silk bra and thong panties. She pulled off my shirt and pants, and lowered my boxer shorts. Her eyes had a mad, glazed look in them.

Well, I could go on, but you get the gist.

They sound like the Taliban (none / 0) (#7)
by typical geek on Wed Nov 28th, 2001 at 05:56:22 AM PST
and they're just projecting their own fantasies of bending your friend over a lab counter, hiking up her lab coat, and showing her just what an analyst does.

gcc is to software freedom as guns are to personal freedom.


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