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what a freak

Author:

osm

Topic:

Diaries

Posted:

Oct 23, 2001

Comments:

i used to stretch out in karate practice by putting my legs behind my head. now, i just watch the beverly hillbillies and fantasize about being in a car wreck.

More diaries by osm

	I don't enjoy life
	Movie Review
	Of Microsoft and "Great" Britain
	The Truth Behind ESR's Sex Tips
	The Dating Game
	a day in the park with opalhawk
	opalhawk's childlike innocence
	[UPDATED]heavenly white roses seem to whisper to me when opalhawk smiles
	Can't sleep? Bored with the same-ol' same-ol'?
	no sleep for the weary
	heresy
	what the hell am i doing here?
	smaerd dicul htiw erutnevda yadnus
	a new hope
	life changing event
	help wanted
	life is grand
	crud
	rain
	surgical strikes
	decisions, decisions
	lifestyle changes in face of terrorism
	lesbian update
	MY weird uncle benny
	Why Natalie Portman Is Better Than Any Of You
	exorcising haunted attics
	we've hit the big time, baby!
	has natalie met her match??
	unfortunately, she speaks english
	a whole new perspective
	Hell in a Handbasket
	famous last words
	I Miss Hauntedattics
	Startling Revelation
	Occupying America
	Super Bowl Commercial
	Happy Birthday, Reagan
	OB-La-Di, OB-La-Da
	Happy Valentine's Day!
	The Day the Dopes Came Over
	IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT
	clusterlizard survives barage of hacking attempts!
	I haven't been getting a whole lot of sleep
	This is my diary
	Queen Mum Spontaneously Reanimates, Does Elvis Imitation

not that i would enjoy being in a car wreck, mind you, but i figure if i'm in the hospital, dying from blood loss, i could request my transfusion come from Natalie Portman's menstrual fluid. you know, like those chemotherapy kids get to go to disney land and meet charlton heston.

or maybe i'll just become a pacifist/socialist/communist/hippie/whatever. then i could spend my days spinning around in an open prairie to the godawful howlings of the grateful dead spewing out some tortured cover of a bob dylan song. or whoever's music they decide to mutilate.

not that dylan isn't mutilated anyway. that guy looks like they rolled him out in a wheelchair and jump-started him off of keith richards' dried-roast-beef-lookin' buttocks.

damn dirty hippies.

	come on, HauntedAttics (5.00 / 1) (#2)
	by osm on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 06:07:23 AM PST

	respond to this diary entry. i feel the hatred swelling within you now. give in to your anger. with each passing moment you make yourself more my servant.

	I'm already your servant... (none / 0) (#3)
	by hauntedattics on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 06:23:39 AM PST

	and have taken the step over the line onto the Dark Side. Command me as you will, my master. By the way, how do you know what Keith Richards' buttocks look like?

	what is hauntedattics supposed to mean anyway? (5.00 / 1) (#6)
	by osm on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 06:41:12 AM PST

	Pretentious musical reference (none / 0) (#8)
	by hauntedattics on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 06:44:59 AM PST

	It's part of a line from a Radiohead song. And it's a little play on words, you know, like my attic is haunted...you know, my head is...you know. C'mon, work with me here. And besides, my real name is not particularly conducive to good web karma (whatever that is).

	Ok I'm putting a stop to this right now. (5.00 / 1) (#10)
	by TheReverand on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 06:49:35 AM PST

	There have been by and large way too many radiohead references on this website. I ask that you please never refer to them again. You could just have easily have said "It's a reference to a clive barker book" or "It's because I locked my evil twin brother up in the attic, and when people come over he makes wailing sounds and gnashes his teeth, so I tell everyone my attic is haunted". Wouldn't that be easier?

	OK... (none / 0) (#15)
	by hauntedattics on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 06:59:28 AM PST

	OK, it's a reference to a Clive Barker book. I don't have an evil twin brother. Or even a regular non-twin brother. Maybe I should change it to reflect the state of American pop music today. Would "Incubus" or "Propstothehomeez" or "Britneyrulez" be better? Never mind about the Britney thing.

	britney spears is an abomination (5.00 / 1) (#19)
	by osm on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 07:07:00 AM PST

	somebody should dowse her with gasoline, nail her to a cross and offhandedly toss a burning match on her.

