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Look! Its another fantastic poll with more irrelevent options!
The Three Amigos shaped my life 0%
Fender Stratocaster 0%
Fender J/P combo bass 0%
alto sax 12%
Jim Morrison was a great poet, but a shitty vocalist 12%
Who's Jim Morrison? 12%
Jim Morrison is not dead - he's living in Europe under the mask of obscurity 12%
Keith Richards is undead 12%
Miles Davis could not have died, as he too is undead 12%
Ace of Bass really is better than Abba 25%

Votes: 8

 Yes another entry, another rant, and this one is about rants.

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Jul 14, 2001
I find it funny when people completely misinterpret one of my "rants". Not many people really read what I have typed correctly. It is a matter of assumptions, expectations, and reality.


More diaries by motherfuckin spork
I'm typing a bunch of crap. read it if you want, it's not my problem...
Hey, look, its yes another wonderful entry to my dearest diary!
drugs, jazz, cancer, and really really stupid people
let us try this again: more words typed by me for your enjoyment
The power of words
Its about time I write more!
Time does not exist.
land of the dead
I cna tpye vrey welll
sleepy, so very sleepy
whooooooooo! look at the flurry of activity
The fleeting memories of a bowl of cereal
Hey everyone,
What's for lunch?
lab monkeys
Excellent Work!
Why should I care?
sucks to be you
I'm allergic to my in-law's basement...
The importance of a very nice figure
life lessons
small and firm
hmm, I suppose I should have expected this
A Friend in Need
am I being stalked?
I had a dream
When I write a rant, a rave, a rebuke, or just a plain old comment, I find I am stereotyped in several ways. First off, it is always assumed that I am pissed off, jumping up and down, fuming mad, and screaming like a loon. It is then assumed that I must be some sort of angst-ridden adolescent. This is funny - truly it is hillarious.

I am not mad, I am not angry.

Learn to read my posts: read it with a disturbingly calm voice. Read it as if it were spoken by a "level headed" person. I'm not yelling. After all, I'm typing this crap - why bother yelling, it won't help you hear me any better.

All because I use profanities, it is assumed that I am either too young or uneducated. Shit! Get over it. People swear left-and-right, up-and-down, day in, day out. In the adult world, we don't care about it in everyday life. For those who feel that a truly "mature" person needn't use swear words, get off your fucking high horse and join the real world. It is that pompous, self-absorbed attitude that I am both sick of and making fun of. Deal with it.

I am older than your "average web-log user"

This is the one that really gets me. Every time I read this crap, I want to roll on the floor laughing, but my wife would have me committed, so I just chuckle politely. I've been using the fucking web since before the general public ever heard of it. I knew of it before I ever got to use it in college, and I've been using it ever since. The first time I used the web was 1991. Yes, 1991. Again, deal with it, and don't bother trying to "prove me wrong" or tell me that I'm lying. The old VAX account is long gone, as are the old e-mails sent across the "young" internet (it was most ceartintly not young, except from the public's perspective). I got a web-site up and running in late 1992. It went out to the public in late 1993.

Why am I bothering to tell you all of this shit? Simple - this stupid internet is neither new, nor novel. Just different than old media - same messages, same overall content. Yes, its the coveted "been there, done that" attitude. That's why I'm often brash, brazen, and callous. Because I can. And why not? You don't know me, you probably don't care to know me, I don't know you, and I don't care. It really is that simple.

So when your reading my crap - be it insightful, irreverant, knoledgeable, bullshit, or whatever, keep this in mind: I'm not screaming at you - quite often, I'm laughing.

I can be a really easy-going guy. I can be a complete and total asshole. I can be both at the same time.

Just stop accusing me of being some hormone-saturated, angst-ridden, snot-nosed little whelp, because, damnit, I'm not. I am me, the same person I've always been, becuase I'm quite happy with who I am. And if you don't like who I am - you should seek professional help - because you've got some control issues you need worked out.

If you don't care who I am, and are capable of reading my posts without going over the deep end, and can keep an open mind: welcome to the real world.


Well, I apologize if I misinterpreted you (4.00 / 1) (#1)
by Gennifer Attwood on Sat Jul 14th, 2001 at 10:40:06 PM PST
But when you fill your comments with so much vulgarity it is hard to read them and not interpret what you say as being angry commentary. We were taught in our journalism classes that it is always the writer's responsibility to utilize language to properly convey the emotion being felt. You can't rely on your readers to understand how you are really feeling if you don't provide them with clues, and without any visual contact your words are the only place to provide those clues.

I would certainly agree that cuss words and other harsh language have both a needed and a legally protected place in our society. The gritty realism they provide to prose is undeniable. Still, when used in abundance they convey the impression of anger. I would never suggest that you stop writing the way you want, but be aware that how you write will affect people much more than what you write.

I never though of you as being especially young, even though "motherfuckin spork" does seem a bit, well, juvenile :-) This diary entry now makes me realize that you are really just somebody who enjoys provoking others, and there is nothing wrong with that as long as it never gets out of hand.


I find your 'handle' offensive (none / 0) (#5)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Jul 16th, 2001 at 09:45:28 AM PST
motherfucking_spork ? What kind of BS handle is that ? I have never seen any other user id on slashdot or kuro5hin which was as offensive as your's.

Please consider getting a new account. You will be taken much more seriously around here if you play by our rules.

no... there is no "g"... (1.00 / 1) (#7)
by motherfuckin spork on Mon Jul 16th, 2001 at 10:16:45 AM PST
its motherfukin spork. call it an inside joke. and playing by your rules? at least I'm logged in, eh?

did you think that maybe the point is to have an offensive handle to see if you can get beyond it and actually read what I've written... naw... someone with a handle like mine could never be that introspective...

I am not who you think I am.

Wisdom of OpalHawk: (5.00 / 2) (#12)
by SpaceGhoti on Mon Jul 16th, 2001 at 01:09:22 PM PST
I'm not breaking the rules. I'm following my own.


A troll's true colors.

sounds like me... (4.00 / 1) (#4)
by elby on Sat Jul 14th, 2001 at 11:05:22 PM PST
For me, historically, the more "angry" the tone of one of my posts, the more I'm actually laughing and enjoying the whole thing in the real world.

Y'know... (none / 0) (#6)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Jul 16th, 2001 at 09:55:52 AM PST
With all that pompous "you don't know me, or understand the real me" crap, you remind me of Jin Wicked

Also, (none / 0) (#8)
by CaptainZornchugger on Mon Jul 16th, 2001 at 11:05:14 AM PST
Crashnbur often uses the exact line you quoted. How could you forget Crashnbur?

you needn't worry (none / 0) (#11)
by motherfuckin spork on Mon Jul 16th, 2001 at 11:08:48 AM PST
I am not that person.

Nor am I who CaptainZornchugger mentioned in his duplicated post.

I am me. And I am not trying to be trite - you really don't know who I am, but you can get to "know" me through what I post... thus, the whole point of posting.

I am not who you think I am.


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