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Clicking on the vote button is exciting.
Yes 0%
No 0%
Vallium 0%
Jerry Garcia is dead, man 12%
why hasn't INXS made an album since the death of Hutchence? 12%
Will Iron Butterfly ever have a reunion tour? 12%
Joe Satriani uses a Mac - deal with it 25%
yet another choice in this poll 0%
Kenny G sucks in way I can hardly begin to define 25%

Votes: 8

 Hey, look, its yes another wonderful entry to my dearest diary!

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Jul 13, 2001
Oh, happy day! How I love to ramble like a loon. Let me entertain you all with a new trick I've been playing with...


More diaries by motherfuckin spork
I'm typing a bunch of crap. read it if you want, it's not my problem...
Yes another entry, another rant, and this one is about rants.
drugs, jazz, cancer, and really really stupid people
let us try this again: more words typed by me for your enjoyment
The power of words
Its about time I write more!
Time does not exist.
land of the dead
I cna tpye vrey welll
sleepy, so very sleepy
whooooooooo! look at the flurry of activity
The fleeting memories of a bowl of cereal
Hey everyone,
What's for lunch?
lab monkeys
Excellent Work!
Why should I care?
sucks to be you
I'm allergic to my in-law's basement...
The importance of a very nice figure
life lessons
small and firm
hmm, I suppose I should have expected this
A Friend in Need
am I being stalked?
I had a dream
Mosquitoes suck (pun intended), especially when you live in an area with no bats. June bugs suck. Japanese Beetles suck (damn grubs). Moths suck. In general, most of the most annoying bugs seem to arrive during the summer.

Seeing as how I have computers, and those comuters attract dust, I've got some of those cans of compressed-gas dust remover stuff. Ahh, the joys of difluoroethane... how exciting it is to watch a compressed gas decompress rapidly freezing moisture from the air... or bugs all over your screens.

Yes, I've discovered the joy of freezing insects. And, to my amazement, many of them do not survive the flash-cryo treatment. Too bad.

Hey, anyone need some fresh dill? I've got a giant crap-load of dill plants (shrubs - they're HUGE), so I've got plenty of dill to spare. Hell, I'll even give you a whole dill plant...

I thought I'd rant some more about how bad Kenny G sucks. One of my mentors, a nationally known professional saxophonist, once described Mr. G's solo style as "musical masturbation, because he's just jerkin' his horn off, and blowin' it all over the wall". That about summed it up. Another professor was out playing a gig once. A woman requested a Kenny G song. He refused. she offered cash. He stood his ground. When she finally pleaded with him, offering $150 to have him play "Songbird", he said fine and took her money. Why? Because the moron was offering $150 to play a crappy song that was so musically unchallenging and trite that he wanted to be well compensated for the waste of time.

Hey, have I mentioned that I hate Kenny G? Just checking.

I think the only thing missing from that almost nonsensical Wiccan "discussion" is someone proclaiming "I'm not a Wiccan, but I play one on TV".


I'm not a Wiccan (none / 0) (#1)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Jul 13th, 2001 at 09:39:50 PM PST
but I play with one in my bedroom.

Please spare us your elitist jazz attitude (none / 0) (#2)
by Gennifer Attwood on Sat Jul 14th, 2001 at 12:45:40 AM PST
I like Kenny G. I'm sorry if that bothers you, but there it is. I like Michael Bolton, too, and many other soft rock and light jazz musicians. I wouldn't normally accuse you of thinking you're some sort of superior judge of music, but I really think it is offensive for you to attack talented musicians just because they aren't "edgy" or whatever you call it. You seem to have hurtful tendencies, and I don't think that is right.

I don't like the squealing sound of trumpets and such myself, but you don't see me going around calling your idea of jazz garbage. To each there own, I always say, and you should practice that as well. There is nothing wrong with calm, soothing music. Maybe if you would stop being such a hateful person you could learn to appreciate these things instead of disparaging them.

people that like kenny g do not bother me... (none / 0) (#4)
by motherfuckin spork on Sat Jul 14th, 2001 at 07:05:23 AM PST
what bothers me is people who insist on calling him jazz. He does not play jazz, he plays instrumental pop.

I am not who you think I am.

It speaks poorly of your mentor (none / 0) (#3)
by CaptainZornchugger on Sat Jul 14th, 2001 at 06:12:52 AM PST
that he knew the song so as to be able to play it.

Unless the woman brought the sheet music, I suppose.

So anyway, what saxophonists do you particularly like?

ah - 2 different guys (none / 0) (#5)
by motherfuckin spork on Sat Jul 14th, 2001 at 07:11:42 AM PST
although I'm sure both could play the song. Being that they are both professionals, they both have the ability that if they've heard it, they can play it: which also means even the cheesiest songs.

As far as sax players I like: Michael Brecker, David Sanborn, Ornette Coleman, John Coletrane, Cannonball Adderly, Eric Merienthal, Brandford Marsailis, Charlie Parker, etc and so on. The first 5 there are my favorites - I actually started with Sanborn, which lead to my Marcus Miller addiction.

I am not who you think I am.

Is it a critical viewpoint? (2.00 / 1) (#6)
by Adam Rightmann on Sun Jul 15th, 2001 at 01:27:50 PM PST
or jealousy that makes you and your fellow jazz cognoscenti so hateful of Kenny G.

One would hope that great jazz saxophonists like Charlie "Bird" Parker, John Coltrane, Ornette Coleman and Henry "Sonny" Rollins and your unnamed mentor would play because they wanted to, and they wanted to express themselves. Instead, I fear I detect an undercurrent of jealousy.

Ah yes, jealousy. Implicitly cautioned against the Nonth Commandment, one of the seven deadly sins, it should be no suprise that jazz musicians (a morally corrupt and spiritually bankrupt type if there ever was one, even going as far as to proselytize the Satanic 5/4 beat, 4/4 was good enough for Bach's Masses, and should be good enough for them) would fall victim to such a thing (indeed, it was Jazz's jealousy of rock music's popular that led to the near genre suicide by embrace of fusion).

This Kenny G has found a way to make jazz appealing to the masses, and found a way to make money while doing it. You would think most true Jazz fans would like to see their music popular, but Jazz fans are like dope addicts, they like to feel down, the major Jazz magazine is called Downbeat, and they like to spread their music like drug dealers do, through personal, expensive contact. Dealers, mentors, it's all the same. Once the exclusive cahcet gets worn away, they won't be able to make as much of a living teaching, and so they resent Kenny G's success.

You Jazz people might be happier if you emulated the right thinking God fearing players in the NFL. The compete fiercely on the field, but off the field they have nothing but respect for their opponets (aside form hypocrites like Bryan Cox), and never hesitate to give thanks to the Big Coach Upstairs.

A. Rightmann

why am I actually replying to this crap? (none / 0) (#7)
by motherfuckin spork on Sun Jul 15th, 2001 at 03:10:19 PM PST
This Kenny G has found a way to make jazz appealing to the masses

Nice troll, goof-boy. First off, and yet again, Kenny G does not play jazz. He plays pop.

It is not jealousy, you moron. You lack of understanding of the enitre jazz culture is painfully obvious.

This poor excuse for a troll is very painful to read - you went too far off-base and dove right into stupidity.

You lose.

I am not who you think I am.


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