	Hey, we agree on something... (none / 0) (#20)
	by hauntedattics on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 07:14:01 AM PST

	Don't know about the cross, but I'm all for the gasoline and match part. You can go back to hating me now.

	i don't hate you. (none / 0) (#23)
	by osm on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 07:31:21 AM PST

	i'm just full of shit. i've been up since 1pm yesterday. i'm wired on dr. pepper. and you are a good sport.

	and i have at least one lucid dream a day now (none / 0) (#24)
	by osm on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 07:35:50 AM PST

	and my cats use me as a piece of furniture. (none / 0) (#25)
	by osm on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 07:36:26 AM PST

	You'd better watch it... (none / 0) (#27)
	by hauntedattics on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 07:45:58 AM PST

	or you'll get cat scratch fever. Wait, isn't that a Ted Nugent song?

	And thus we come full circle. (none / 0) (#28)
	by TheReverand on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 07:51:03 AM PST

	<I>HIGH WELL I DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY COME FROM BUT THEY SURE DO COME I HOPE THEY COMING FOR ME AND I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY DO IT BUT THEY SURE DO IT GOOD I HOPE THEY DOING IT FOR FREE AND YOU CAN CAT SCRATCH FEVER CAT SCRATCH FEVER WELL THE FIRST TIME I GOT IT I WAS JUST TEN YEARS OLD I GOT IT FROM SOME KITTY NEXT DOOR AND WHEN I SEE THE DOCTOR AND HE GAVE ME THE CURE I THINK I GOT IT SOME MORE THEY GAVE ME CAT SCRATCH FEVER CAT SCRATCH FEVER I GOT A BACK SCRATCH FEVER CAT SCRATCH FEVER ITS NOTHING DANGEROUS I FEEL NO PAIN I GOT THE CHUG CHUG TRAIN YOU KNOW YOU GOT IT WHEN YOU GOING INSANE IT'LL MAKE A GROWN MAN CRY CRY WON'T YOU MAKE MY BAD solo WELL I MAKE A PUSSY PURR WITH THE STROKE OF MY HAND THEY KNOW THEY'RE GETTING IT FROM ME AND THEY KNOW JUST WHERE TO GO WHEN THEY NEED THEIR LOVING MAN THEY KNOW I'M DOING IT FOR FREE AND YOU CAN CAT SCRATCH FEVER CAT SCRATCH FEVER THEY GOT A CAT SCRATCH FEVER CAT SCRATCH FEVER CAT SCRATCH FEVER: 6 times YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH </I>

	Be careful... (none / 0) (#33)
	by hauntedattics on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 08:09:28 AM PST

	There have been numerous studies conducted on the effects of sleep deprivation on the human body. None of them are positive, and most of them are scary. Mmm, Dr. Pepper...makes me long for the good old days when I was allowed to drink caffeine. Now I actually have to sleep instead.

	you're on the wrong drugs. (none / 0) (#34)
	by osm on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 08:13:11 AM PST

	they put me on remeron. i love that stuff. i pop 30mg 1/2 before i want to pass out and that's all she wrote. i sleep like a baby, with bright, vivid dreams and wake up to a technicolor sugarland, like dorothy stepping into the land of oz.

	Wow (none / 0) (#45)
	by twodot72 on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 10:21:01 AM PST

	You can get wired on Dr. P? I need half a gallon of espresso to get wired. My regular caffeine consumption must be too high...

	that's funny (5.00 / 1) (#17)
	by osm on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 07:03:08 AM PST

	There have been by and large way too many radiohead references on this website. personally, i think there are too many communists/socialists/bed-wetters on this site.

	I completely agree (5.00 / 1) (#18)
	by TheReverand on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 07:06:52 AM PST

	I have been trying for weeks to get the communists out of here. I'm sick and tired of the mindless left wing propoganda that his been put out by this site in the name of "news". Have I mentioned Ted Nugent Rules recently?

	i swear (5.00 / 1) (#29)
	by osm on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 08:04:16 AM PST

	if i see one more spotted-owl-be-in fucker spout about how we should have a love-fest and share our feelings with binnie, i'm going to have to pull out my massive editorial powers like a flaming machete and start deleting diary entries.

	Wow... (none / 0) (#31)
	by hauntedattics on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 08:06:50 AM PST

	You make me all fluttery when you talk all manly like that. Especially because I agree with you about the love-fests.

	See guys? (5.00 / 1) (#47)
	by elby on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 11:27:56 AM PST

	I told you the womens couldn't resists our massive editorial powers. -lb

	Why... (none / 0) (#30)
	by hauntedattics on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 08:05:09 AM PST

	...do you spell your name with an 'a'?

	I'm not sure I know what you are talking about. (5.00 / 1) (#35)
	by TheReverand on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 08:19:00 AM PST

	Isn't Marc the correct spelling?

	Sorry to be unclear (none / 0) (#36)
	by hauntedattics on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 08:43:33 AM PST

	I was referring to the "Reverand". It would indeed be difficult to spell Marc without an a.

	long story short. (5.00 / 2) (#38)
	by TheReverand on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 08:50:20 AM PST

	I'm just another fucked up chick with issues. So I felt that taking out that manly E would help free me from this misogynistic society I live in. Meanwhile I hang out in #adequacy on slashnet, surrounded by a bunch of pigs.

	Don't unload your baggage on me sister (none / 0) (#41)
	by hauntedattics on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 09:51:33 AM PST

	And it's spelled "woman" not "womyn." What's manly about E anyway?

	well (none / 0) (#43)
	by TheReverand on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 10:06:34 AM PST

	there's an E in penis.

	There's also an e (none / 0) (#44)
	by hauntedattics on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 10:11:17 AM PST

	in breast and estrogen.

	well (none / 0) (#46)
	by TheReverand on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 10:34:28 AM PST

	I have neither. So I wouldn't know.

	Don't Eat Meat! (none / 0) (#50)
	by egg troll on Wed Oct 24th, 2001 at 03:44:19 PM PST

	<I>personally, i think there are too many communists/socialists/bed-wetters on this site.</I><BR> Anyone else concur that vegatarinism makes you sexually impotent? Posting for the love of the baby Jesus....

	I'm Such a Fucking Retard (none / 0) (#51)
	by egg troll on Wed Oct 24th, 2001 at 03:46:37 PM PST

	I'm just a simple unfrozen caveman. Your "dropdown boxes" confuse and frighten me. Posting for the love of the baby Jesus....

	yeah. i "get it" all right. (5.00 / 1) (#13)
	by osm on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 06:57:01 AM PST

	you're another fucked up chick with more issues than my Beloved Poster (tm) (which i costarred with in a short film). once you've completed an intensive decade of therapy and "found yourself" drop me a line.

	Ouch...that smarts (none / 0) (#21)
	by hauntedattics on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 07:20:34 AM PST

	No more issues than those of us who are obsessed with lesbians and Natalie posters, and who know what Keith Richards' ass looks like. And who watch the Beverly Hillbillies.

	well (5.00 / 1) (#22)
	by osm on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 07:26:14 AM PST

	i never claimed to be entirely stable

	Ditto (none / 0) (#26)
	by hauntedattics on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 07:44:47 AM PST

	That's why I keep following you around this site, my dear.

	so... (5.00 / 1) (#32)
	by osm on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 08:07:38 AM PST

	do you live anywhere near kc, hauntedattics? i need a chick for a short film i want to do.

	Sorry... (none / 0) (#37)
	by hauntedattics on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 08:49:37 AM PST

	I'm in that venerable university town in the Northeast, locally known as Bah-ston. What's the concept for your film?

	crud (5.00 / 1) (#39)
	by osm on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 08:56:36 AM PST

	it's simply a female sitting on a couch watching television, doing her nails, whatnot. in the background, you hear this horrible coughing that steadily grows more violent. the female sits there, completely oblivious to the "victim". that's it. brilliant, eh?!

	Fascinating (none / 0) (#40)
	by hauntedattics on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 09:45:18 AM PST

	I fear that I would not do a very good job in your film, given that my first reaction to violent coughing would be to give the person a nice drink of water, a cough drop or some nice Vitamin C. And then once they stopped coughing, I'd bug them too much about resting/seeing a doctor/etc. It's a question of caring too much, rather than too little.

	yeah, right. (5.00 / 1) (#42)
	by osm on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 09:59:38 AM PST

	vitamin c induces severe flatulence and drinking water is now probably a hotbed of virulent pathogens. i can't even get a woman to sit on my damn futon for at most 10 fucking minutes and do absolutely nothing. i hate you all.

	Whereabouts? (5.00 / 1) (#52)
	by cp on Wed Oct 24th, 2001 at 06:14:58 PM PST

	I'm in the Springfield area, but when I'm not, it's back east.

	Actually... (none / 0) (#53)
	by hauntedattics on Thu Oct 25th, 2001 at 07:51:00 AM PST

	I'm one of the few moderates working in the People's Republic of Cambridge.

	You mean 'North beantown' (none / 0) (#54)
	by Anonymous Reader on Thu Oct 25th, 2001 at 06:10:46 PM PST

	n/c

	oh yeah... (5.00 / 1) (#7)
	by osm on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 06:44:29 AM PST

	By the way, how do you know what Keith Richards' buttocks look like? you mean that's his face he sings with? or plays banjo with. or whatever he does.

	Wait a sec. (5.00 / 1) (#4)
	by TheReverand on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 06:24:31 AM PST

	What happened to your obsession with that other broad who sucked. What was her name? Hangs out with Spaceguy? Why is it, that you have to run the extremes of suck or glory. At one end, you have Natalie, at the other, you have suck dawg girl who's name I can't remember and isn't online at the moment.There are things in between ya know.

	i don't think you get it (5.00 / 1) (#5)
	by osm on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 06:40:10 AM PST

	Natalie is all i have. and not even that. a Natalie POSTER. what, do you want me to be obsessed with YOU?

	Negro Please. (5.00 / 1) (#9)
	by TheReverand on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 06:45:07 AM PST

	All I'm saying is that there is a plethora of non-lesbian, non-sucking, non-natalie women out there. And I'm not talking about jin.

	you are clearly insane. (5.00 / 1) (#11)
	by osm on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 06:54:30 AM PST

	All I'm saying is that there is a plethora of non-lesbian, non-sucking, non-natalie women out there. prove it.

	The Physicist. (5.00 / 1) (#12)
	by TheReverand on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 06:56:48 AM PST

	End Of Story.

	yeah, right. (5.00 / 1) (#14)
	by osm on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 06:58:37 AM PST

	the "physicist" that nobody has seen but you. well, it's been fun. i have to go to blockbuster and rent "chasing amy" now.

	You'll meet her (5.00 / 1) (#16)
	by TheReverand on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 07:01:18 AM PST

	At next years Annual Troll BB-Q. Or if we end up in Urbana-Champlaign for grad school.

	exactly (none / 0) (#48)
	by alprazolam on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 12:14:09 PM PST

	the only available women are those who are so busy pursuing their career that they can't put time into a real relationship. she'll wake up 6 years from now with a phd, realize she's got lots more free time, and move in with two 19 year old fratboys who drive suburbans.

	At this point .. (5.00 / 2) (#49)
	by seventypercent on Tue Oct 23rd, 2001 at 08:36:25 PM PST

	At next years Annual Troll BB-Q. At this point I would like to remind the good Reverand that trolling is not tolerated on Adequacy.org. What you do with your spare time is your own business, but on Adequacy.org, trolling is verboten (though astrophysics is okay.) Thank you for your cooperation. -- Red-blooded patriots do not use Linux.

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